From: owner-aml-list-digest@lists.xmission.com (aml-list-digest) To: aml-list-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: aml-list-digest V1 #726 Reply-To: aml-list Sender: owner-aml-list-digest@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-aml-list-digest@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk aml-list-digest Wednesday, May 29 2002 Volume 01 : Number 726 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 02:24:10 +0000 From: "Andrew Hall" Subject: [AML] Random Thoughts Random thoughts, none worth their own separate message: I finally saw Brigham City last week. My DVD player only works with DVD's bought in Japan, but a friend in the US found a video of Brigham City on Ebay and bought it for me. The video is not out officially yet, so I'm not sure how she got it. It has the horror film cover, and the one preview is for a buggy horror film called Creepy Crawly. Werid. Anyway, I greatly enjoyed it, and then I enjoyed all the discussion about it on AML-List that I have been avoiding for a year so it wouldn't ruin the movie for me. John-Charles' Duffy's paper and Scott Parkin and everyone else's responses were all very thought-provoking. Dutcher really is an excellent film-maker. I don't know much about psychotics, but wouldn't the killer have shown a few more signs of his problems than he did? Could he really have fooled his wife and Wes and everyone for so long that he was a normal, nice guy? Sorry about two attribution mistakes recently, Margaret Young on Egyptus, and a mistake about M. Shayne Bell's book in my Irreantum article. Thanks for correcting me. I enjoyed the new Irreantum, especially Darlene Young's story. Also the Brady Udall interview. I thought it was funny how the whole interview he seemed to be thinking, "who the heck are you AML people?" I liked how he can only write after midnight, it sounds like one of his charachters. I am not much of a poetry reader, but I liked the review of the Arthur Henry King collection. Thanks to Chris for his work on the magazine. I'm reading Terryl Givens' _By the Hand of Mormon_, and finding it fascinating. I'll probably give it a stronger review than Jeff Needle did. When we were in Seattle last year there was a "Pig Parade" similar to the "Cow Parade" someone mentioned. There were some very cool ones. Andrew Hall Fukuoka, Japan _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 10:16:33 -0600 From: "Jana Pawlowski" Subject: [AML] Re: Baby Exhaustion Original post: I have been trying to come up with a useful, interesting, and purchase-worthy book idea targeting young mothers that contained hints and tips for dealing with this season of their lives. Question 1: Do you think this topic has any merit? I know there's some stuff out there. . .has the subject matter been dealt with thoroughly? Question 2: Would you focus it on an LDS market so you could include gospel-related material (i.e., Relief Society, prayer, scriptures, etc.) or look toward a national market and keep it nonLDS specific (although you could certainly still include prayer-like suggestion, yoga, meditation, etc.) Jana: I think we can reach for a more universal market. Relief Society (at least in our ward, where they have 8 nurseries---Herriman new subdivisions) seems to put alot of time into addressing these issues each Sunday and work meetings, so maybe we should be kind and reach out to those who don't have that forum. Altho' market it locally as an LDS author, because young R.S. attenders should also benefit from it, but are sometimes conservative about reading non-LDS authors. Original post: Question 3: Are there any great experiences, suggestions, ideas, tips, etc. that anyone would care to share with me if I can get my act together and get this project going? (This one you may want to respond to me personally; I'd sure appreciate any and all input. . . ) Jana: My husband has been my personal hero/savior through my difficult child bearing experiences, so I'm generous/lenient with him in the, how does one say this delicately, that room where one retires at night and sometimes during daylight? I think that should be part of the equation of any eternal marriage, being each others' personal heroes (somehow combined with being your best critic too:.....but not in the retiring room). I just asked my husband, Randy, what should be done about the exhausted mothers, and he said, "Let them rest." So include that somewhere.....They get to nap whenever, wherever, and always by themselves. And if they like, to nature sounds or celtic harps or incense or church hymns, anything that is relaxing or soul-satisfying. We should all do Yoga too (I'm trying to pep-talk myself into this, actually. I have the tapes, I have the time, I'm just not doing it.) If motherhood really is the greatest calling then we should keep a sanctuary and provide a time where we can replenish ourselves (without getting into anything weird or polytheistic. I'm speaking as a solid member to other solid members. I was raised on a farm in Idaho, so those instruments of meditation and relaxation are pretty much just a mood setting gimick for me.) Jana Pawlowski - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 13:26:31 -0500 From: Linda Adams Subject: Re: [AML] Baby Exhaustion >I have never been so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and >intellectually exhausted in my life. I got great solace from Sharlee's >observation that the season passes; I'd suspected it, but having someone >confirm it was very heartening. It really does? Really, really? I have six, ages almost-12 to 3 months