From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #106 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Tuesday, April 7 1998 Volume 02 : Number 106 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Hope Part 1 of 43/45 BUFFYFIC: Hope Part 2 of 42/45 See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 07 Apr 1998 15:34:41 PDT From: "Sara Barton" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope Part 1 of 43/45 A: Sara B. T: Hope D: I don't own 'em! Part 43 PG The warm sun danced on Buffy’s face as she opened her eyes to greet the morning. She smiled, returning the cheerful hello. Yawning, she looked over at the small table that stood next to her bed, and saw the two claddagh rings sitting side by side. It was then that she remembered. The harsh reality of the previous nights hit her like a ton of bricks. Her throat tightened up and the tears rushed to her eyes, but she held them back, refusing to cry. Slowly she sat up in her warm bed and felt the soft, cozy green flannel sheets rub against her legs. Buffy propped a pillow up and leaned against it, her head resting against the wall. She looked at her window. Angel’s window, as she liked to call it. The one where he would sit in the night and watch over her as she slept, protecting her, like a guardian Angel. Frowning, she looked away from it, realizing he would never sit on that windowsill again. Glancing over at her mirror, she stared at her unfamiliar reflection. Tired, red, puffy eyes that looked well worn beyond their years, and a pale, sickly complexion. Her parched, dry lips shown of a light pale pink. Her hair hung limply around her face. She grabbed a scrunchie and pulled it back. A soft knock interrupted her thoughts and the comforting face of her mother peeked through the crack in the door. “My I come in?” She asked, hopefully. Buffy nodded. “Of course you can.” Joyce entered her room and slowly sat down on the bed. “How are you this morning?” “It hurts,” she replied simply, the tears that had previously threatened to run down her face emerging. “I know, honey. I’m sorry,” she said, taking her daughters hand. “I can’t believe I lost them both,” she whispered, the pain in her heart growing. Buffy looked up into her eyes. “Did he...I mean...um...Do you.....know---a..about...me?” She asked reluctantly. Joyce gave her a soothing smile. “Yes, I know. Angel told me.” “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you--Giles said that I would be endangering you if I told you I was the Slayer and I wanted to----” “Buffy, Buffy, calm down. I understand. You don’t have to explain,” she said. “I just feel bad about all the times I got mad at you and called you irresponsible when you had the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Buffy shook her head. “It’s okay. You didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to tell you, I really did. It was hard keeping all of that to myself. I’m so sorry. I mean---” Joyce held up her hand, silencing her daughter. “Shhh...” she said. “Like I said, don’t apologize.” Buffy nodded, but guilt still weighed heavily over her. “Let’s not talk about this right now. We’ll have this conversation later. There is still a lot to be worked out. I want to know all about Slayers and vampires.” Buffy smiled weakly. “Well you’d better prepare yourself. There is a LOT to tell.” Joyce gave a small laugh. “Do Xander and Willow know about you?” “Yeah, they’ve know since we moved here,” Buffy said. Her mind flashed to the car accident. “Willow and Cordelia, are they okay?” She asked, worried. “I spoke with Giles earlier this morning. They will be fine. Willow went home last night with a badly sprained wrist, and Cordelia will be released in two weeks. The muscles in her leg need to heal, and she might have to have some physical therapy,” Joyce told her. “And Miss Calendar? Is she okay?” Buffy asked. She nodded. “Yes, she is fine. It was just a mild concussion.” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad they are okay. I was really worried. I should probably go to the library and talk to Giles,” Buffy said, throwing back her covers, attempting to get up. Joyce pushed her back down and put the covers back on her. Buffy gave her a confused look. “Giles said that he will call you later. You need to stay in bed and get your rest. You gave us all a scare last night...” Joyce said, shuddering. She thought back to the moment Buffy died. “You died last night.” “Again,” Buffy uttered, wincing. Joyce opened her eyes wide. “What do you mean, again?” She gulped, feeling her cheeks turn a rosy shade of pink. “I, um, well, kinda sorta died last year. But only for a minute!” She exclaimed. “You died?!” Joyce asked, her heart thudding. “Well, yeah. That will be another thing I will have to explain to you,” Buffy said sheepishly. “Buffy, I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do with you!” Joyce said, smiling despite her uneasiness at the knowledge that Buffy died twice. “Listen, would you like me to get you anything? Juice? Water? Something to eat?” Buffy thought for a moment. “I’ll take my usual.” “Two parts orange, one part grapefruit. I’m on it,” Joyce said, and got up to leave. Buffy pulled her back onto the bed for a hug. Grasping her mother, she felt at that moment an evanescent peace. “I love you, Mom,” she whispered. “I love you too, honey.” After a few moments, Joyce pulled away. “You know I will always be there for you.” “I know.” “I’ll be right back,” she said, and Buffy nodded. Joyce stood up slowly. Walking to the door she glanced back at Buffy, who stared at her window. The distant look in her sorrowful eyes broke Joyce’s heart. Closing the door behind her, she inwardly sighed. < So