From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #195 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Monday, May 18 1998 Volume 02 : Number 195 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (4/?) BUFFYFIC: poem: Sonnet for B. S. from R. G. BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. G. Admin/Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. G. BUFFYFIC: Revelations (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 15:38:03 PDT From: "Black Fire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (4/?) Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Summary: Angelus is being visited by some disturbing nightmares. Feedback: If you wish Rating: PG I hope. But there could be a lot of language and violence in the works. I'm not sure yet. Disclaimer: I make no claims to Angelus or any other Buffy characters that may appear in this story. I also make no claims to any of the literary, film or theatrical references made here. Mazes of the Mind 4 Angelus woke up screaming. He could still feel the vice-like grip around his neck. As he tried to remind himself that he didn't really need air, he looked around to find out where he was this time. The Garden. He was back in Dru's Garden. He heaved an airless sigh of relief and got to his feet... Or tried to, at least. He found that he was pinned to the ground by an invisible weight. "What the...?" he said as he tried to move. All that answered him was a manical laughter that sounded suspiciously like his voice. He groaned. 'Not again,' he thought. "Okay," he said, angrily, "where the hell are you?" "Aaawwww..." came his voice from above him. "Is the poor, little vampire having a nightmare?" His face... his human face appeared over him, wearing a look that made even him cringe. His whole body slowly materialized and Angelus finally realized why he couldn't move: the bastard was crouched on his chest like an oversized elf. "Get off me," Angelus finally yelled and knocked his double off of him. He got to his feet quickly and faced his other self. "Now, who are you?" "You already know the answer to that question," the other said immpatiently. "Okay..." Angelus growled, "what do you want then?" "You know that too," was the answer as Angel grew more irritable. "Will you stop with the bone-headed, obvious questions already? My respect for your intelligence is low enough as it is." That did it. Angelus was mad now. He rushed his double but Angel stepped aside at the last minute. With all the momentum Angelus had built up, he couldn't stop himself and he plowed right into a wall. The blow to himself was hard enough to knock him to the ground. Angel laughed again. "You're pathetic." "Am I?" Angelus asked as he staggered to his feet. "Then why are you here?" "Where else can I fight you but here?" Angel asked simply. "What?" "You heard me," Angel said as he started circling his victim. "I can't fight you out there anymore. But I can still fight you in here. Our roles have been reversed. Now *you* play Jekyll to *my* Hyde. And you know what?" Angel finally stopped circling and pushed Angelus' face back into the wall. As he did, he leaned over and whispered into his double's ear, "I'm much better at it that you were." With that, Angel released his hold on Angelus and walked away, laughing evily. Angelus pushed himself away from the wall and turned to face his other self. "I'm getting out of here," he growled as he headed for the door. But, again, as he left the room, he found himself falling into darkness. This time though, as he fell, he turned to see Angel waving at him from the top of the pit. It was the last thing he saw as the darkness enveloped him once again. Left alone at the top, Angel chuckled to himself and walked away from the edge of the well. "He just won't learn, will he...?" - -- End Part 4 Well? The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 22:31:07 -0400 From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: poem: Sonnet for B. S. from R. G. Sonnet for B.S from R.G She is the child I will never have, And as her almost-father I=20 Should give her cause to smile and laugh, Not drive her and ignore her cries. But that is not to be, for we two are part of something more. We are bound, held fast by destiny -- Mine to guide and hers to war. For her this would not be my choice, She should be always in the sun. But though I cry =91til I break my voice She won=92t be free =91til this war is done. I give her nightmares and wish her dreams, and have nightmares of my own of her dying screams. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 22:33:02 -0400 From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. G. I wasn't sure if poetry was appropriate, so my advanced apologies if I have done ill. - -R ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 21:54:04 -0500 (CDT) From: Jill Kirby Subject: Admin/Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. G. At 10:33 PM 5/18/98 -0400, Rick Smith wrote: >I wasn't sure if poetry was appropriate, so my advanced apologies if I >have done ill. For the record, poetry is absolutely appropriate. Stories, poems, haiku, whatever-- if it's Buffy-related, and follows the other guidelines (i.e. adult content), you're fine. And sonnets are my favourite form of poetry-- thanks. I liked it, a lot. Sad, though, which is appropriate. Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel He didn't just want to have his cake and eat it. He wanted to have his cake, eat it, franchise a bakery chain with his name on it, defend the cause of pure pastry, and somehow get credit for both abstinence and epicureanism. Just like the rest of us. --A. Gopnik on Oscar Wilde ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 00:33:57 EDT From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Revelations (1/1) TITLE: Revelations AUTHOR: Tamara! EMAIL: Aramat330@aol.com DISTRIBUTION: Eventually my site. You want it, just tell me. RATING: PG all the way! (Yay, me!) SUMMARY: This is set in the future, how far I don't know, but it is a ways into the future. It's about two people finding each other again. That's all I could think of. FEEDBACK: All good tidings come my way. All bad ones, go somewhere else. DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me. They belong to Joss, who may or may not be alive Wednesday morning. Not that *I'm* threatening to harm him, but some people are talking lots of violence. Anyway, I'm just playing with them, trying to make them happy before Joss tears their world apart. Note: I'm sending this out because it has a happy ending. I've resigned myself to a summer of not so happy fic, so I have to get the happy stuff in now. I hope you like it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Revelations By Tamara! She never knew what hit her. One moment she was standing there, alone with her thoughts, an act in which she often found herself these days, the next he was there, surrounding her. She stood still as death, waiting for him to make the first move, hoping he would come to her, not her to him as had been the way all those years ago. In the end they came to each other. The longer she stood there trying to forget his presence, the longer he stood waiting, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence, waiting for her to yeild to the power that drew them together. In the end she couldn't deny it, she didn't want to. They came together slowly, each taking tentative steps toward something neither of them wanted, but needed despite their intentions. To each other they were drawn by passion, by hate, by destiny, by love. They were drawn together by a need to destroy, drawn together by a need to heal. So many conflicting emotions, so many feelings that defied explanation. As they stared up at each other, their eyes holding many questions, questions they could only answer by looking deep inside themselves, to the parts they didn't want to explore. She opened her mouth to speak, to say how confused she still was by their situation, that even after all these years the sound of his name, softly spoken in her dreams, still had the ability to incite her rage, that the memory of his touch, his hands caressing her, still had the ability to inflame her passions. He stopped her, his finger against her slightly parted lips effectively silencing the words that waited to be spoken. He, better than anyone, understood. He felt what she felt, he knew what she knew. They were bound together, for all eternity, and the bond had only grown stronger during their time apart. It hardly surprised her that she'd never gotten over him. He'd been her first love. The one you never forgot, the one you loved forever. The only thing was, as hard as she tried, she couldn't move on. Other women, while never forgetting their first love, moved on to bigger and better things. But she couldn't, no matter how many men she dated, how many lovers she had, none could make her forget him. He'd literally spoiled her for other men, something that, at times made her laugh, at times made her cry. She didn't want to love him, she'd tell herself, she didn't want to remember him and the way they had been. But when she fell asleep at night and her dreams took over he would be there, in some mystical place, waiting for her, and she was happy. When she finally focused her attention back on him he was smiling. He reached up, his hand cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his palm, her eyes closing, her lips parting as a contented sigh escaped her. His hand moved down to lift her chin and she opened her eys to look at him, knowing that he had something to say. "I've never forgotten," he whispered softly to her, his voice holding a note of sadness that she recognized intimately. It was a sound she was well used to, having heard it in her own. "I'll never forget. You won't let me." And she knew then, as he spoke those words, that she remembered him because she wanted to, not because she couldn't stop herself. His presence was an intergral part of her, his influence in her life so deep that to abandon it would mean losing an intimate part of herself, a part she was not ready, probably would never be ready, to let go. She needed him to be a part of her life, in any way, shape or form. Just like he needed her in his. Together they were stronger and they'd held on to that in anyway they could, through their dreams, through their memories, through the love that had