old. >Now for my questions. This pure and deep and even desperate fatigue has >taken me by such surprise, yet when I talk to people, it seems very >universal. Just about every mother of several young children seems to >experience it. Why aren't we WARNED? :-) My level of fatigue, after this baby, doesn't come close to what I thought was fatigue, when I had three kids 3 and under. I was in my early twenties then, though. Age makes a difference. There is also the related issue in Mormondom, almost never addressed in literature and rarely from the pulpit, of never knowing when you'll be finished with that birthing stage (until you actually are). And of wishing you were finished, but personal revelation tells you otherwise. And perhaps even guilt over being finished. How many babies is honestly "all you can care for?" For some families that's literally one or two. For others it might be nine, ten, eleven. Couple this fatigue with a knowledge it's only going to be added upon, and it's no wonder there are so many hopeless women out there on Prozac. > I have been trying to come up with a useful, interesting, and >purchase-worthy book idea targeting young mothers that contained hints and >tips for dealing with this season of their lives. If you do, I'll buy it. I'd love to come up with stories to help you, but man, I am TOO TIRED! :-) I did go to a yoga class last Saturday, for the first time, and it really, really helps. It *works.* I don't know how. Probably through that "governing vessel" stuff Paris was teaching us all about. But how easy is it to get out of the house and do that, on a regular basis? Or afford it? (The class I attended was a free trial run.) Yoga, especially, is something that needs to be taught. You can't just read a book and learn how. And it fits in with our gospel just fine. Sharlee is also right about the sense of being "all touched out." Young moms can hit a saturation point in a very real sense, no matter how much one naturally, normally enjoys cuddling children and other enjoyable physical things. Dads who are doing their full part to be involved in it (getting up at night, doing housework, etc.) can become equally as tired. Linda Adams adamszoo@sprintmail.com http://home.sprintmail.com/~adamszoo - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 12:30:26 -0700 (PDT) From: "R.W. Rasband" Subject: Re: [AML] Young Heroes Then there's Buffy Summers, who was called to be the vampire Slayer when she was only 15. She has of course saved the world multiple times since then:-) Two good evaluations of the recent astonishing season finale can be found online: "Buffy's War" by Thomas Hibbs http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/comment-hibbs052402.asp "Willow, Destroyer of Worlds" by Stephanie Zacharek (one of the most perceptive writers about "Buffy") http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/feature/2002/05/22/buffy/index.html ===== R.W. Rasband Heber City, UT rrasband@yahoo.com __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 13:42:49 -0600 From: "R.W. Rasband" Subject: [AML] LDS and Evangelical Universities An interesting piece in "The Wall Street Journal" about an Evangelical college, Patrick Henry, that was denied accreditation on the grounds of lack of academic freedom. That institution is compared to Southern Virginia University, a mostly-LDS college that has had no trouble with accreditation. I think the author, Naomi Schaefer, perfectly captures the contrast between Evangelical and LDS worldviews. That kind of crippling narrowness is what we came to Utah to get away from:-) http://opinionjournal.com/taste/?id=110001751 _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 14:17:58 -0600 From: "Amy Chamberlain" Subject: Re: [AML] Baby Exhaustion - ----- Original Message ----- > Completely off topic here, but I jumped on this part of Sharlee's post. It's > very timely for me. Currently I have three children, aged 5, 3, and six > months. I have never been so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and > intellectually exhausted in my life. I got great solace from Sharlee's > observation that the season passes; I'd suspected it, but having someone > confirm it was very heartening. This section of Sharlee's post had the opposite effect on me. I currently have ONE child, who's almost two, and after reading this I'm thinking: so what's so bad about having only one? Terminal exhaustion isn't my idea of fun. I guess that I'm essentially lazy. Yeah, sounds like a book on the topic would be a good idea. [Amy Chamberlain] - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 18:17:43 -0400 From: "Tracie Laulusa" Subject: Re: [AML] Money and Art - ----- Original Message ----- > > > We have a Stake Pres. who is a very highly regarded doctor. He has taken > > care of missionaries without compensation for years. > > If I made what a doctor made doing my art, I suppose I would be able to help > people with art as well. > Reply: I'm not sure comparative earnings are a good measure of whether or not we should donate our time to a project. So his profession has the possibility of higher hourly wage. All the more reason, some would say, for him NOT to donate his time and services. There are other things that are just as important as money. How about time. I'm sure that often he was giving this service during his very limited personal time. After all, he already has a full church work load with all his stake presidenting. A while back there was a service project in our area--collecting coats for the needy. I noticed that not very many were being donated in