much pain for someone so young. I hope she will be able to get over this > ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 07 Apr 1998 15:31:19 PDT From: "Sara Barton" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope Part 2 of 42/45 2/42/45 “Buffy?” A weak voice asked. She spun around to look at Angel’s teary eyes. Scrambling over to him, she could see the beautiful soul that had once been gone. Buffy choked back her sob, and she embraced Angel. “You’re back,” she whispered. “Buffy, I love you. Don’t ever forget that,” he said, clutching his chest. Buffy pulled back and looked at him. “I won’t. I love you with all of my heart.” She stared into his eyes, and saw sadness behind the pools of tears. “What’s wrong?” Angel trembled, and held up his head. Opening his palm, he revealed their claddagh rings. “My ring!” Buffy exclaimed, a look of joy on her face. Angel gazed into Buffy’s eyes, and his crimson lips turned into a small smile. Her took her hand and slipped it onto her finger. Angel pulled away, and put his ring into her hand. “I want to you have this,” he said, his face full of grief. “Buffy.....I’m dying,” he uttered. Shocked, she stared at him in disbelief. “What do you mean?” Angel broke down and cried. “I love you with all of my heart. I’m sorry for everything I did. I never deserved you’re love. I did so many horrible things in my life, and you forgave me for all of them.” “Angel,” Buffy bawled, her voice racked with sobs. “You’re not going to die.” He kissed her hand, and her lips gently. “You have to promise me something,” he said. “Anything,” she whispered, her tears falling onto his chest. “Don’t ever forget my love for you. You have been what has kept me alive. You were my reason to live,” he whispered, his voice growing weaker by each word. “Live the life you want to live. I want you to promise me you will move on.” His deep soulful eyes pleaded with hers. “Promise me, Buffy.” Angel winced as an excruciating pain shot through him, his body shuddering. She nodded her head. “I promise.” “Please don’t ever forget me,” he said, his voice rasping. “Don’t leave me, Angel,” Buffy sobbed. She leaned in and kissed him passionately, holding on to him as tightly as she could, afraid to let go. Angel leaned his head back onto the ground, slowly closing his eyes. Feeling her teardrops on his eyelids, he opened them slightly, and murmured, “I love you,” before he drifted off into an endless sleep. Buffy leaned her head down, lightly brushing her lips against his. She leaned back, staring at his lifeless body. The silence that hung over the lair was heavy with anguished sorrow as Angel’s body turned to dust. Buffy collapsed with sobs, digging her fingernails into the soft earth where his ashes lay. She sobbed but no more tears came. Joyce slowly walked to her daughters heaving body. She gently pulled Buffy to her feet and hugged her tightly, softly stroking her hair. She knew that in no way could she comfort her right now. “Oh Mom, I lost them both,” she cried into Joyce’s shoulder. Xander stood up, Hope’s body in his arms. He took a deep breath, holding in his anguish. He gazed down into Hope’s pale face, noticing how beautiful she was. Her hair a golden yellow, her lips the color of a pink rose in bloom, her long, black eyelashes covering her sparkling emerald eyes. He felt his lip quivering, no longer able to hold in the tears which now heartily flowed from his mahogany brown eyes. Buffy watched him over her mother’s shoulder. She had never seen Xander display this kind of emotion, but was not surprised by his sadness. He looked up and saw her staring at him. His heart broke into a million pieces seeing her in grief. Their eyes stayed locked together, mentally comforting one another. If he could, Xander would take her pain away, until she was happy again. Until her face bore that radiant smile and those sparkling eyes that it usually did. Staring into his eyes, Buffy felt a momentary solace in his presence. She managed a weak smile, which he readily returned. Xander felt Hope become suddenly light in his eyes and stared down at the body in his arms, gaping in shock. “Oh my.....” his voice trailed off, unable to continue speaking. Hope’s body began to disappear, slowly fading away. They watched she became transparent, her body becoming almost crystalline. A soft, white glow penetrated from her as she became hazy. A bright light broke from within her, blinding Xander. At that moment, she vanished from his arms. Xander looked at his arms, not believing what he just saw. “Where did she go?” He asked, confusion and shock chiseling his face. He looked at Giles, who was speechless. “I...I don’t know,” he said calmly, trying to think of any possible explanation, but none came to mind. “That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen.” Buffy shuddered, realizing how cold she was. Her mother held her tightly, and looked at Giles. “I think we should get out of here,” she said, not letting go of her sorrowful daughter. Giles nodded slightly, and slowly the four friends walked out of the lair. Before Buffy walked through the door, she looked back at the place where Angel died, taking in his lingering scent that filled the hollow caverns of the Hellmouth. Her heart tore into two pieces as her mother urged her to leave. “I’ll never forget,” she whispered into the air. Buffy reluctantly turned her head to face Xander’s outstretched hand. She grasped it tightly, and he lead her out into the night. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - - ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #106 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. 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