once brought them together and tore them apart. In the moment it took her to stop denying that she did, indeed, love him, to start admitting that there would never be anyone else for her, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her. She felt alive, she felt happy, she felt loved. They were feelings she'd denied herself for so long, feelings she'd forgotten she needed in order to survive. "You know," she said, as she smiled up at him. "You still have the ability to make me crazy." Her smile widened when he cracked on of his own. "Funny, you do the same to me." He leaned forward slightly, his lips lightly brushing hers, before he pulled away and looked down at her, his eyes serious. "I've missed you. A lot." She smiled. "I've missed you too. Life was lonely without you." Then she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, holding on to him and life was finally worth living again. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, CtH Mistress ~ Aramat330@aol.com ~ UCS ~ Spikette ~ SGEB ~ SunS Worshipper ~ RABID ~ GASP Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/index.html "We're so sick. I love us!" -Lex, My Evil Twin "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" "I think -therefore I'm single." -Lizz Winstead ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 01:07:04 -0400 From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire TITLE: Trial By Fire AUTHOR: R. Smith (conor@dnaco.net) Rated: R for language (and some violence against vampires) Synopsis: Solo Cordelia in the more or less mainstream Buffyverse. Comments: Bring =91em on Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, all characters and concepts are property of Josh Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., blah, blah blah. =93So that=92s it then,=94 said Buffy, =93You=92re sure it=92s going dow= n in L. A. and not here?=94 =93All of the signs point to Los Angeles,=94 replied Giles, =93Not quite _everything_ happens right here on the Hellmouth. There is a lesser source of evil somewhere in the Hollywood Hills that, while an order of magnitude weaker than Sunnydale, is still capable of generating some truly dreadful effects.=94 =93We=92d better get going if we=92re going to be ready by tonight. Xan= der, Willow and I have already dealt with the whole parental consent issue,=94= =20 Willow and Xander nodded in unison, =93 So there=92s nothing keeping us f= rom cruising out of here right now.=94 =93Aren=92t we going to wait for Cordelia?=94 asked Willow, =93She is um= ... part of the team now. Well, she more or less is part of the team, anyway.=94 =93Nah,=94 said Xander, =93She=92s got some kind of family thing going o= n this weekend. And, although I am her significant other, she was very pointed in the fact that she wasn=92t ready for her family to know she was dating me. So this will be a good excuse to make myself scarce.=94 He made a face. =93Like I wanted to be introduced to her aunts and uncles and cousins, anyway. Ugh, it=92d be like being trapped Barbie=92s Beach Party from Hell.=94 =93Still, we should tell her where we=92re going, and how to reach us, i= n case she needs to contact us,=94 said Giles, =93No need borrowing trouble= .=94 =93Ok, ok, I=92ll leave her a note. I=92ll even use small words so she=92= ll understand most of it.=94 =93She=92s not here, Xander,=94 said Buffy, =93So you can stop pretendin= g you don=92t really like her. No one here is buying.=94 Xander jotted down a quick note, and left it on the table. As they all headed out the door, a gust of wind from the hall gently lifted the note, and tossed it carelessly to the floor, out of sight. Several hours later, Cordelia came trotting into the library. =93Okay, why didn=92t anyone clue me in that something was going on. I called at...=94 She suddenly realized that she was using up some perfectly good bitching on an empty room. =93Great,=94 she thought, =93They=92re not here either. It figures that= when my plans change and I=92ve suddenly got this urge to hang out with them, they don=92t even bother to let me know what=92s going on. I guess I=92m= not as much a part of their little group as I thought.=94 It bothered her that it bothered her that they had excluded her. Just a year ago, she wouldn=92t have wanted to hang out with them anyway, and now... Well, things change. She was with Xander now, and after a year of helping Megabuffy the Vampire Destroyer, she fit better with Buffy and Company than she did with her old crowd. She knew she didn=92t contribute as much as the others, but she tried. I= t was hard, and scary, fighting gweechy monsters, and sometimes she wished that she was still as oblivious as she had been. But then she=92d still detest Xander and even though he couldn=92t dress to save his life, and was sometimes an asshole, besides, she really liked him. =93Oh, this is to classic,=94 said a voice from the stacks, =93I come to rough up the Slayer, and give her a little emotional scarring, and I find poor, dim, Cordelia, all alone and all but wearing a sign that says =91Kill me and drink my blood=92.=94 =93Oh God!=94 thought Cordelia, =93Angel.=94 She looked up and saw him, with two other vampires, all grinning down at her.