our ward. But we had one family that donated about five--one from every member of their family. And they were probably about the poorest members of our ward. We happened to be friends with them, which is the only reason I know of it. If I had looked around the ward I would have picked them as the people who should not be donating coats and should possibly be receiving them instead. It gave them great joy to make this small sacrifice. I guess all I'm trying to say is that there is something to be said for giving the widow's mite. And, as said before, each person's decision is between themselves and God. Tracie - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 18:29:07 -0400 From: "Tracie Laulusa" Subject: Re: [AML] Changes over Time I'm with you Thom. While the principles of salvation remain the same, much of what we call doctrine is actually practice. And, you're right. Writers better know the difference, and know what was acceptable at different times. The missionary's Mom in Falling Toward Heaven gets in big trouble for laying on hands during prayer counseling. I believe at one point it was not uncommon for women to perform similar blessings. (Though I am not at all sure of the extent of the practice.) We've had discussions on the wine thing and male facial hair thing on the list in the recent past. I know that some practices vary from region to region in the church today. In some areas a priesthood holder must be the concluding speaker, or the closing prayer must be given by a priesthood holder, or choirs can only sing hymns from the book and ditto for organists. Tracie - ----- Original Message ----- >Suffice it to say that our doctrines > have changed so much that visitors from the past would hardly recognize > the Church of today. LDS writers need to know this lest they make such > stupid mistakes as showing ancient apostles drinking grapejuice, or > (more appropriately to a project I'm currently involved with) that > witholding priesthood from black people was a God-sanctioned practice. > > Thom Duncan - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 May 2002 21:24:35 -0700 From: "Levi Peterson" Subject: Re: [AML] Changes in Usage Regarding all right versus alright: I teach Freshman English online. Alright is a non-word with me. I correct it in my students' essays. I doubt that alright will ever become acceptable in formal English. I was told fifty years ago in my Freshman English class that it would be only a matter of a few years till ain't became a respectable word. This half century later, it still isn't respectable. I think that is the way it will be with alright. Levi Peterson althlevip@msn.com - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 13:20:25 -0600 From: "Thom Duncan" Subject: [AML] Update to the Nauvoo Theatrical Society - 2 I have a distinct memory from my college days: "I'm glad I'm a theatre major. Now I'll never have to do hard physical labor." So why did I recently go out and by (for the first time in lo these many years) a tube of Extra-Strength Thera-gesic, and a bottle of arthritis capsules? Well, the vagaries of producing theatre in Utah County being what they are, it became obvious to me many years ago that, if ever I wanted to see my plays produced, I would have to do it myself. So here I am, years later, swinging a sledge hammer against a temporary wall in a retail space that used to sell outdoor equipment (and was a hair salon before that) -- to make room for a 150-seat theatre where my organization, the Nauvoo Theatrical Society -- will soon produce its first 7-play season. I feel a bit out of my depth -- I'd rather just write and direct -- but since no one else is breaking down my doors to do my plays, I've assumed the role of Business Owner in order to give birth to my dream. As it turns out, the dream is a shared one, shared by Scott Bronson, and more recently by Paul Duerden, who have thus far helped immeasurably in helping this project limp forward. The irony of my college memory that being in theater would mean I wouldn't have to do "real" work came to mind during a recent visit to Lowe's. Scott and I were walking through the aisles, cramming our shopping cart with stuff we figured we'd need on an ongoing basis at the theatre (things like toilet brushes, waste baskets, mops, brooms). It hit me during a brief discussion over the kind of stepladder to get (one or two steps) how, to an outside, Scott and I looked for all the world like a couple of aging Queens setting up a household. This was confirmed when we approached a salesman for information on buying a refrigerator for our Green Room. He looked us both us and down and said, "Yep. You can sure put a lot of six-packs in there, can't ya?" Innocuous comment? Or, as Scott later surmised, was the guy trying his best NOT to suggest that he thought we were gay by going to the Macho extreme? Anyway, I remember feeling the need to dissuade the salesman of any thoughts about our sexual preferences, so I blurted out, to answer his comment about the six-packs, "Actually, it's the perfect size for us to store the six severed heads we currently have in storage." (In retrospect: Now THAT's intelligent, isn't it? So a guy won't think you're gay, make him think you're Jeffery Dahmer). My point being is that sometimes artists (and probably more so, Mormon artists) have to be pro-actively engaged in creating a market where none exists. Maybe a person who writes plays for the general public can happily crank out words, send them to Cafe LaMama and then show up on opening night. But in the niche market that I, Scott, and