From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (Buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: Buffyfic-digest V2 #88 Reply-To: buffyfic@xmission.com Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk Buffyfic-digest Wednesday, April 1 1998 Volume 02 : Number 088 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: That Was the Day 1/2 Fwd: BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe buffyfic-digest See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 08:31:21 EST From: Trey Cash Subject: BUFFYFIC: That Was the Day 1/2 I know I posted this about a month ago but I figured since it's April Fool's based..it wouldn't hurt to make an secondary performance. Title:That Was The Day 1/2 Author: Alex Queirolo e-mail: treycash@Aol.com Distribution: Yep..sure..just ask... Rating: PG-13..general good spirited mean-ness Summary: A comedic little ditty about certain dates of the year, pink rabbits and revenge. Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever else… No copyright infringement intended. Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever! *** AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place after my story "I Will Survive" and therefore adheres to the events of that piece. It also takes place before "The End of the Innocence".In the Buffy scheme of things, it takes place after "Phases" but then promptly procedes to split off from the time-stream that is Joss Whedon's. It makes the assumptions that Cordelia and Xander are still together as are Oz and Willow and that through time, Buffy and Angel can begin to rebuild their relationship. Time-wise, it takes place around Easter which would be a couple months after the events of the previously mentioned story. CONTENT WARNING: This should contain nothing that is too objectionable except for the fact that I'm trying humor instead of angst. That could be traumatic for all involved. Actual contents include brief sexual situations, a tad bit of language, a slight smidgen of angst(I tried..honestly I did but I couldn't get away from it completely) and a whole lot of insanity. So damn the man and rock and roll. DISCLAIMER: The characters seen on the show BUFFY belong to Joss "Da Man" Whedon. He is my yoda and such. Any that I create belong to me and I am their god. Ya dig? I mean no infringement, just pointless lunacy. The title of this piece is taken off of the THREESOME album and is by THE THE. The musical quote is by BIRDBRAIN and is lifted from the original SCREAM album. Have fun. *** "Say a prayer for the youth of America God bless our youth America" "Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny-suit 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this..." -Buffy to Giles, Xander and Willow in "The Puppet Show" *** Her eyes widened in un-natural horror and she stumbled backwards several feet before slamming up against a wall. She grunted in slight discomfort and found that she was unable to tear herself away from him. "No," she whispered with tears forming in her eyes. "I don't believe it." He lifted his hands towards her, trying desperately to indicate the good nature of his intentions and then he sighed dejectedly, "It's not that bad." "Um, no..it's not *that* bad." Willow Rosenberg said weakly, looking up at her blonde haired friend who was still pinned to the wall in wide-eyed shock. Willow covered her mouth with one hand to stifle a laugh that seeped through the cracks and came out as a cackle. He turned to glare at her and she lifted her other hand towards the Slayer, "She made me laugh." Alexander "Xander" Harris turned and looked at Buffy Summers with such a pained puppy-dog look that when he asked, "Is it that bad, Buffy?", she almost lied. Almost. "It's pretty hideous, Xand. Well, I guess the upside..if you can find one through all that hair...is that now you know better than to make a bet with Cordelia." Then she shook her head and grinned as she pushed herself away from her bedroom wall. "Wow, Xander..that's bad." She walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "But don't worry..we still...love ...you...whatever you are." He gave her a mock thankful look and turned to Willow for encouragement. She stiffled back a laugh and said, "Yeah and you can still hang with us at the Bronze." "You're not going to the Bronze tonight," Xander replied with a sigh. "Wow," Buffy said with a laugh, "He's right." Then she stuck out her lower lip at him. Only she wasn't trying to get anything from him; she was attempting to assure him of the sincerity of her sympathy for him. The giggles that kept creeping through weren't helping her case. "You know this is your fault," he told them accusingly. "I wouldn't be..like this...if it weren't for you two." The two girls looked at each other wearing matching expressions of innocent denial and then proceded to ruin it by cracking up. Buffy fell to her bed clutching her sides as she laughed and everytime Willow looked up at Xander, another peel of mirth escaped between her fingers as she tried desperately to cover her mouth. "Yeah, yeah..laugh it up but I'm blaming the two of you for