=20 Seeing the stunned look on her face, Angel chuckled. =93Hmm... how to kill you. Quick? Naw, that=92 wouldn=92t be any fun. Slow, very slow, w= ith lots of screaming. Take her boys, and bring her to me...... unhurt.=94 As the vampires began a leisurely stroll down the stairs, Cordelia cast about for some escape. She wasn=92t supposed to have to deal with this stuff alone. Vampire fighting was Buffy=92s _job_. she wanted to cry, bu= t knew that that would only result in vampires killing her. So, she ran. She hit the library doors at a dead sprint, leaving the vampires standing in surprise. =93After her!=94 yelled Angel as he vaulted the rail, =93If she gets awa= y, I=92ll kill you all myself.=94 Cordelia ran down the hall, just trying to get away. Her only real thought was =93DamnXanderdamnBuffydamndamndamn. Why did you leave me her= e alone to get killed by vampires. I will never, _never_ forgive you if Angel rips out my throat.=94 As she ran, her mind gradually calmed. =20 =93What would Buffy do to get these guys to leave her alone?=94 she aske= d herself. =93Buffy would just kill them and go have a Frappuccino,=94 she answered. =93Buffy would kill them. Buffy would have to kill them. _I_ have to kil= l them. How do I kill them?=94 =93She=92d seen Buffy kill about a zillion vampires. She made it look easy. Maybe it was. She=92d need a stake. Buffy always used a stake.=20 All the stakes were in Giles=92 office... back in the library where Angel was. Once Buffy had used a broom handle. There were brooms in the closet where she and Xander made out every day!=94 With solid plan in mind, Cordelia headed around the corner and down the hall toward the janitor=92s closet. In the distance, she could hear the vampires chatting about what they=92d do when they caught her. They were so casual about it, like she didn=92t have a chance of beating them. God, that pissed her off. She=92d kill them, just to spite them. She skidded up to the closet door, nearly sliding past it. She tore it open and stood staring at the cleaning supplies. She looked blankly at the brooms and mops, trying to figure out how to stick one into a vampire. =93Oh!=94 she thought, and kicked one of the mop handles. It snapped, and the top (with a nicely sharpened point) landed at her feet. As she bent to pick it up, she heard, =93Look what we have here. She=92= s actually going to try to fight us.=94 Two of the vampires were chuckling in the hall, amused by her attempt to defend herself. =93I=92ll take care of this,=94 one said to the other, as he headed towa= rd her down the hall, =93Angel says she=92s the least dangerous of the lot. Give up, cutie, you can=92t hope to beat a real, live vampire with that pathetic little stick. Come on back with us, so that Angel can rip out your throat.=94 The whole time he talked, he kept moving forward, getting within striking distance of what he thought was a terrified girl. Cordelia was concentrating much too hard to be very afraid. She was remembering how Buffy used a stake, seeing in her mind=92s eye the motion that would carry hers into this vampire=92s heart. When he got close enough, he glanced back at his buddy, and as he did, Cordelia struck, just the way Buffy would have. The stake slid effortlessly into his chest, and he had one moment to look surprised before he exploded into dust. =93Gross!=94 thought Cordelia, as the dust covered her, but that thought was driven from her mind as the second vampire charged with a growl. She stumbled into the closet, looking around for something to distract the monster before it killed her. Her gaze fell on a big plastic bottle of ammonia, and she remembered when she was a little girl and got some ammonia in her eyes. Not only did it make them red and ugly for two days, it hurt like Hell. she didn=92t know if ammonia would hurt vampires=92 eyes, but she was game to try it, so as the vampire ran towar= d her she grabbed the bottle and jabbed her stake into it. When the vampire got close, she help up the bottle, and squirted ammonia right into his face. He threw up his arms, more in surprise than in pain, and covered his face. With a very satisfied look, Cordelia stabbed him through the heart and he exploded just like the other one. Stake in hand, she stepped carefully out of the closet. Somewhere, Angel was still in the school. Slow clapping greeted her in the hallway. =93Amazing, truly amazing,=94 said Angel from a little way down the hall= , =93I never would have imagined you capable of killing one, let alone two, vampires. Buffy would be so proud. If, of course, I let you live to tell her, which I won=92t. Time to die, Cordie.=94 =93No-one calls me that but Xander, you blood-sucking pinhead,=94 Cordel= ia said, =93I don=92t care if you are Buffy=92s ex-whatever.=94 In her anger, Cordelia tried something she=92d seen Buffy do a couple of times. She threw the stake at Angel, expecting it to stick right in his chest. Buffy would be mad, since she wanted to re-curse him and all, but she=92d understand that Cordelia really didn=92t have a choice, it wa= s Angel or her, after all. The stake spun lazily through the air, hitting Angel squarely in the chest and... bouncing. Angel doubled over, laughing so hard he couldn=92= t see straight. =93You didn=92t expect that to _work_, did you?