From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (Buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: Buffyfic-digest V2 #73 Reply-To: buffyfic@xmission.com Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk Buffyfic-digest Sunday, March 22 1998 Volume 02 : Number 073 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Our Hearts Will Go On 4/6 BUFFYFIC: Our Hearts Will Go On 5/6 See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 13:18:12 -0800 (PST) From: michele v Subject: BUFFYFIC: Our Hearts Will Go On 4/6 TITLE: Our Hearts Will Go On 4/? AUTHOR: Michele V. EMAIL ADDRESS: glynisgrl33@yahoo.com FEEDBACK: Definitely, especially since this is my first fic- but since it is, please don't be too harsh SPOILERS: All episodes through "What's My Line 1 & 2" RATING: PG SUMMARY: A Buffy/Angel story that takes place after "What's My Line 1 & 2" with some added Willow/Oz and Xander/Cordelia. Also, Buffy and the gang find out about the return of the Master- in some form. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters except for "The Elgradora" All of the other characters belong to Joss Whedon and the WB. No copywrite infringement intended. NOTE: I wrote this after "What's My Line 2" therefor without knowing that something similar would *sort of* happen in "Surprise" ********** PART 4 SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL Xander and Willow sat talking outside on the steps of Sunnydale High after school got out. "Did you see the look on Mr. Jamison's face when he realized that his toupe' had fallen off?" Xander asked, laughing. "Yeah, it was pretty funny," Willow said giggling. "But- not as funny as the time he bent over and split his pants and everyone saw his Batman underwear," Xander said, still laughing. "True, I don't thing anything could beat that," Willow answered. Xander looked off to the side briefly and spotted Buffy looking around for them. "Hey, Buff! We're over here!" Xander called to her. Buffy smiled and walked over towards them. "Hey," she greeted them. "Hi," Willow said. "How are you? I mean, are you feeling better?" she asked her friend. "A little," Buffy told them. "The story about Mr. Jamison made me smile, so that's a plus" Buffy said grinning. "You heard?" Xander asked. "Yeah, me and everyone else in school," Buffy told him. "Oh, of course" There was an awkward silence. Buffy's smile disappeared and her face was filled with sadness. "So...the big Friday night dance at the Bronze..Are you two game?" Xander asked breaking the silence. Buffy looked up at him. "Well I kinda have to go. I told Angel I'd be there so he's gonna meet me there after he's done packing," she told them. "So I'll take that as a yes from you. Willow?" "Yeah, I'll go," Willow told him. "Ok, then. Our plans are now set. Mom's here- so now I must go home and couch potato it until it's time to go. I'll see you guys, later," Xander said then got into his mother's car. Willow and Buffy waved goodbye to Xander and his mom. Buffy turned to Willow. "Well, since training is off for today, I can walk you home," Buffy said standing up. "Then when I get home I can sulk for three hours and by then it'll be time to get ready to leave." Willow smiled and the two of them walked home together. (LATER THAT NIGHT) THE BRONZE Willow and Xander finally took a break from dancing and walked over to the table where Buffy had been sitting alone for almost two hours. "Still no sign of Angel, huh?" Willow asked her friend. Xander shook his head in disgust. "And you call that a boyfriend? Where I'm from that's called standing someone up. Now he had better have a good reason for putting my best friend in more major mope mode then she already is in or I'll just have to-" Willow interrupted. "Xander, calm down. This is Angel we're talking about. He'd never do that to Buffy." "Ya know, you're right. What am I talking about? He'd never do such a thing as that- he'd just move far far away so that her heart could be broken." Willow looked at Buffy. "So, what do you think happened to him, Buffy? I mean, what if- he was on his way here and Spike and Druscilla found out he was coming here, so they waited outside for him and captured-" Willow paused when she saw the look Buffy was giving her. "Ok, ok, sorry- Guess I got a little carried away." "Just a little," Buffy said sarcasticly. "So you think he's ok then?," Willow asked, already knowing her answer. "I'm sure he's fine," Buffy answered her. "He's probably just finishing up all of his packing tonight so he can sleep all day tomorrow." "Yeah, well, I'd hate to tell you but I think our vampy pal Angel is a no show tonight- The Bronze closes in fifteen minutes- which means, there's only like three more songs left to boogie on down to"Xander told her. "So what do you say, Buffy- Think you can spare one little dance with your best friend?" Buffy nodded. "Sure- It beats sitting down and sulking.. Anyway, I came here to dance- and I haven't done that all night." "That's that spirit! C'mon!" Xander said, pulling Buffy onto the dance floor. Buffy and Xander danced together to an upbeat song. Then a slower song came on. Xander and Buffy continued dancing together while Willow sat alone at the table. "Are you with anyone?" a familiar voice behind her asked. Willow turned around to see Oz standing there. "Oh, hi, Oz. Well, I came with my two friends but they're out on the dance floor right now- so right now, no- Are you?" Oz shook his head. "Not anymore. I came with Devon but as soon as Cordelia spotted him she-" Willow interrupted. "You don't have to tell me the rest- I think I know what happened." "Yeah," Oz agreed. "So, did you just come here now? 