any psychological damage this..this...does to me." He pointed down at himself and then shook his head in disgust. Buffy crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him,"Aw..it's okay..we'll visit you in loony bin..." "Yeah," Willow chirped, "We'll bring carrots." That was all it took for Buffy to lose it again and have to bury her head against Xanders' shoulder as she held on to him for fear of falling over from laughing. Then she looked up at him and said, "Hey..you did this to yourself, Xand..you're the one who was stupid enough to make a bet with Cordelia. You had to know she'd hold you to it." "Whatever," he grumped, sitting on her bed. "You got a brush I can borrow? My fur is getting all tangled up." Buffy pursed her lips and then reached over and removed a brush from the desk. Xander took it and moaned as he started to brush himself out, "Oh man..how did I get myself into this mess?" *** "Ow! Dammit! Ow!" Xander cried, slumping back into the drivers' seat of the Lincoln. He growled and stared at the steering wheel. "Damn, damn, damn." "What's wrong now?" she asked, sighing in annoyance. "Is your shoe untied?" She shook her head. "No," he replied tersely,"The steering wheel was biting into my hip because you move too much." "I move too much. Oh that's great. Last time it was your nails are too sharp. I don't think you wanna..." He leaned forward and kissed her before she could finish the sentence. Then he gave her a look that said "see" and grinned. "We gotta go meet Buffy and Willow at the Bronze." "They can wait," she smiled, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pushing him back against the seat. "I promised her..we'd...meet..Buffy..that..is...I promised...Buffy.." Xander protested between kisses. She pushed herself away from him,a look of pure anger on her face, "You can't do it, can you?" "Do it?" Xander exclaimed, wide-eyed. "I didn't know we were doing 'it'..I mean.." "No! No! No! You can't not say their names!" Cordelia cried out, desperately wanting to smack him upside the head. "They have names now? Wow.." "Shut up..shut up..I'm talking about Willow and Buffy!" Xander gave her a confused look, "You named them Buffy and Willow...oh no..oh..oh..I get it..." "Wow...I'm only pushing 80." She blew out a gust of air between her teeth in disgust. "What's with you and them? I know they're your friends.." "And yours," Xander reminded her. "Whatever but hello, I'm your girlfriend...you know..car, kissing...not telling daddy? Ring a bell or are you still only seeing Buffy's name up in lights?" "Hey...that's not fair...you're the one bringing her up now." Xander replied. Then he sighed, "Come on..I don't wanna fight." He leaned forward and kissed her. She pushed him back. "No, uh uh. You're not getting out of it this time, Xander." "Man! Why are you wiggin' so hard on this? Look, I'm sorry..can we kiss now?" Xander exclaimed, leaning forward again. She placed a hand flat on his chest, "No..I'm sick of this...if your mind is on them then it's not on me and if it's not on me then I don't want to be here because this is about me. You understand? Me." "You. Right. Got it. Kiss?" "Not yet, hormones boy. You wanna kiss me, we make a deal." "What kind of deal?" Xander asked wearily. "It's actually more of a..well it's a bet." "A bet? What are the stakes?" She narrowed her eyes at him, "I bet that you can't go an hour without saying Buffy or Willow's names." "You're on." Xander replied with a grin. "Down boy..you may not like the stakes," Cordelia replied with a grin. She traced a hand up his chest to his jawline and then looked him in the eye. "If I win...you have to take my place at the Easter event that daddy's sponsoring at the mall." Xander swallowed hard, "Your place?" "Uh huh. Scared? Don't think you can do it?" Cordelia taunted, the grin becoming predatory. He narrowed his eyes at the challenge, "Okay..alright and if I win..." "Name it," she all but sung. "Hmm...okay...if I win, you have to dress up like Laura Bosley and.." "Ew..she looks like a hobo and her hair..it's disgusting..all ratty..yuck!" Cordelia squeaked indignantly. "I'm not done." He replied with a smirk. "You have to dress and look like Laura plus you have to carry *my* books for me...to *every* class." "Fine," she groaned, sticking out her hand. "Wait a minute..one more thing...you have to walk around school yelling 'Xander is so sexy' as loud as you can for an entire day. Got it?" She looked at him for a long moment, thinking over the odds in her head and then she smiled, "What am I worried about? I don't think you've gone five minutes without saying their names. You are so on." "Yeah." He thrust out his hand and shook hers vigorously. And then he leaned forward and kissed her. The way he worked it, if he kissed her for an entire hour then he won. No talking. Just kissing. Helluva plan. "Xander!" Someone yelled from outside the car. The two of them jerked apart and Xander looked up in shock. And then realization hit him. "Buffy! She's in trouble! Buffy!" He opened the door and was about to get out to look around when Buffy and Willow came racing up to