=94 he choked between bre= aths, =93Buffy can do that kind of crap because she=92s the Slayer, you dimwit.= =94 Cordelia saw the logic in that statement. She also saw that as long as he was choking on his own laughter, she could run away, so she did. She headed back to the library, since Angel was in the hallway. Giles always kept vampire killing stuff there. =93Wait,=94 gasped Angel, =93Come back! I=92m sorry I mocked you. Let=92= s talk this over until I can get my hands on you.=94 More laughter echoed throug= h the halls. Cordelia made it back to the library without further incident, slamming through the doors and charging straight for Giles=92 office. She grabbed the handle and turned. Nothing happened. She rattled the knob as if that would make the lock magically open. Still nothing. Once again she tried to think of what Buffy would do. =93She=92d step back and kick it right there, like _this_. Owwww.=94 The door slammed open as Cordelia kicked it, but she was pretty sure she=92d broken her foot. She made a mental note that that was one more thing Buffy could do because she was the Slayer. She limped inside, and opened the cabinet where Giles kept his vampire stuff. There were stakes, and crosses and one of the crossbow thingies, as well as all his musty old monster books. She grabbed a stake (a really nice one, she noted) and a big wooden cross, and turned just as Angel got to the office door. He snarled and jumped back as she jammed the cross at his face, throwing up an arm to ward off the very sight of it. He tried twice more to get at her, but each time, she brandished the cross and he fell back. =93I=92m impressed, Cordelia,=94 he said from around the corner, =93I underestimated you. I think I=92ll let you live until it=92s just you and Buffy. Although I have been know to change my mind from time to time, so I wouldn=92t sleep to soundly if I were you.=94 Cordelia heard the library door swing open, and close softly. She sat there all night, cross in one hand and stake in the other, just in case he came back. =93Ho-Hum,=94 said Xander as they all stepped into the library, =93All t= hat way, and Buffy kills the big, bad vampiroid in twenty seconds flat. It was hardly worth the effort, heck Cordie probably could have killed that one....whoa! Giles, someone=92s been sleeping in your bed and they kicked in your door to get there.=94 =93Oh, no,=94 said Giles, =93Not another red herring so that the vampire= s here could get to my books!=94 They all headed over to the shattered remains of Giles=92 office door.=20 When they got close, a cross came poking out, followed by a quick stab from a wooden stake. It might have hit Xander, but Cordelia stumbled on her swollen foot and fell. =20 She looked wrecked, hair a mess, clothing askew, makeup smeared with tears. At the same time, she looked both relieved and angry to see the rest of the gang. =93And where in the Hell did you four go off to, leaving me here to figh= t vampires while you were gone?=94 she started, beginning to get up a good head of steam, =93I nearly died last night, and you all couldn=92t even l= et me know where you went.=94 =93Cordie,=94 soothed Xander, =93Slow down. You fought vampires? Are y= ou okay? Did they hurt you? Oh, man, are you okay?=94 Cordelia said, =93Angel was here... with a couple of other vampires. The= y chased me around the school, but I killed two of them and chased Angel off with this.=94 She brandished the cross. =93The Cross of Saint Crispian,=94 commented Giles, =93A very holy relic= .=20 I=92m not surprised Angel couldn=92t get past it to you.=94 =93Let me get this straight,=94 Buffy cut in, =93You killed _two_ vampir= es last night?=94 =93Yes,=94 said Cordelia slowly, as if speaking to an infant, =93In the janitor=92s closet by the gym.=94 =93Hey, guys,=94 commented Willow, =93This is really important and all, = but Cordelia doesn=92t look too good. Maybe we should leave the question and answer session until we get her cleaned up and have that foot looked at.=94 =93Oh... yes,=94 said Giles, looking a bit bemused, =93That would be for= the best. Can you walk, Cordelia?=94 =93I think so, if I have someone to lean on.=94 Buffy nudged Xander. =93Oh, hey, that=92d be me,=94 he said. As he helped Cordelia out of the library he softly said to her, =93I absolutely forbid you from killing vampires without me ever again. I mean it, imagine what kind of trouble you could get in to.=94 =93Yeah,=94 said Buffy, =93Like fighting off three vampires, killing two= and driving off a really dangerous one. My God, Cordelia, what were you thinking?=94 =93Ok, ok,=94 said Xander, =93I guess you can kill all the vampires you = want. Just be more careful. I=92d hate to have to figure out if I missed you.=94 He glanced around and then kissed her lightly, =93I=92m glad you=92re oka= y.=94 =93I think,=94 said Cordelia, =93That I=92ll leave the vampire killing t= o Buffy. She doesn=92t even get dirty when she does it. I=92m going to hav= e to wash for a week to get dead vampire out of my hair.=94 ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #195 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)