'Cause it closes soon and it would just be kinda weird if you came for only the last few minutes," Willow asked. "Well, actually, yeah- we just came now. Devon wanted to see Cordelia since he knew shed be here-and since he's my ride home I had to come along, so, yeah," Oz told her. The two sat in silence for a moment. "Do you wanna dance?" Oz asked, breaking the silence. "Me?" Willow asked, somewhat surprised. Oz grinned. "Well, yeah- I didn't think there was any other Willow here that I was talking to- Unless you have some invisible clone- Wait let me check," he said, then looked under the table and behind him. "Willow? Willow?" he said as he did so. Willow giggled slightly. "Sorry- I guess-I' just not used to a guy-well other then Xander- asking me to dance," she explained. "Well you do know how, right?" Oz asked . "Oh, yeah, I just-" she began. "Well then let's dance," he told her. Willow nodded her head in agreement as Oz led her out on the dance floor. The two began slow dancing. When the song ended, Devon came over by where Oz and Willow were standing. "Hey Devon, What's going on?" Oz asked his friend. "Cordelia and I got into a little *disagreement*, so I'm ready to bail. You coming?" Oz looked at Willow for a moment then turned back to his friend. "I think I'm gonna stay," he told Devon. "Ok man, See you tomorrow at practice," Devon said. "Yeah-I'll be there. See ya," Oz answered. When Devon was gone, Willow turned to Oz. "Uh, Oz? Wasn't he your ride home?" she asked him. Oz nodded with a slight grin. "Yeah..but staying here is worth my walking home," he told her. Willow blushed. "Has anyone ever told you that you look kind of cute when you blush like that?" Oz asked her grinning. Willow just stared at him. "'Cause you do.. Not good at handling compliments, are you? "No- Oh, I mean- Sorry- it's just- Well, no one has really-" Willow began. "Ever complimented you," Oz finished for her. "Well, no guy-Well, besides-" Willow began again. "Xander," Oz finished for her again. Willow nodded. "Yeah." "Well, I don't handle them too well myself so...But, do you wanna keep dancing?" "Oh-yeah, sure. I mean if you want to," Willow answered nervously. Oz smiled. "I want to," he answered. "Ok, then, let's- keep dancing," she said. Willow and Oz started dancing dancing again as the song "How Do I Live," by LeAnn Rhymes came on. Xander and Buffy also began to slow dance together again, when someone approached them from behind Buffy. "Hey," the person said, looking at Xander. "Hi," Xander answered. Buffy turned around as soon as she heard the person's voice. "Angel. I wasn't sure you'd show," she told him. Angel looked at Xander. "Can I- cut in?" Angel asked him. Xander nodded. "She's all yours-Well, not *all* yours- Ah, you know what I mean." Xander headed back to a table by himself when he spotted Cordelia standing all alone in a corner. He approached her. "Cordelia- What are you doing here all by yourself-I figured you'd be latched on to Devon somewhere." "No. We-well we just broke up," Cordelia told him. "I'm sorry to hear that," Xander said, trying to sound like he meant it, although he really did not. "Look- I know your probably gonna say to no this- but I thought I'd ask anyway..Do you wanna maybe- dance?" Cordelia looked annoyed at first but then managed a slight smile. "Sure-why not." The two walked off onto the dance floor and began slow dancing together. Angel wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist holding her close to him while Buffy placed her hands on Angel's shoulders. "I'm really sorry that I got here so late. I just- had a lot of things to do to-" Angel began explaining softly. "It's ok. I understand. Let's just forget about it and enjoy now, ok?" Angel nodded. "Ok." They danced, holding each other close, as they looked deeply into each other's eyes. The words to the song finally came on. *How do I Get through the night with you If I had to live without you What kind of life would that be* *Oh I, Need you in my arms, need you to hold You're my world, my heart, my soul If you ever leave Baby it would take away everything good in my life* *And tell me now, How do I live without you, I want to know, How do I breathe without you, If you ever go* As Buffy stared into Angel's eyes, listening to the lyrics of the beautiful song, a tear rolled down her cheek when she realized how much the lyrics to the song expressed the way she was feeling about Angel leaving. When Angel noticed her tears he began to get slightly choked up himself. He pulled Buffy even closer to him, letting her head rest on his shoulder, and almost hugging her for comfort as they swayed to the music. *Without you, There would be no sun in my sky There would be no love in my life, There'd be no world left for me* *And I, Baby I don't know what I would do, I'd be lost if I lost you If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything Real in my life* "Angel?" Buffy whispered in his ear, through slight sobs. "Hmm?" he answered. "Will you ever be back?" she asked him, drawing away from him so she could look into his eyes. "I don't know," he answered softly after a long pause. Buffy just nodded and pulled her self closer to him, holding on tight to him, as if that would keep him from leaving. *How do I go on If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything Need you with me Baby don't you know that you are everything good in my life* Buffy couldn't take it anymore and tears flooded her eyes and cheeks as she cried onto Angel's shoulder. Angel felt her body shaking as she cried and tried to comfort her- while he hugged her with one arm, he brought his other arm to the back of her head, burying her head in his chest. He kissed the top of her head. *And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive How do I, How do I, oh How do I live* The song was almost over but Buffy couldn't wait until the end-she had to leave-the pain was too much for her. She pulled away from Angel and sprinted out of the Bronze, hysterical, and ran all the way home. To her advantage her mother wasn't home again- she didn't want to have to answer any questions about why she was upset. Buffy just went straight to her room and laid down on her bed, crying hysterically. After a few minutes, she was able to calm down a bit, but still, hadn't noticed that someone else was in the room with her. Angel. Her back was turned towards him but he could tell that she was still crying by the light sobs he heard coming from her. Angel walked quietly over to her bed and placed a gentle hand on her cheek. Buffy knew who it was right away and turned to face him, exposing her tear-filled face to him. It hurt Angel so much to see her like that. He moved his hand to wipe the tears that were falling from her eyes as she stared at him. His own face showed a pain filled expression as he stared down at her. As he went to wipe more tears away Buffy covered his hand with hers for a second and then pushed it away from her face, letting go of her grip on it. She turned her head the other way- She couldn't look at him and see the pain that she afflicted upon him by pushing him away when he was only trying to comfort her. Angel stood there with question. Tears were beginning to fill his own eyes as he stood unsure of what he should say, or what he should do. After a few more sobs Buffy