From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #222 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Saturday, June 6 1998 Volume 02 : Number 222 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Sorrowful Regrets (2/?) BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (24/?) BUFFYFIC: Repercussions (9/?) by Andrea See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 23:58:24 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Sorrowful Regrets (2/?) Title: Sorrowful Regrets (2/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG (buffy-like language and violence) Warning: Just to be safe. Anyone who's seriously against the concept that Angel made Spike might not want to read this story. Spoiler: Oh, just Everything. Feedback: First there is PBSD (Post Becoming Stress Disorder), now I'm suffering from LOFD (lack of feedback disorder). Please help? Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, 20th Century, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: A look into Spike's past from re-birth as a vampire and his future with Drusilla after Becoming. OTHER STORIES: You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address. DEDICATIONS: Thanks to everyone who wrote back to me on 'Master' details. *************** Spike snapped out of his daze as the body on his lap began to stir, and he looked down at her. She rolled over onto her back until her eyes connected with his. "Spike?" she asked, her voice weak and innocent. By contrast, her deep brown eyes looked up at him with demonic curiosity. "I'm here, baby." The palm of her hand connected sharply with his face. She quickly rose to look down on him. Her fingers danced in the air as her mind traveled through thoughts of the pain and sorrow. "Dru! I don't want to start this with you again. I had my reasons for what I did." After all the time he had spent trying to prepare an apology, he couldn't get the right words to come out. Dru was too difficult to please and he knew she wouldn't forgive him until she was ready. "You hurt Angel. You lied to me!" "He deserved it! Princess, I'm sorry I lied to you, but I didn't have a choice. Angel needed to be taught a lesson." Dru dropped her head and began to pout. Before Spike could reach his feet and catch her, she was out the door and running away as fast as she could. ~ ~ ~ Darkness. He was surrounded by nothing but a pitch-black darkness. His eyes were open, but nothing could be seen. Pain dragged him into an epitome of nothingness. His chest ached with every breath he tried to force in. It didn't seem necessary though. Even breathing seemed a waste of time. 'Am I dead?' The thought raced through his mind repeatedly as he contemplated where he was; what he was doing curled up on the floor of what felt like a small cold room. A point of light suddenly shone into the room, accompanied by the creaking of rusty hinges. It's starting point was unknown but the intense pain made it impossible to focus on anything. The room slowly lit up, revealing black painted brick walls and a concrete floor. The door, made of a hard steel was only a few feet from his face. "How are we feeling?" Angelus asked as he entered. His shadowy figure was outlined by a bright light behind him. The man on the floor raised a hand to shield his eyes, and tried to look up at the monstrous creature that stood by his head but he couldn't force his muscles into action. "I feel..." he croaked, stopping as his head began pounding like it was going to explode. His eyes rolled back into his head as he tried to remain conscious. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't get anything out; the pain was too intense. he thought to himself. He reached up and cradled his head; trying stop the pounding. As his hands brushed against his face, he felt the strange texture that had replaced his previously smooth complexion. "I never did catch your name." Angelus said with a grin on his face. He stepped over and pulled the prone figure into a sitting position, propped him up against the wall. "There you go, how's that?" Angelus asked as he lightly slapped the man's face. He gritted his teeth. "Why should I tell you who I am?" The man asked harshly. "Cause I'm your new best friend," Angelus said cockily. He leaned up against the wall and watched the man struggle against the pain. "Huh?" "Don't worry. You'll understand soon enough. Now, what was your name again?" Angelus knelt down by the man's weak body. "Go to hell!" "Where did you think I was from, Heaven? Don't let the name fool you, my friend." Angelus reached out to a large cut on the man's head but his hand was pushed away. "What do you want?" He was hungry. Craving for something but he was too weak to focus on what it was. The pain kept growing stronger, each passing second making it worse. "Right now, just your name." The man stared blankly into Angelus's eyes, refusing to answer. "Look, buddy, I can make this as easy or as painful as you'd like." Angelus smiled as the man cringed. The agony riveting through his body was growing more intense by the second. "That pain you feel? It gets worse. And I'm the only one who can make it stop." "William," the man mumbled under his breath as a wave of pain lashed against his stomach. "Huh?" "My name. William!" "Good, you're catching on to this simple little game of mine." Angelus smirked, satisfied with his findings. William screamed as the pain in his head pounded heavily, sending shivers down his spine. "Hungry?" Angelus waved his hand and a another man dragged in a beautiful young girl. She was thrown to the ground in front of him, and his instincts to took over. William grabbed her body, and snarled painfully as he brought her neck to his lips. Angelus