others have chosen to write for, we have to do everything from producing to taking tickets at the door. We have to learn to deal with the stares of others while we have a "lover's" spat over the best kind of disinfectant for the bathrooms. We have to learn (if we don't already know) how to swing a hammer. We have to be willing to get dirty, tired, and achy for our art. Yesterday (Saturday) we raised the framing for half the wall to the front lobby. When I saw it go up, I felt, "It's been worth it so far." I know it will stay that way. I may have to buy more Extra-Strength Thera-gesic before we're finally done, but it'll definitely be worth it. - --- Thom Duncan The Nauvoo Theatrical Society "Mormon artists exploring Mormon life through theatre" - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 22:48:45 -0600 From: "Sharlee Glenn" Subject: Re: [AML] Baby Exhaustion Kellene wrote: > Completely off topic here, but I jumped on this part of Sharlee's post. It's > very timely for me. Currently I have three children, aged 5, 3, and six > months. I have never been so emotionally, physically, spiritually, and > intellectually exhausted in my life. I got great solace from Sharlee's > observation that the season passes; I'd suspected it, but having someone > confirm it was very heartening. I am happy to know that you got solace from my rambling confessional. I was repenting of having sent out a post that was so personal, but after reading this and receiving several private responses, I'm glad I was so open. We *do* need to talk about our shared experiences, worries, and frustrations. As I told a friend recently, it's the only way I know of to begin to diminish that sense of existential isolation. You wrote: > Now for my questions. This pure and deep and even desperate fatigue has > taken me by such surprise, yet when I talk to people, it seems very > universal. Just about every mother of several young children seems to > experience it. I have been trying to come up with a useful, interesting, and > purchase-worthy book idea targeting young mothers that contained hints and > tips for dealing with this season of their lives. > > Question 1: Do you think this topic has any merit? I know there's some stuff > out there. . .has the subject matter been dealt with thoroughly? I think your idea has great merit! And, no, I don't think it has been dealt with thoroughly. I would love to see a book that targeted an LDS audience, but I wonder who would publish it. The major LDS publishers seem to like authors with the right credentials (most often someone with a degree in family sciences teamed with someone from the religion department at BYU!)--especially when tackling anything to do with sex. But I would be much more interested in a book about the exhaustion of the baby-bearing years that was written by a true expert--i.e., a bright, insightful woman who is *in* the season (or one who has recently survived it). As a side-note: one thing I have found that both astounds and saddens me is that too many older women have forgotten what those years were like. As one who has just "passed through" (my youngest is now 4), I have vowed never to forget. Our society does a deplorable job of offering support to young mothers. I'd like to change that--at least in my own little family circle. Anyway, I say go for it, Kellene! I'd be happy to bounce ideas around with you if you want to e-mail me privately. Sharlee Glenn glennsj@inet-1.com - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 May 2002 12:53:58 -0600 From: "Scott Parkin" Subject: [AML] Mormon Fiction/Nonfiction Markets [MOD: Responses to the questions Scott poses would be welcome either over AML-List or as private replies to him.] I know this question goes around fairly often, but I wanted to raise it again--especially in light of recent discussions on different kinds of fiction and the fundamental differences between them. I know that most of the major Mormon publishers lurk on this list, so I hope they will respond and help me understand the scope and extent of the Mormon fiction (and non-fiction) market. I know that the AML maintains a pretty good list of publishers, but there is a limited amount of information on the extent, slant, and success of those publishers. Which leads to a series of questions-- * Who are the major players in LDS publishing? We know about DB/Bookcraft/Shadow Mountain, Covenant Communications, Signature, and Cornerstone. Who else is still playing? American Book claims to be a player but I can't recall hearing their name associated with an actual LDS title discussed here on the List. Aspen seems to have disappeared along with Horizon. I keep hearing about Gibbs Smith, but I'm not sure I recall any of their titles. Cedar Fort still feels like a subsidy press despite their protestations to the contrary; for the current inquiry I'm more interested in publishers that pay authors, not the other way around. * What is the general "slant" of these publishers with regards to fiction? DB and Covenant seem interested in middle of the road, "mainstream correlated" LDS work. Signature is reputed to be more interested in critical or literary works. What about the others? Is there a good "edgy-but-faithful" publisher out there? I know that each publisher offers guidelines, but the reality of what works are actually bought is often quite different from the ideal world described in writers guidelines. * What is the general slant of these publishers with regards to non-fiction? Are any of them willing to take a chance on a potentially difficult subject matter--especially if