finally spoke to him. "This is hard ,Angel, this is so hard," she said. Angel nodded. "I know," was all he could say. Buffy waited a few moments and spoke again. "I can't do this- I can't say goodbye like this-when we're involved- It's too hard," Buffy continued. Angel just stared at her. Buffy waited a few more seconds. "I think- we should just- not be together anymore- end our relationship here- because it's just too hard to say goodbye to you while we're in one," she said. She turned her head the other way. "What are you saying, Buffy?" Angel asked softly. After a few more sobs she spoke again. "I need you... to leave," Buffy told him. She turned her head back, to see what his response to this would be. Angel stared at her for a second. He understood how she was feeling- and that it hurt her more right now to see him. He gave her a slight nod then stared at her a few more seconds-then turned and walked towards her door. Angel stopped when he reached the door and turned his head slightly, but still not enough to face her. "I wish things could be different, Buffy..that I didn't have to leave Sunnydale," he commented. After a short silence, Buffy answered. "Me too. But- things just don't go the way we want them to in life. Especially in mine." She wished he would just leave so that she wouldn't lose it in front of him. "Well, goodbye Buffy," he said knowing that she wanted him to leave. Buffy didn't answer and just watched him continue out of her room. She waited until she heard him close her front door to let loose the emotions she was holding back. She broke out into tears again. She cried and cried , nonstop for about an hour. Then around 11:00 she finally calmed down a bit. The phone rang on the night table next to Buffy's bed. Buffy reached over and picked it up. "Hello?...Oh, hey Will....I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave or I would've just cried write there....Yeah, he came by, but- I told him to leave. I think it was the right thing to do- Just break it off-and stay away from him until tommorow night..It should be easy to do considering it's only a day..Yeah, should be but right now it doesn't seem like it will be. I miss him already and I just saw him an hour ago...No, I think he understands why..I think it'll be easier to deal with, I guess..He said goodbye, but I didn't answer. I couldn't- It was just too hard..Will, I think I'm gonna go on slay patrol now, even though it's kind of late. That should get my mind off this..I will.Ok, I'll try. I'll call you tomorrow and we can do something..K, bye." Buffy hung up the phone, just to have it ring again. "Hello?..Mom- hi..I'm fine. I was just- getting ready t o go to Willow's-to sleep over I mean since it's so late..You do?..No, I'll be fine.Besides I'll be at Willow's tonight and- I'll see if I can stay there tomorrow night too..You just take care of whatever you have to at the gallery and I'll see you Monday..That's two days right?..No-mom, I'll be fine..Don't worry, I'll be good..Ok mom. Love you, too. Bye," Buffy hung up the phone again. She grabbed the jacket that Angel had given her awhile back and a stake from her drawer and left the house on slay patrol. Buffy was walking towards the park when she came to the building that Angel lived in. She stopped for a moment thinking of how badly she wanted to just go in there and throw her arms around him. But she couldn't. She had to stay away from him to make it easier to let go. She continued walking again, her thoughts still on Angel and how he was leaving. But since her thoughts were invading her mind and taking her attention off of slaying, she didn't notice the vampire that had come up behind her until it was too late. He had her by the neck and she was too tired and stressed out to fight back at the moment. The she felt it- two fangs puncture the skin on her neck and the vampire slowly draining the blood out of her. After he had taken the slightest bit, Buffy's salyer sense kicked in and she managed to push her stake through his heart, turning him to dust immediately. Buffy turned the other way and placed her fingers up to her neck, in pain. She decided that she needed help fast, and the closet place would be Angel's. As much as she wanted to stay away from him, she couldn't. She needed help immediately. Buffy ran to Angel's apartment and knocked on his door with tears in her eyes from the pain and fear she was feeling. As soon as Angel opened the door, she fell into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Angel hugged her close to him, trying to comfort her, thinking that she was crying because she would miss him and didn't want him to leave. "It'll be alright, soon," he whispered in her ear. "It hurts," Buffy sobbed. "I know, I know," he replied and kissed the top of her head. "The pain-" Buffy began. "Shhh..It'll all go away- it may take awhile- but soon, things will be alright," he promised her. "It-feels- like a thousand knives are stabbing into my neck- all at once," she told him. "Your...neck?" Angel asked hoping she wasn't referring to what he thought she was. "What are you talking about? I thought-" he began. Buffy pulled away, shaking her head, exposing the two red fang marks on her neck to him. Angel looked at the marks and growled. "Who did this to you?" he asked in anger. "I don't know. Just some- random vampire I guess," she told him. "How did it happen?" Angel asked. "Well, I was out on slay patrol and I guess I was a little..sidetracked and didn't notice that he was behind me. So he snuck up on me and attacked. It wasn't until he already had his fangs in my neck that I was able to fight back," Buffy explained. "Did you kill him?" Angel asked. Buffy nodded. "Yeah- dusted him off right away," she answered. Angel sighed, putting his head down. "What? Was I not supposed to kill him?" she asked, confused. Angel just stood there with his head down trying to figure out what to do. "Angel? You're scaring me. What gives here?" Buffy asked. Angel lifted his head to look at her. "Sorry- I ,uh- I was just worried. You shouldn't have," he began. "Killed him. I shouldn't have killed him," Buffy finished for him. Angel nodded. "But I didn't know- I thought vampires- except you, of course- were the bad guys and that I was supposed to kill them. I was scared- I didn't know what to do," she explained. "i know- It's not your fault. It's just- he could've been useful in getting you better," Angel told her. "How?" Buffy asked. "Well, as strange at it may sound, he didn't drain enough blood out of you to complete the process of healing- if he did, you'd be unconcous, so if he was still around we'd have to lure him into draining the slightest bit more out of you. Then, we'd have cut his neck and make him bleed and you'd have to drink the blood from his neck until you were strong again," he explained. Buffy was confused. "Uh, Angel- I could be wrong here but doesn't drinking a vampire's blood after he drank yours make you become a vampire?" she asked. "In most cases, yes, but not in this one. Since your the slayer it doesn't work the same for you," he told her. "How come?" Buffy asked. "Well, since your the slayer, you can drink the blood from the same spot that you were bitten in and not become a vampire," Angel explained. "Oh..ok..