the window. "God, we've been looking everywhere for you two." Then she frowned, "Oh, sorry about interrupting and all.." Buffy said quickly. "Not at all. What can we do for you, Buffy?" Cordelia chirped. Buffy gave her a strange look and then blew it off. "We wanted to tell you guys that we wouldn't be meeting you at the Bronze. We're gonna go catch Grease down at the park. You wanna come with?" "We'd love to. After all, I've got to celebrate winning a bet." Cordelia said with a smile. Xanders' eyes widened, "Oh no...that doesn't..oh man...oh man.." He looked up at Buffy and then whimpered, "I'm gonna kill you." *** "Stop crying so much, Xander...you're gonna cause your fur to tangle even more than it is," Willow ordered as she ran the brush through the bright pink hair. Buffy laughed and turned away from them. "I'm gonna..go..get something to drink..and a camera." Buffy said with a grin as she retreated out of the room. Five steps out, she practically collapsed against the wall, hysterical with laughter. "Something funny, honey?" Joyce Summers asked as she stepped into the hallway, an oversized suitcase under her arm. "Oh, just the big pink guy on my bed." Buffy replied, trying desperately to keep a straight face and failing miserably. Joyce lifted an eyebrow, "Buffy..be nice to Xander. He's a boy and has a fragile ego." "Mom, he's a big rabbit. If that were me..*you'd* be harassing *me* mercilessly. Admit it." Joyce smiled. "Just remember, he won't be in that suit forever." "I know. Twenty-four hours is long enough." Buffy replied with an evil gleam in her eye. "Buffy, be good. I'll be out of town tonight and tommorow night. I don't want to come home to find pink bunny hair all over my house because you drove Xander to..bunny-a-cide." "Funny, mom." Buffy quipped. She leaned forward and kissed her mom on the cheek. "Have a good time and be careful. You never know what kind of blood- suckers there might be out there." Then she smiled as if she'd just remembered something, "I mean art collectors..you know..bad men with stupid..I'm shutting up now..I love you, mom." "I love you too, Buffy." Joyce replied. "But you are a strange girl." Buffy nodded, "That's me, mom...weirdness girl." Then she rolled her eyes, grabbed the camera off of the table in the hallway and retreated back into her bedroom where Willow was trying to help Xander put on his costumes' head. "Wow, Xand..you are...so hot. Can I sit on your lap?" Buffy asked with a grin. He shot her a dirty look. "That's Santa Claus, Buffy." Willow reminded her. "Hold still, Xander..this is tricky..your ears are too big." "Oh that's great..first I have to wear this ridiculous costume because I tried to be savior boy for the two of you.." "Whatever." Both the girls said at once. Then they looked at each other and giggled. Xander rolled his eyes, "And now I'm taking friendly fire. All I can say is that pay-back is a bitch." "Just as long as you believe that," Buffy replied. Then she broke out into a giant smile, "Hey Xand, do your folks know that their little boy is a cute little bunny rabbit." "That's it, Slayer..you're going down!" Xander yelled as he jumped at her. Had she not been laughing so hard, she would have been able to easily avoid him. As it were, he tackled her to the floor and they began to wrestle. Willow watched with amusement until she saw Xander manage to pin Buffy with one of his rabbit paws. Buffy struggled to push him off but her laughter was causing quite a problem and it didn't help that his costume was difficult to manipulate. With a wicked gleam in her eye, Willow jumped on his back and pulled him off while he cried foul. Buffy rolled out from under him and grabbed at the camera sitting on the chair. "Smile," she chirped as she snapped the picture. Xander howled in indignation and Willow dismounted, grinning cheek to cheek. "Wow, Will..I already know the perfect place at school to put this pic." Xanders' face flushed bright red, "You wouldn't dare..." "Bet me," Buffy said with a laugh. "You be good or I'll tell Giles that you're the one that had him summoned to the faculty room two nights ago because you wanted to come party with us." Xander shot back. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him,"It's not over yet, Thumper" Willow giggled and then cleared her thraot, "Uh guys, I hate to interrupt your little black-mail party but Xander is due at the mall in ten minutes." "Yup, yup," Buffy said, "So ya better hop to it." "You're killing me," he replied dryly. "Really, truly. You're killing me here." *** "Where is he?" Willow asked as she tried to gaze out the doorway towards Cordelia's car. She knew Xander was around there but she sure couldn't see him. "He's hunched down in the seat so that the little kids don't see him. I guess I could have told him that there's a changing room at the mall but that would have taken all the fun out of it." "And it would have been the nice thing to do." "He lost the right to me being nice.. whatever that means..when he lost the bet. He's in my world now." Cordelia grinned. "Oh hey, are you and Buffy gonna meet us down at the mall? I