it could run afoul of Correlation? (For example, I've been thinking about a non-fiction title for Mormon teens based around the question "What if I *don't* know the Church is true?" that explores the nature of testimony, how it's expressed, how it's developed, how it relates to questions or doubts, how much of it is necessary to go on a mission/temple trip/BYU, and similar questions. I think we talk a lot about testimony and *knowing* truth, but I'm not sure we've been as frank as we can be (or ought to be) on dealing with questions and doubts and struggles. My goal with such a work would be to mine the resources of the institutional Church for correlated answers, but also to offer a substantial number of other kinds of ideas--not all of them correlated. It's the kind of book that could offend a lot of people, but whose only purpose is to help young people understand--and hopefully overcome--some of the powerful questions and doubts that often arise when one starts actively considering their beliefs and the role of the Church in both the foundation and support of those beliefs. Despite news stories to the contrary, Mormons are not homogeneous in social, political, or religious thought, and it's often our differences on social and political issues that lead us to question our place in the greater Church more than doubts about religious issues. Are there any publishers who would publish such a book, even it is wasn't fully correlated?) * How many titles do each of these publishers offer in the Mormon market in a given year in both fiction and non-fiction? I believe DB is a more extensive non-fiction market, but Covenant may well be the largest LDS fiction publisher. Signature only did one or two fiction titles last year. Do the other markets really count? * How many copies do these publishers move in a year, both in terms of total sales and individual titles? I suspect that a popular LDS book sells as many copies as an average national market book, which suggests that we may not be as far behind the curve as some of us think we are--especially in Children's/YA literature. * What is the average shelf-life of a book offered by LDS publishers? The average national market title stays on the shelf for between two weeks and six months (unless it ends up in the "classics" or "literature" section, or unless the author is writing series books). It seems like LDS publishers keep titles on the shelf for a little bit longer than the others--between six months and two years--thus allowing for more word-of-mouth sales and keeping authors in front of readers for longer. * What is the national availability of titles offered by Mormon publishers? Covenant is associated with Seagull Book (though they also distribute to DB and other LDS booksellers). Likewise, DB is primarily associated with Deseret Book stores (though they also distribute to Seagull and other LDS booksellers). DB's Shadow Mountain imprint claims to be nationally distributed, but I'm curious how extensive that distribution is, and how easily Mormons can obtain those titles from non-DB/Seagull/LDS bookstore outlets. I'm not sure how extensive the distribution of LDS titles is outside of Utah/Idaho/Arizona, and would like to know more. * What percentage of sales for LDS publishers are in the Utah corridor? I suspect 90% of the sales of LDS books are in Utah/Idaho/SoCal/Arizona. Do LDS publishers really have visibility outside of the intermountain West? ===== I know that's a fairly large list of questions, but I'm very, very interested in the answers. I suspect that most people think of DB as dominating the market, and I'm not sure the total numbers really bear that out--at least not for fiction. I'd like to find out. I'm also quite interested in comparing the numbers offered by the publishers with the perceptions offered by individual LDS authors and book buyers. I suspect there's a disconnect between those two perceptions and I'd like to find out for sure. If I can get enough information, I will try to digest it and offer an author's analysis of the LDS market, its opportunities, its contact points, and its potential for both financial reward and extensive distribution. If I don't get enough information, I will offer what I do learn with appropriate disclaimers of incompleteness. I know that as an individual author I have had a hard time understanding the extent of the LDS publishing market, and I suspect others have wondered as well. Obviously any analysis is only as good as the data its founded on; I hope the LDS publishers who lurk on this list will help me compile this information so LDS authors can be informed about the nature and extent of the opportunities available within our market. As I said before, I suspect the potential for success is quite a bit greater than most authors believe. Phase II will be a look at LDS-friendly publishers outside of the Mormon corridor. I've made no secrets about my desire to start an imprint with one of the major publishers that expands the definitions of Mormon literature beyond the "faithful morality tale"/"how I grew up and left the Church" duality that I perceive in the current LDS market. I believe that there is a substantial middle ground for a literature that splits the difference, that offers sometimes difficult and challenging--yet fundamentally faithful--looks at what it means to be Mormon in the modern world. I admit freely that one of my selfish reasons for trying to collect this data is to find out what the total LDS publishing market looks like today so I can justify the creation of a new line of LDS works. But that