*ow* Whatever needs to be done to treat this, could we do it now?" Buffy asked in pain. "That's the thing, Buffy. Without that vampire, I don't know of any other way of treating it," he told her. "*Ow* Well, do I need *that* vampire? I mean, can't I just get any old vamp and suck the blood from that one's neck in stead? *Ow*" Buffy was able to get out. Angel shook his head. "It has to be the same one that bit you, otherwise it won't work," he told her. "Oh..great. So what do I do? I can't go to a hospital because they'll have to call my mom and she's out of town- I don't want her worrying or anything," Buffy said holding the spot on her neck again. "Let me look at it," Angel said. Buffy nodded and took her hand off the fang marks. Angel reached out his hand to touch it, then pulled back, almost instantly, and turned his head the other way with a growl. "Angel?" Buffy called. "You need to get help..now. Go find Giles or someone," he told her. "Aren't you gonna come? I mean, even though that vampire only got a little out of me, I'm still a little weak. What if another vampire comes along- I won't have the strength to fight it and-" "I can't," Angel answered with a growl, still turned the other way. Buffy walked around him so that she could face him. She realized that he was in his "game" face. "Oh. I get it. You can't look at me, can you? 'Cause when you do, all you see is the two red marks on my neck," she said. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I want to help you but..the temptation- it's just too great," Angel told her. "It's ok. I understand," Buffy said, with a hint of hurt in her voice. Angel noticed this and wanted to show her that he cared about her and loved her- even though they were no longer together. He stepped closer to her, placing a hand on the side of her neck without the fang marks. Angel bent his head down toward her neck. Fear overwhelmed Buffy as Angel's mouth neared the fang marks on her neck. After all, Angel was in his "vampire mode" But the fear and pain washed away, and was replaced with pleasure as Buffy felt Angel's soft, sensual lips, instead of fangs, pressed against the cut. Angel did not pull his lips away right way. He let them linger there for some seconds. As they did, Buffy closed her eyes and let her head tilt back slightly, exposing her neck to his lips and letting the pleasure take over her. Seeing Buffy's reaction to this, and how much pleasure this was giving her, he drew his lips away for merely a second, and kissed her there again. "Angel," Buffy sighed with pleasure. Angel was fighting so hard to control the demon inside him, so that he would not bite her. But the temptation was becoming to great, so he pulled his lips away from her neck. Buffy opened her eyes to find him staring at her. "Better?" Angel asked, referring to the pain from the bite. Buffy wanted to tell him how incredible it felt to have his lips on her, kissing her, since he hadn't in a while. But she knew that she couldn't. The y could no longer be together and she felt the need to remind him. "Angel, why did you do that? I mean, you know that we can't be together anymore. It'll be to hard to say goodbye if we are," Buffy said. Angel was finally able to gain control and morph back into his normal face again. "I know. I just- wanted to let you know that- whether we're together or not- I care about you, and..love you. And no matter what happens to us Buffy, I'll never stop. Even if..Even if you stake me right now. It hurts me so much to see you in pain and I'd give anything to help you- unless it would risk your life. And right now..it would-So I can't be with you..I'm sorry." Buffy nodded. She understood. But she was curious about something and had to ask him. "Did you wanna bite me just before?" she asked. Angel frowned and put his head down. "I did," he admitted in a sad tone. "But- I was able to control the urge," he told her. Buffy smiled slightly. "Well, I guess I should be greatful for your honesty. But- to answer your question from before..It is..better." Angel looked up at her with a slight smile. Buffy grinned back at him slightly. "Well, maybe I'll just have to do it again," Angel said flirtatiously. Buffy smiled. "Yeah, and maybe if you keep doing it, I'll be completely better." Angel's smile turned to a frown. "If that was all it really would take, I wish I could," he said, a sad tone in his voice again. Buffy's smile disappeared too, when he said this. "Well, I better go to Giles house now," she told him changing the subject. Angel nodded. "I'd go with you but-" "I know..the temptation..I know," Buffy said, understandingly. "Well, I guess this is goodbye then," Angel said, still with a sad tone. Buffy nodded. "Yeah..guess it is." She stared at him a few more seconds. "I'll..I'll see ya," she blurted out, quickly walking to the door. Without giving him the chance to answer her, she opened the door and left. She didn't start crying until she got outside. Once outside, the tears began to pour down her face as she walked to Giles to get help. Angel was left standing there in his apartment, tears rolling down his hace. "Yeah..see ya," he said in a whisper. TO BE CONTINUED _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 13:23:27 -0800 (PST) From: michele v Subject: BUFFYFIC: Our Hearts Will Go On 5/6 TITLE: Our Hearts Will Go On 5/6 AUTHOR: Michele V. EMAIL ADDRESS: glynisgrl@yahoo.com FEEDBACK: Definitely, especially since this is my first fic. SPOILERS: All episodes through "What's My Line 1 & 2," and especially "Angel," in this part. RATING: PG SUMMARY: A Buffy/Angel story with some added Willow/Oz and Xander/Cordelia. Also, Buffy and the gang find out about the return of the Master- in some form. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters except for "The Elgradora" All of the other characters belong to Joss Whedon and the WB. No copywrite infringement intended. NOTE: I wrote this after "What's My Line 2," therefor without knowing that something similar would *sort of* happen in "Surprise" ********** PART 5 THE NEXT DAY(SATURDAY) BUFFY'S HOUSE The door bell rang at the Summers' house and Buffy went to answer it since no one else was home. "Hi, Buffy," Willow greeted her at the door. "Hey, Will," Buffy answered. "Come on in." Willow walked in and Buffy shut the door behind her. "How are you feeling?" Willow asked her friend. Buffy seemed like she was in a daze. "No, Angel hasn't left yet," she answered her friend. "Uh, Buffy, are you alright?" Willow asked concerned. "Fine! Everything's fine! I'm fine, my mom's fine. I'm sure your fine..you are fine, right?" Willow nodded. "Yeah, but I don't think you are." "Don't be silly. I'm fine..great..wonderful. Nothing could be better," Buffy told her. "Are you sure about that Buffy," Willow asked. Buffy nodded. "Yeah! Why?" "Well, you're acting kind of strange. And when I asked you a minute ago how you were you told me that Angel hasn't left yet..That wasn't the question I asked," Willow told her. Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry..Guess I just have some- things on my mind," she explained. "Like, Angel leaving?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded. "Like Angel leaving," she repeated in an answer. "Look, I know this must be hard for you," Willow started, attempting to comfort her friend. Buffy looked at Willow, as if Willow really didn't know how hard it was. Willow sighed. "Ok, maybe I don't really know. I'm just trying to make you feel better- if that's possible," she said. Buffy sighed. "Look, I appreciate your help, I do. But, I really don't think that anything can help. I mean, Angel's leaving. There's nothing that can stop that from happening." Willow stared at Buffy. She knew that Buffy was right- There was nothing that could make Buffy feel any better- There was nothing that could prevent Angel from leaving. Buffy sat on her couch, looking in the other direction. Willow sat next to her. Tears were forming in Buffy's eyes. "It's just so hard...It's so hard..The only thing that makes sense to me is gone," she said. "He hasn't left yet, Buffy. You could still go see him now," Willow said softly. Buffy shook her head. "I can't. We said goodbye already..last night. We, well it wasn't exactly goodbye..I kinda just left and said bye," Buffy told her. "What happened? I mean, I expected you guys to go through that whole mushy goodbye thing," Willow said. "Definitely no mushy goodbye...He just told me that I had to go get help with the vampire bite and I said ok and just kinda said see you to him and walked out the door" she told Willow. "And I can't go back there to see him, it'll just make it harder for us both. I think that despite my feeling awful about ending like that, maybe there's still the chance that it'll work out easier," Buffy explained. "Well, is it working so far? Do you think it's easier?" Willow asker her. "No, I think I may have made it harder. I'll probably never forgive myself for not saying goodbye the right way, but, I guess I'll just have to give it time.," Buffy answered. There was a knock at the door. "Oh, I'll get it," Willow told her, getting up. "It's probably just Oz. He's been waiting out in his van for me," she said. "Oz?" Buffy asked. "Yeah..we're going on our first date tonight" Willow said. "Oh. Where to?" Buffy asked. "The Bronze," Willow answered. "The Bronze? That sounds romantic and quite..have fun," Buffy said sarcastically. Willow opened the door. "Hey, Oz. Come on in," she said motioning inside. "Shouldn't we get going?" he asked as she closed the door behind him. "Uh, yeah. Hey, Buffy- Do you wanna- come?" she asked her friend. "Xander's gonna be there too..uh, with Cordelia, but still there." "Nah. I think I'll stay in tonight. Besides, you two are going on a date, I don't wanna impose or anything," Buffy said. "Oh, no. You won't be imposing. We want you to come..Don't we Oz?" "Sure. It'll kinda break that first date tension having someone else around," Oz answered with a grin. "I don't know..I won't be much for company," she said. "Sure you will Buffy. You always are," Willow said. "Well, Angel has never left town for good before," Buffy reminded her. "Oh...yeah. But, I mean it's Saturday night. What else are you going to do besides stay home and wish Angel wasn't leaving," Willow pointed out. Buffy thought for a minute. "Ok..I'll come. I- just have to get something upstairs. I'll be down in a few minutes. You guys can wait outside," she said. "Ok..great," Willow said smiling. Buffy smiled back and ran upstairs. ******** GILE'S HOUSE Gile's was reading one of the Watcher diaries when he heard a knock on his door. He got up to answer it. He was surprised at who stood in front of it. "Oh..he..hello, Angel....Uh, why don't you come in?" he said, motioning him to come inside. Angel nodded. "Thanks." "Have a seat," Giles said pointing over to the couch. Angel nodded and sat down. "So..What brings you here?" Giles asked concerned. "The book on the Elgradora..I was able to get it for you. I thought- you'd be at the school library but you weren't..so I cam here to give it to you," Angel explained. He held out the book in his hands, giving it to Giles. Giles took it and looked down at it for a moment. He then began flipping through the pages. "It's somewhere in the fourth chapter," Angel told him. Giles flipped to Chapter four and scanned it for information. "Oh..yes, here it is..Well, Thank you very much. This will indeed be helpful in protecting Buffy-and- us all. Thank you," he said. "No problem," Angel said. His face saddened at the thought that he wouldn't be there anymore to protect Buffy as he always did before. "Is...she alright?" Angel asked suddenly. "Who? Buffy?" Giles asked. "Yeah. She was bitten by a vampire last night and I told her to go see you. Is she alright?" Angel asked, concerned. "Yes. Sh-she's fine," Giles assured him. There was a long silence. "Buffy-told me that you're leaving Sunnydale," Giles said, trying to make conversation. "I am..I'm leaving tonight," he told Giles. "Yes-I know. Buffy-is- very upset. She's going to miss you quite a bit, I suppose,"Giles told him. Angel nodded. "I know..I'm going to miss her too," he said in a sad tone. "When I got my soul back, I