watched with a smile, anticipating his next move. "Go on," he said, resting a hand beneath his chin. He paused a second to look up at the vampire before gently biting into the young girl's neck. The girl whimpered but William was hungry and finished her quickly. He tossed her body to the ground and moved to stand up. "Now how do you feel?" Angelus asked from the doorway. "Better." The young vampire wiped blood away from his lips with the back of his hand and licked it off. Every drop of that sweet red substance gave him more strength. "William." Angelus laughed, watching him make a mess. "William the bloody." "Huh?" "You'll see soon enough. Now, let's go." "Where are we going?" "That pain that still sits in the pit of your stomach. You want it to go away, don't you?" Angelus chucked a bit at the sight that stood before him; he was a bloody mess. William rose to his feet and followed Angelus out of the room. ~ ~ ~ "Dammit Dru!" Spike raced down the stairs after her. He had to have her back, even if it meant groveling at her feet for decades. The doors to the building slammed behind him as he ran out into the pouring rain. Her perfect figure could be seen for miles as she stood at the top of a hill, head thrown back, her mouth wide open. Sharp drops of rain poured down her throat. The rain mixed with the tears falling from her eyes. Spike just watched her. Unable to move or speak. Her beauty was breathtaking. Her dress was now soaking wet and clung to her body. "I'm so sorry baby. I don't care what it takes. I just want you back," Spike whispered to himself. Suddenly, Dru froze, sensing his presence. She spun around and a smile formed on her lips. ~ ~ ~ ~ End Part 2 - What did ya think? ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 06 Jun 1998 13:53:45 EDT From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (24/?) DISCLAIMER: The characters are *not* mine. Enough said. SUMMARY: This takes place at the same time as part 23 did, except for the last section. Hmm.. how can I explain this simply? Ah: Section 1: What happens to Angel while Buffy takes care of Spike and Angelus (part 23) Section 2: What happens to Cordelia at the same time Section 4: What happens to Corin, Xander and Giles. Section 5: What happens to the Xander of the past after the struggle scene at the tree. (Let me know if this doesn’t make sense.) FEEDBACK: Send it. REQUESTS FOR PARTS: I’ll be happy to send you what ever you don’t have, now that I have all my parts back! (Ingrid29@juno.com) NOTE: After those pathetic writing SAT II’s, I decided to do something that it takes half a brain to write… ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Twenty-four: "Loose Ends" ********* Angel was running behind her. He was close to catching up when he felt a tearing in his ankle and slipped. He hit the ground. Why he hadn’t seen whatever it was? The pavement sparkled in the rich purples and whites that cement seemed to always get in the twilight, when everyone had abandoned the commercial district of the town. The points of light were strangely hypnotizing, and he had to tear his eyes away to remember what was going on; how important this was. He stood up. There wasn’t any pain. He was surprised. But the pavement was sparkling still more, and when he raised his head to look around, it was all gone, and the glittering whites and purples became golden, swallowing the scene. He was floating, not standing. That’s why his ankle didn’t hurt. It was like the sunlight, this dazzling light surrounding him, and he was tired. There was something to be done, his mind insisted, but his body’s urge was stronger. He closed his eyes and slept in the warmth. *** Cordelia was pretty far behind. She didn’t think she’d even get there in time at all. She shouldn’t have hesitated. Damn, she had to catch up. She couldn’t even see Buffy ahead. She must have turned around one of those corners, Cordelia concluded, and proceeded to round the old building, looking for the slayer. For a second, she thought she saw her. There was a distinct something for a flash, and then it was gone. The buildings were so tall. She felt like she was running a maze, and somebody far away was laughing at her. She turned another corner. This shouldn’t be so hard! The town wasn’t all that large, and she’d been here many times as a teenager before she left, but as she ran, things only got more and more unfamiliar. She was lost. Dammit! She shrieked as she ran into a wall and looked up. It stretched endlessly into the sky. It was laughing. It was the *building itself* that had been laughing. And now it was spinning. The whole world was spinning. She screamed. The warm light and sleep finally stopped the noise. *** Xander and Corin were stood by the sidewalk while the EMT’s were loading young Buffy into an ambulance. Anyone who’d heard her whining fit would have thought she was dying. Her foot would be fine, they said, and Xander and Corin had slipped away cautiously in the midst of the confusion. That was when Giles came running up to them from the other way. "Xander!" He grabbed the man’s shoulder and came to a stop. "Xander, have you seen Willow? What happened? I entered the portal with her, and ended up in the middle of no where. I couldn’t find her anywhere!" "I haven’t seen her," he answered nervously. They each knew what was on the other’s mind. Betrayal. They loved her. But they couldn’t trust her completely. She’d helped them. Or had she? This whole thing could have been some sort of a setup, and they’d never know. Instantaneously, as if someone had unplugged a television, there was darkness. Silence. He couldn’t speak to answer, and his reaching hands met only nothingness. Then came the gentle yellow