don't think this is something you should miss." "We'll be there. Buffy is up to something. He should be afraid. Very afraid. I don't trust her when she gets that look in her eye and she's still wanting to get him back for giving her that trick ink pen." Cordelia grinned wickedly, "Oh I know what she's up to and it's evil. And I like it. Speaking of Buffy...where is she?" "Oh," Willow said, sombering up, "She's in the bedroom talking to Angel." *** "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, her fingers intertwining with the phone cord. "Better," he replied. "My head's clearer. I..I feel better." "Does that mean you're coming home soon?" Buffy asked with hope slipping into her voice. She hadn't wanted to let him know how much she missed him but that was only slightly impossible. "Buffy.." "Please." She said quickly. There was a long beat of silence and then she added softly, "I want you here." "I know...I know..I just...I don't think we can go back." "I don't want to go back, Angel..I want to go forward..I just want it to be with you." She could almost see him smile and it caused her too. "We'll talk." Angel replied. "Yeah..when you come back...maybe tonight. Afterall...you wouldn't want to miss Xander the Easter Bunny." "Excuse me?" Angel laughed. Buffy smiled, happy to hear his joy, "Oh, it's a pretty funny story." *** "Hey, hey, hey." Buffy called out as she and Willow approached Oz in the mall. He was standing with his back to the glass display window of the music shop on the bottom floor watching the Easter display. Willow and Oz greeted each other with a kiss and Buffy beamed at her friend's apparent joy. It was good to see Will getting what she wanted. Both of her best buds deserved happiness and now they were getting it. "Hey ladies, you're missing all the festivities. Some little kid just asked Xander if the Easter bunny has sex with Mrs. Easter bunny." Oz said with a grin. "What did he say?" Willow asked, laughing as she saw Xander kneel down and talk with some rudy faced little kid who insisted on pulling on Xanders' rabbit whiskers. ""Only when she unlocks him," Oz replied. "Cordelia just about had a fit. It was pretty funny. I was amused." "I would have been." Buffy put in, looking at Willow. The hacker nodded her agreement. "It would have been mirth-worthy." "So, what's this big scheme you got up your sleeve?" Oz asked. "Oh...you'll see," Buffy grinned. Then she looked at Willow, "Hey Will, did you bring the carrots? Xander-Rabbit looks hungry." TBC... - - ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 13:35:57 EST From: LIPS000000 Subject: Fwd: BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe buffyfic-digest This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - --part0_891455757_boundary Content-ID: <0_891455757@inet_out.mail.aol.com.1> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII - --part0_891455757_boundary Content-ID: <0_891455757@inet_out.mail.aol.com.2> Content-type: message/rfc822 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-disposition: inline Return-Path: Received: from relay29.mx.aol.com (relay29.mail.aol.com [172.31.109.29]) by air19.mail.aol.com (v40.16) with SMTP; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 23:47:09 -0500 Received: from lists.xmission.com (lists.xmission.com [198.60.22.7]) by relay29.mx.aol.com (8.8.5/8.8.5/AOL-4.0.0) with SMTP id XAA10546; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 23:46:54 -0500 (EST) Received: from domo by lists.xmission.com with local (Exim 1.82 #1) id 0yKFPf-0007Yv-00; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 21:46:11 -0700 Received: from (mail.xmission.com) [198.60.22.22] by lists.xmission.com with smtp (Exim 1.82 #1) id 0yKFPd-0007Yb-00; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 21:46:09 -0700 Received: from (imo21.mx.aol.com) [198.81.17.65] by mail.xmission.com with esmtp (Exim 1.82 #1) id 0yKFPZ-0003ZL-00; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 21:46:05 -0700 Received: from LIPS000000@aol.com by imo21.mx.aol.com (IMOv13.ems) id DLPPa05947 for ; Tue, 31 Mar 1998 23:45:00 -0500 (EST) From: LIPS000000 Message-ID: <5c41718d.3521c64e@aol.com> Date: Tue, 31 Mar 1998 23:45:00 EST To: buffyfic@xmission.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe buffyfic-digest X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 for Windows 95 sub 52 Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk Reply-To: buffyfic@xmission.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit unsubscribe buffyfic-digest - -------------------- From: LIPS000000 Return-path: To: buffyfic@xmission.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe buffyfic-digest Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 16:20:08 EST Organization: AOL (http://www.aol.com) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit unsubscribe buffyfic-digest - --part0_891455757_boundary-- - - ------------------------------ End of Buffyfic-digest V2 #88 ***************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffyfic to majordomo@xmission.com. 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