never thought that I'd be able to love anyone again. I thought..no human could ever love me because I'm not human and no vampire could ever love me and I could never love them because I'm not like them anymore..But then I met Buffy..and I fell in love with her..She- fell in love with me. And I was the happiest I'd ever been in all my life..because I felt-almost human again..I felt loved. There was still loneliness, still pain..but there was love..the greatest thing that could ever happen to me..and Buffy gave it to me. And now- it's all being taken away. I have to leave..." he "I'm terribly sorry that things can't work out for the two of you, Angel. And- I mean that. I know, I've said in the past that a vampire and a slayer could never belong together. But when I saw the extraordinary love that you have for Buffy and the extraordinary love that Buffy has for you...Well, I realized that you two were meant to be together" Giles told him. There was a short silence. "I should- probably thank you, as Buffy's watcher, for allowing us to be together," Angel said. "Well, as I said, I recognized that nothing could keep true lovers apart, and you two- are, in a sense, true lovers. I wasn't about to attempt to tear that apart," Giles explained. "But this does," Angel said, a sad tone in his voice. "Well, yes, I suppose it will.. But- even while the two of you are apart, I know- that you're love for each other will remain..perhaps forever" Giles said. "Angel," Giles began, curious,"Have you told Buffy what you just told me- about how you never thought you could love anyone until you met her?" he asked. "I've told her..many times," Angel told him. "Well did you tell her last night- before the two of you said goodbye?" Giles continued. Angel shook his head. "I didn't..I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to her. She was gone before I could say anything," Angel explained. He paused for a second. "Do you..think- you could tell her that I said goodbye..and..that- I love her?" he asked. Giles nodded. "I could..But- I know Buffy very well, and I know that she'd much rather hear you say that to her then, well me, of course," Giles told him. Angel shook his head. "Buffy said goodbye already. She doesn't want to see me again. It'll be to hard for her." "I'm afraid that Buffy is trying to talk herself into not seeing you again. She's afraid..of how she'll act when she sees you leaving her. But, I think what will be harder for her, is when she realizes that she should've said goodbye to you- the right way. And then it'll be too late," Giles said. He paused. "But, I'll tell her for you if that's what you'd like." Angel just stared at him. "I better go," he said after a few seconds,"My train leaves soon." He stood up and walked towards the door. "Very well," Giles said, following him and opening the door for him. "Goodbye," Angel said looking at Giles. "Goodbye, Angel," Giles replied. Angel turned and walked out the door. "Angel," Giles called as he watched Angel walk out into the street. Angel turned around. "You've..been of much help to- us all..over the course of the years we've known you..very much help. And I..thank you for that," Giles said. Angel nodded and turned back around and walked away. Giles watched him walk away. "Poor Buffy," he thought. "I hope he makes the right descision." ****** THE BRONZE While Willow and Oz were dancing, Willow looked over into a dark corner of the Bronze and spotted someone standing alone in the shadows. "Hey, Oz. Can you excuse me for a few minutes? I have to go to the DJ stand to- request a song," Willow told Oz. "Oh, sure. I'll just wait here for you," Oz said. "Ok, I'll be back in a little while," Willow said, then turned and walked over to where Xander and Cordelia were making out. Willow tapped Xander on the shoulder. "Uh, excuse me, Xander- There's something we need to go do," she told him. "Yeah, there is. *You* need to go back on the dance floor and dance with Oz, and *I* need to continue making out with Cordelia," Xander answered. "I'm sorry- I- interrupted your little..thing, but- this is more important," Willow explained. "Right now, nothing could be more important then Cordelia's lips against my lips- or maybe other body parts," Xander told her. Cordelia and Xander started kissing again. "But..it's about Buffy!" Willow told him. Xander broke away from Cordelia. "Well, maybe that." He looked at Cordelia. "Cordy, don't move. I'll be right back..My lips'll miss you- yours," he told her. "Ew! You're leaving me for her! Listen, Xander, If you think you've got me wrapped around your fingers, you're wrong! Ok, cause there's plenty of guys that are dying to go out with me- and some that I'd much rather go out with- and a few of them are here right now, So if I-" Cordelia began shouting at him. Xander grabbed the back of her head and passionately kissed her. "You better hurry up. Wouldn't want one of those stupid single losers to think I'm not with anyone," Cordelia said, changing her mind. Xander turned to a surprised Willow. "These babies are magical," he said pointing to his lips. Willow managed to smile slightly. "So, what's this we have to do for Buffy?" Xander asked following Willow. "Just follow my lead," Willow told him as they headed towards the DJ stand. Willow whispered a request of a song in the DJ's ear, who agreed to play it. "Will, you mind letting me in on the big secret?" Xander asked. Willow nodded. "Well, remember the night.." Willow started and proceeded to tell Xander her plan. Xander looked over at a dark figure in the corner of the Bronze, then looked at a lonely Buffy. "For Buffy's sake, I hope this works," Xander said. Willow nodded. "Me too.. Come on. let's go," she said. The two of them walked over to where Buffy sat. "Hi," Willow said to Buffy. Buffy looked up at the two of them. "Oh, hey guys," she answered. There was a long silence as Willow waited for the right moment to begin talking again. Finally, a new song began playing- the one that Willow had requested. Willow was relieved- her plan was working so far. The words to the song came on. *It's daybreak And you are asleep I can hear you breathe now Your breath is deep* "So, no word from Angel?" Willow asked Buffy, on cue. Buffy looked at Willow, confused. "What are you talking about, Will? Angel and I said goodbye already- last night- maybe it wasn't the best goodbye, but it was goodbye..I thought I told you," she said. Willow just ignored Buffy's question and comments. It did seem a little