is only one of my intents; my primary goal is to educate people to the extent of the opportunity that exists within the LDS publishing world as it stands today. Your assistance is collecting this data is appreciated. If you want to send information to me privately, I would be very much interested in understanding the extent of that information. If I get enough data I will post an analysis to the List in general. Thanks. Scott Parkin - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 08:28:23 -0600 From: margaret young Subject: Re: [AML] Random Thoughts Thanks for providing a needed rest from this dang writing, Andrew. It's 8:00 a.m. and I've been at this since 5:00--trying to make an impossible deadline with an impossibly convoluted manuscript. I really did need to talk about Ted Bundy exactly now. He, of course, was an insidiously, deceptively charming serial murderer--and he was also a baptized Mormon. Not only did people persistently believe in his innocense, but one deluded lady married him during his trial. My own sister told me about giving a hitchhiker a ride many years ago and sensing something scary and evil about him, then dropping him off at the University Mall. Later, when she saw his picture, she recognized him as Ted Bundy--but this was long after he was into his serial murders. I suspect he hid his wickedness from MOST of his associates--at least at first. Eventually, I suspect people could sense something about him. Dutcher plays with this idea a little in the porn addicted character who is strange and not quite "right", self-consciously hiding some secret, and who is intended to divert the audience's suspicions. I do think it is possible for evil to disguise itself extremely well. Thus, we are led CAREFULLY to Hell. My husband dropped a rare hint of something he has had to encounter in a disciplinary council: a case (or more than one--I don't know) of pedophilia. It is almost impossible for me to even imagine that any member of my stake could be a pedophile. Then again, most of us would be surprised to learn about the trials our neighbors are dealing with, or the temptations they fight (or don't). [Margaret Young] Andrew Hall wrote: > I finally saw Brigham City last week. [snip] > > I don't know much about psychotics, but wouldn't the killer have shown a few > more signs of his problems than he did? Could he really have fooled his > wife and Wes and everyone for so long that he was a normal, nice guy? - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 08:53:16 -0600 From: margaret young Subject: [AML] re: Baby Exhaustion I am the oldest of eight children, and I fully suspect that my mother had a sort of nervous breakdown when she was expecting #5, and various episodes of undiagnosed depression afterwards. (I was six years old at the time.) My childhood memories are quite vivid--and they do not include Family Home Evening or singing "I'm so glad when Daddy comes home" before settling down to a scruptuous supper. I remember my mother being completely exhausted. I remember her sobbing. I remember her telling us time and again that she was not our slave and couldn't we do at least a little housework? This is not to imply that she was a bad mother or that I had an unhappy childhood. I think my mother was simply heroic in managing all she did while an utterly unrealistic image of what a Mormon mother should be hovered around her in stern condemnation, and chemical imbalances kept her (I believe) from experiencing true joy. I think it is amazing that she organized a birthday party for me when I was twelve, that she bought me dolls and dresses, that she had SOMETHING on the table for supper every night, that she managed to smile many, many times, and that she told me some silly rhymes when I was very young which I still remember. Nothing short of heroic. Dad was mostly absent, but a formidible, even godly influence anyway, and surely the source of my own driven nature. What happened to us Blair kids in the face of this really difficult situation, was that we BONDED with each other. In many ways, we parented each other and we remain the best of friends and the best supporters of each other still. Now, as I prepare to welcome my first grandbaby into the world (in six weeks), I have warned my daughter about the fatigue she will feel and have cautioned her to not overdo--and certainly not to buy into the idea that she has to singlehandedly populate rural Utah so that the Lord's choicest spirits can have good homes. I have also testified to her that her children will be her greatest joy, and that giving birth will be the greatest miracle of her life. When she was born, the midwife sensed that she was a girl before her delivery, and told me, "I can feel her spirit, and it just feels like a girl--sweet and tinkley." There is so much I would change about my own mothering, and most of it involves tossing out the Mormon myths and just loving my kids. Of course, there have been some books written on this subject, and I recommend Emily Watt's _Being the Mom_, which deals with guilt humorously. But my own experience with Mormon literature on this subject is that it partakes far too much of self-congratulatory anecdotes and quotes from general authorities--all of whom seem to be male. There are some wonderful books on childrearing by some Born-Again Christians. One I love is called _Shepharding Your Children_. I don't recall the author. [Margaret Young] - -- AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature ------------------------------ End of aml-list-digest V1 #726 ******************************