light, and all thought fled. *** Xander’s mom’s car squealed into a the Sunnydale Park. Ending up barely missing a tree. He threw open the door and took off, not really caring what happened to the car, although his mom would kill him if she ever found out. She wasn’t the only one He was late, and Willow was going to strangle him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t anxious as hell to do the curse with her or anyt- He rounded the tree. Willow was lying on the ground, two distinct puncture wounds on her neck oozing blood. Her face was red where she’d obviously been punched a few times. He didn’t have to approach her to realize she was dead. He was late. Angelus had killed her. The whole park was empty, and the sky had become horrendously black. Wind was whistling far away. He dropped to his knees. Something cracked in the sky, and before he knew it, he was being pelted with the rain. He didn’t know whether the roar in his ears was the lightning or his own scream. He got up and ran. *** END, 24. I got my research paper back! "A" for content, "A" for mechanics, and an "A-" for format (I committed the grievous sin of numbering my first outline pg!) _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 06 Jun 1998 20:38:38 PDT From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions (9/?) by Andrea Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are all the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. Feedback: Please. Thanks to Rachel and Christine for taking the time to help me with this. I really appreciate it. :) Chapter nine. Buffy's house August 21,1998 4:00 p.m. Buffy sat on the verandah trying to collect the courage to go inside. She had been sitting there for over an hour, ever since Giles had dropped her off. They had all wanted to come in with her, to support her, but she had refused. She had to face her mother on her own. Face yet another person whose life had been destroyed by her. Swallowing, she leaned back on the bench, letting the late afternoon sun warm her. She could feel her mother inside anxiously waiting, knew Willow had called her, told her they were on the way, but she couldn't make herself move. Once her home had been a haven from who she was, her mother lectures about being more responsible, to study more, to take things seriously giving her moments in which to believe she was a normal teenager. She watched the people walking on the road, children playing on bikes, Mothers pushing strollers. It all fit so perfectly in this neighborhood, the only thing that didn't fit was her. Her eyes wandered over the front lawn, noticing it hadn't been mowed in weeks, and her mother's jeep was filthy. She looked around, suddenly noticing the rundown look of the entire house, the plants dying, the paint chipped. Feeling her stomach clench as a slight sweat broke out on her brow. Her mother never let stuff like this happen, well at least not before she found out her daughter killed vampires. And then her daughter had run away, unable to give her any peace of mind. Her head swam as new guilt was added on. She had pictured her mother living just as they always had, not worrying, just being. Shaking her head at her folly she stood up, realizing it was time to face her. Taking a deep breath she put her hand on the doorknob. Turning it slowly she told herself to be calm, this wasn't a big deal. The thought tumbled around in her head for a moment until she looked at it and realized its truth. Nothing was very important in the face of her duty. In her life, for the rest of her life, everything else would come second. She had run from this truth, railed against it, even betrayed it. Now she would accept it. She could take the horror she felt at what had become of her life, at the things she had done and hone it into a weapon against evil. Pulling open the door, she ignored the rolling of her stomach. She stepped into the cool comfort of her home. Looking around, she felt a strange sense of surprise. Everything looked exactly as it had...before. Somehow, she thought the changes in her would be reflected in the house. That the walls would be painted black and the furniture broken, the destruction she had brought to everyone around her mirrored in the house, instead it was cool and quiet, everything bright, clean and in its place. Letting the door fall shut behind her she walked towards the living room. Her mother was sitting on the couch, cautiously watching her. Buffy just stood there, rooted to the ground. Her head flashed with images of the last night she had been in this house. Of the words between her and her mother. Remembering that the last time she had touched her mother had been to push her. She swallowed, her eyes begging her mother to forgive her. "Buffy" Her mother spoke cautiously, her face tense, "Willow called. H-How are you?" "Fine." She could speak these words, pretend everything was normal, like she was returning from her father's, just another summer with him in LA. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you worry. I sh..should have called." Her mother stood, walked towards her. Buffy found herself stepping back, keeping the distance between them, unable to stop herself. Watching her mother's face fall she closed her eyes. Trying to stay on top of the mound of guilt in her mind she spoke, "I'm....you talked to Willow?" Her mother frowned, took a step away from her, "Yes. Buffy, I'm so sorry. They told me. I don't understand it. I believe you but I don't understand it." Buffy smiled bitterly at her, understanding the confusion she felt, she had felt it to, in the beginning, "Don't try. It just is. You have to accept it. I have...finally." She wandered further into the livingroom, struggling to keep her movements casual. She could feel her mother's questions, begging to be answered without her having to ask. Buffy swallowed, turning to face her mother once more. Her mother looked so bewildered as she looked at her daughter, her eyes afraid, yet determined. "W-We should talk. I....Willow told me about that boy, your boyfriend, Angel. Do you want to talk?" Buffy looked at her mother, her heart screaming yes, I want to. She wanted to throw herself into her mother's arms like she was five again and her mother could fix everything. When her words meant something and a hug could put right what was wrong. Her eyes filled with tears and she swallowed them back, understanding that the time for them was past. "No." Her voice coming out sharper than she had intended it to, lowering her voice she continued, "Thanks." She paused, trying to keep her voice from shaking, "I...I, can I...I need to be alone. Do you mind? I'm sorry, I just..." She stood there praying her mother would let it go, not push it. She wasn't sure she could tell the story again and keep hold of her sanity. She watched her mother, seeing the myriad of emotions passing through her face. Finally her mother smiled sadly at her, "I love you Buffy, always." Closing her eyes against the sudden rush of pain Buffy nodded, turning quickly she headed for the stairs, for escape. Feeling both relieved and disappointed with the reunion she began to climb the stairs. As her foot landed on the second step her mother grabbed her arm, pulling her back to her, wrapping her arms around her, holding her tightly. After a moment Buffy returned the hug, holding on to her mother like a lifeline. Speaking into her mother's shoulder, "I love you too." She broke the hug and turned back to the stairs, nothing fixed or solved, but maybe just a bit less painful. Walking into her room she gasped for air, unprepared for the assault of memories that hit her as she entered the room. Every inch of her room was covered in memories of Angel. Picturing him sleeping on her floor before she had even known what he was, the first kiss by the window when she found out. His cryptic guy visits through her window. The time she had caught him holding Mr. Gordo. Sinking to the floor she sat there, her eyes searching out every spot he had stood, remembering every word he had spoken. Seeing his leather jacket still hanging in her closet she flinched. Remembering all the times she had worn it, the feel of the leather against her arms, imagining it was him. Shuddering she crawled along the floor towards her bed. The tears falling unnoticed as she realized that not only would Angel suffer the torments of hell she would never see him again, never kiss him through her window, never sit with him on her bed. She sat quietly, slowly rocking back and forth, the pain still a huge void inside her. He was gone, she was responsible for it. There was no way to ever make it up to him, to tell him she was sorry, to tell him she still loved him. There were so many things that were now gone forever. And not lost into the nostalgia of a past love but condemned forever to live on, an open wound. Pulling herself up onto her bed she sat, looking at the ring he had given her sitting in plan sight on her dresser. Standing she walked over and picked it up, staring it at for a long moment then slowly slipping it back onto its rightful place on her finger. Straightening up, her face becoming determined once again. He was gone forever, but her love wasn’t and neither was her duty. Walking slowly she went to her closet, taking the leather jacket off its hanger. She lay it on the bed as she quickly changed, letting her tears dry on her face, refusing to let any more fall. Leaving Angel's cross hanging around her neck where she had worn it since the day she had sent him to hell. She slipped his jacket on and after glancing at her closed bedroom door, she walked over to the window and quietly slipped out. She headed quickly away from her house, determined to head to the library. Wanting to talk with Giles about the vampire activity in the area, and then head out on patrol. Her duty would not wait one night for her to adjust to being here again. She walked quickly, purposefully toward the library, not noticing when her path changed and she started heading towards Angel's apartment. It started to mist slightly as she walked, her head down she watched the drops landing on the pavement. Feeling the wind pick up she pulled Angel’s jacket tighter, her arms crossed, holding it together. The town changed, houses giving way to storefronts and run-down buildings. She slowed, then stopped, realizing were she was heading, the route her feet had taken. Standing there, planning on changing her path back to the library, but unable to take the steps. She stood frozen for a moment, the wind blowing through her mist dampened hair, her heart aching for what had been lost. Things she could never change, never take back. She tried to walk away, to ignore the pain she knew waited for her in Angel’s apartment. But she couldn’t walk away, his voice was in her head, telling her to come, telling her not to worry. His voice telling her he loved her. Shuddering, she swallowed, struggling with the memories. Taking a deep breath she decided she had to go, had to say good-bye to Angel in the place were all his things were. To sit on his bed and remember only the good. To come to terms with what she had done, and how she would go on. Determined she began walking again, the rain another reminder of what she had lost. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #222 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. 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