awkward saying this to her but it was part of her plan. Willow waited a few seconds, then continued. "Well, in a way he sort of is, in the way of that he's right over there," she said motioning to a dark figure in a corner of the Bronze. Buffy, looked at Willow, then at Xander, still quite confused. She then looked over at the figure Willow had pointed out. The person was looking in her direction. It was Angel. Buffy then realized that the things that Willow had just said to her-that weren't making a bit of sense- were the things that Willow said to her the night that Buffy and Angel said their first goodbye to each other, in a way. Buffy played their conversation from that night back in her head. *"So, no word from Angel?" Willow had asked Buffy. "Nah. It's weird, though. In this way, I feel like he's still watching me," Buffy told her. "Well, in a way he sort of is," Willow said, "In the way of that he's right over there," Willow said pointing to a dark figure that was staring in Buffy's direction..Angel.* Even the song that was playing right then- "I'll Remember You," by Sophie Zelmani- that was the same song that was playing that night too- Although, Willow had set it up that way. *But before I go I look at you one last time I can heat a heartbeat Is it yours or is it mine?* Buffy looked back at her two best friends. Xander motioned his head in Angel's direction, signaling her to go over to him. Buffy looked over at Willow, then back at Xander. She was hesitant about going over to him, afraid that it would be too hard to say goodbye. But then she gave her friends a smile, a silent thank you and turned and began slowly approaching Angel. Xander turned to Willow. Willow had a grin on her face as she watched Buffy and Angel approach each other. She was happy that her planned had worked out- bringing Buffy and Angel together to say goodbye that way they should have the night before. She knew it would make Buffy happier- although maybe just the slightest bit. "So, guess this is my cue to say ,'I don't need to watch because I'm not threatened. I'm just gonna look this way,'" Xander said grinning. Willow smiled. The two of them watched as Buffy and Angel approached each other. When they met, towards the center of the Bronze, Buffy looked up at Angel, greeting him with a smile. Angel just stared down at her, a sad look on his face. *I look at your lips I know how soft they can be Did they know what they wanted the times they kissed me?" Angel finally spoke. "I couldn't leave here without saying a proper goodbye to you," he told Buffy. Buffy just looked up at him and nodded slightly. Angel sighed. "I need to know that you're going to be alright...I know, that it's going to take awhile, but I need to know that, in time...you'll move on..find someone else to love... Someone you can start a family with..someone you can grow old, and die with," Angel told her. He continued. "Someone you can watch the sunset with, before you go to bed at night..and- watch it rise with when you walk up in the morning...'Cause you deserve that, Buffy..you do. And I- need you to promise that you'll do that,Buffy...for me." Buffy's eyes held unshed tears as she stared up at him. She shook her head slightly. "I don't know if I can do that, Angel..I can't-just- forget you and move on. You're too much a part of me. I'm sorry, but- I can't make that promise," she told him. "Look, I know it all seems too hard right now- but I need to know that you'll try, at least," he said. "Do that for me, Buffy?" he asked. Buffy looked at him for a few seconds, then nodded. "I will..try, I mean." Angel gave her a slight smile. He felt slightly better knowing that she'd one day be happy again. "I have something for you," Angel told her, reaching into his pocket. "It's not much, really- but it's, a goodbye present." He held a velvet jewelry box in his hands. Buffy looked down at it in his hands. *And your hands that I held in mine Now they're reposing on the pillow Will they ever miss me some time?* She looked up at Angel. Finally, he handed her the box. "Don't open it, just now," Angel told her. "Wait- until I'm gone..When you really need to- when the pain is too much- open it then," he told her. Buffy nodded. "I, um, actually, have something for you, too. I was- gonna leave it by your door but- well, you're here now," she said. Buffy reached into her pocket and pulled out a small velvet pouch bag and handed it to him. "There's just a little something in there to remember me by..in case you forget," she told him. Angel shook his head. "I won't ever forget you, Buffy..I won't," he swore to her. Buffy knew that he meant it. She'd never forget him either. Ever. He'd always be in her heart, just as she'd always be in his. *I'll remember you You will be there in my heart I'll remember you And that is all that I can do But I'll remember* Buffy remembered that she had something else for him. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a cassette tape. "This is for you, too. It's- a tape of this song-that- kinda reflects the way I feel bout you leaving..You can- play it while you open the bag-or, whenever. I know I don't know your musical taste but- I just had to give it you. The song just- seems like it was written for us," Buffy told him. Angel nodded and placed the two items in his pocket. He looked back down at Buffy. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Buffy could tell that Angel had something on his mind. She knew it was probably the fact that he was leaving and they'd no longer be together, but she had to ask anyway. "Is there- something else on your mind?" she asked him softly. "It's nothing- It's just *this*... It's just so-," Angel began. Buffy knew what he was going to say. "Painful," she said, finishing his sentence for him. "I know." "I wish things could be different, Buffy," he told her. Buffy nodded. "I know," she agreed. "Me too." Buffy shrugged slightly. "Well, it's getting kind of late. You should probably go now, or- you'll miss your train," she told him. As much as Buffy hated having to say that, it was the truth. Angel nodded. "I know," he whispered. Buffy stared up at him. Angel leaned down towards her face slightly. Buffy just stared into his eyes. He leaned forward a few more inches until his lips met hers for a soft kiss. The power between the two of them brought their lips together again, as they kissed again. Buffy closed her eyes, wrapped up in the moment, as Angel did the same. *Your eyes that always make me shiver Now they are closed They just sometimes twitch a little* As Angel's arms wrapped tightly around her, Buffy moved her hand to Angel's face and brought her other arm around his neck, deepening their kiss. As they shared this passionate kiss goodbye, Buffy was reminded of the first time they kissed goodbye- when they first decided that they shouldn't be together. Their conversation just a minute ago was even similar to the one they had that night. *"I just wanted to see if you were ok, and your mother," Angel said when they finally reached each other. "We're both good..you?" Buffy asked. "If I can go a little while without being shot or stabbed, I'll be alright," he answered with a slight chuckle. He became more serious. "Look, this can't.." he started. "Ever-be anything" Buffy finished, "I know. For one thing your like two hundred and twenty four years older then I am," she said with a smile. "I just gotta..I gotta walked away from this," Angel told her. Buffy nodded. "I know, me too....One of us has to go here," she said. Angel nodded slightly. "I know," he said in a whisper, then leaned in and kissed her.* Their kiss was even during the same song-although, again, Willow had arranged that. But Buffy knew that this would be their last kiss goodbye. And unlike the previous time, this one was goodbye forever. Buffy held on tighter to Angel as they kissed, not wanting to ever let go. Savoring the feel of his body close to hers for the last time. *And your body I could hold for an hour It sent me to heaven With it's heat and power* Slowly, Buffy and Angel pulled apart, looking deeply into each other's eyes as they did so. Tears were in both of their eyes. As soon as Angel saw Buffy's face filled with tears, he pulled her back into his embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around her tiny body, hugging her close to him. Angel stroked the back of her hair as he held her. After a few seconds, they pulled away again. "I have to go now," Angel told Buffy softly. "Ok," she said trying not to make it any harder for them. She tried to hold back the tears from pouring down her face again, but one had already slipped out of her eye. Then another, then another. Angel moved his hand to her cheeks and wiped some of the tears from her eyes. Buffy grabbed his hand and held it against her cheek. She closed her eyes a she took in the feel of his touch for the last time. Then she guided his hand down to her lips and kissed the back of it. Angel closed his own eyes as she did this. Slowly, Buffy moved his hand down to rest beneath her chin. Tears were forming in Angel's eyes again. He was wishing more then ever that he wasn't a vampire- so that none of this would have to happen. So that he wouldn't have to leave the girl that he loved more then anything in the world. "Please don't go, Angel. Please. I can't do this without you..I can't- live without you, Angel. Please don't leave me," Buffy pleaded with him as tears ran down her pale cheeks. She knew that she was being unfair to him saying this, but she couldn't help but say how she felt at that moment. Angel's eyes flooded with tears. He would have done anything for Buffy. Anything, He'd give the world to her- if she asked for it. But staying in Sunnydale was one thing he could not d o for her. He would not put her in danger of Spike's attempts at using him to restore Druscilla or trying to make him a normal vampire again. Angel placed his gentle hand back to rest on the side of Buffy's face. He caressed her cheek lightly. Tears continued to roll down both of their cheeks. "Buffy, when I got my soul back, I never once thought that I'd be able to love again or that anyone could ever love me..But..when I met you, things changed..I fell in love with you, you were able to fall in love with me. And I- was the happiest I'd ever been in all my life-because you made me feel complete- you made me feel, almost- human..because you made me feel loved. Of course, there was still loneliness, still pain, but there was love too- The love I had for you and the love you had for me. And it was the greatest thing that could ever happen to me-you gave me the greatest thing the greatest gift off all..your love, your heart. And I thank you for that, Buffy. I'd love to give something more then just my love-and my heart for you- in return, but staying here..I can't do. You know that, Buffy..You know that if it were in any way possible to stay here with you, I would..But I can't, with this," Angel told her. He continued. "You mean the world to me Buffy. And I'll never stop missing you, never stop loving you..Your eyes, your hair, your lips, your warmth, your smile, your touch..I'll never stop," he told her. Buffy stared at him with tears rolling down her cheeks. Angel pulled her close to him again, giving her one last, soft kiss on her lips. It didn't last as long as the previous one, but it was still magical. Angel pulled away from her slowly. He looked at her for a few more seconds. "Goodbye, Buffy," he said, softly. Buffy tried to say something but words couldn't escape her mouth, only sobs. She just stood there looking at him with tears pouring out of her eyes. Angel looked at her for one more moment, then turned and headed towards the exit of the Bronze. Buffy watched him walk away from her. "Angel..don't go," Buffy whispered, mainly to herself, in tears. Angel passed where Willow and Xander were standing. They, too, watched as he headed towards the door. Xander shook his head in disgust, then turned towards Willow. "He walks right past us, knowing that he'll never again see our faces, and he doesn't even say goodbye?!? The nerve of some vampires!" he said. Willow shrugged. "He said goodbye to me...He- came by my house the other night- and- said goodbye," Willow told him. Xander shook his head again. Just before reaching the door, Angel paused. He turned to look back at Buffy one last time. He'd never see her beautiful face again. "I love you," he whispered to her, then turned and walked out of the bronze. Buffy wiped some of the tears from her eyes, only to have more pour from them again. "Goodbye, Angel" she whispered in between sobs, "I love you too," she said staring at the now empty space in front of the door, as the song that was playing ended. *I'll remember you You will be there in my heart I'll remember you And that is all that I can do But I'll remember* TO BE CONTINUED _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? 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