From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #248 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Saturday, June 27 1998 Volume 02 : Number 248 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 39) BUFFYFIC: Lost In The Crowd (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Duty BUFFYFIC: "Reunion," part 26 (I think) BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" part 27 BUFFYFIC: Reflections 3/7 See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 18:27:43 -0700 From: _-Sun-_ Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 39) Characters are never mine. That's why I forget to say it now and then... because we all know that they'll never be mine... Also - there's a ton 'o violence to come. Small children, pets, and the sensitive should delete now ;) Also, I've been told that this chapter is depressing. Soooo, you've been warned ;) Charlotte Sometimes (Part 39) Drusilla stared numbly outside of the carriage, a couple of the sisters bowed their heads and prayed, but not Drusilla. Drusilla stared in shock. There was blood everywhere, along the house, in the tree's. She couldn't fathom this kind of hideous violence, the cruel killings that had happened here. She couldn't believe what her eyes saw, that anyone, *anything* could create this revolting scene. But there was one person she knew. One demon hateful enough to hurt so many... Drusilla's shaking fingers found the carriage knob, franticly hitting it, pushing it up then down. Trying insanely to get the jammed door to open. The two sisters nearer to her began to pull at her, telling her that they must leave this unholy site, that Satan himself had plagued her house. But Drusilla refused them, scratching the hands that came between her and the door until it finally gave way. Screaming out for her sister, she fell onto the ground, tumbling then standing. Lydia had been here! While this was all going on! While Angelus had been here so had her sister! What if... He had.. Could he? The question seemed absurd, as she pushed past her pain the best she could to stagger towards the doors. She gasped, and tumbled before falling flat on her face. Turning around she watched the three sisters argue about going after her, all their heads bowed away from the ghastly scene. And bowed away from Drusilla... Moaning, she tried to scramble into the house without seeing red, and she managed to get to her feet, running and limping - screaming out when her body came to a dead halt to see the figure of her one time nanny on the ground, very obviously dead. Thus distressed she somehow managed to get inside her house, not bothering to slam the door shut, far to stilled to manage the simple task. It was the house - completely differed from the site on the outside. It was quite another site. Looking the same as before, nothing moved, nothing out of place. Just quiet. Only half aware that she was now wearing new clothes, a new long black dress, obviously from one of the nuns - She panted, completely out of breath, running up the stairs. Scanning up about seven steps then falling down. She screamed again for her sister, praying to god that Angelus hadn't gotten her. Drusilla finally reached her sisters room - but to no avail, Lydia wasn't in the house. She screamed out for mercy, for her sister. But it was useless. She fell down apon the floor, closing her eyes, and began to pray. A prayer formed apon her lips. Not for her sister, or for herself. Not for the many people laying dead outside her house either... "Dear Father," She whispered in the still room, "I know he is not of your flock, but he still needs your guidance." Opening timid eyes to gaze in the porcelain face of her doll, and Lydia's Miss Edith. Drusilla picked up the doll, rolling it to a sitting position "He is lost Father, terribly lost." The glass eyes sent a shiver down her spine. They stared at her, in her eyes towards her soul. What did the doll know that she didn't? Was she here when Angelus had killed her parents? Her family? The servants? "But -- I love this man father!" She screamed as she threw the doll across the room, wishing it would break and shatter, that maybe she could shatter with it. "And his being lost is losing me." She hissed, feeling pure vengeance for this trick of the fates." "Oh god," She cried standing up only to fall unto the bed, burring herself in the covers to hide herself "Please show him the way to your divine light For if he is lost, then so am I." - -- _-SuN-_ SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html K - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/kinky/ Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone. Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 20:27:34 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost In The Crowd (1/1) Title: Lost In The Crowd (1/1) Author: Nastassia Email Addy: GothGirl77@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: Big spoilers for Passion Feedback: Please please please! Distribution: Maybe if you ask nicely. Disclaimer: Giles, Jenny, and the rest of the Slayerettes belong to Joss. The song "Anybody Seen My Baby" belongs to the Rolling Stones. (Also if anyone doesn't have the album and wants me to send them a wav of the song just ask.) I'll give them back once I'm done playing. Summary: Post-Passion Giles angst. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Lost In The Crowd (1/1) by Nastassia ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ She confessed her love to me Then she vanished On the breeze Trying to hold on to that Was just impossible Not a day passes by when I don't think of her. Not an hour when I don't wonder what might have happened if she had been alive when I found her, not broken and dead like she had been. It was wrong. Jenny was so beautiful, so vibrant, and so full of life. As a Watcher I should not have gotten emoitionally involved with anyone, but no one really plans to fall in love. She was more than beautiful Closer to ethereal With a kind of Down to earth flavor When I looked at Jenny I saw everything I was not. She was foreward, agressive even, at times, and she had no problems expressing her feelings. There was something in her eyes- mischief, perhaps, or maybe just happiness. You could look into her soul through those dark eyes. And what a beautiful soul it was. She never meant to hurt anyone. I know that now, though I should have known sooner. Jenny didn't have a mean bone in her body. She couldn't have known her silence would cost her her life. Close my eyes It's three in the afternoon Then I realize That she's really Gone for good God, I can't believe she's really dead. There are times when I can almost see her, chatting with Willow over that dreadful computer or standing in the doorway of the library. The last times I saw you alive, Jenny, we were making progress towards regaining what we had lost. ********** "I didn't know what would happen. I didn't know I was gonna fall in love with you......Oh God, is it too late to take that back?" "Do you want to?" "I just want to be right by you. I don't expect more. I just want so badly to make all this up to you." ********** Anybody seen my baby Anybody seen her around Love has gone And made me blind I've looked but I just can't find She has gotten lost In the crowd Angelus cost me everything. Jenny went from alive and happy to broken and dead in an instant. That bastard set up a cruel hoax for me, candles, flowers, wine, everything Jenny would have done. I keep replaying those last seconds in my mind. Those moments as I walked up the stairs were the last that were not spent in torment. Everything crumbled when I saw the present Angelus left in my bed. I took my revenge in the only way I knew how. I attacked Angelus and almost got myself killed in the process. Buffy saved my life, yet I was angry with her. I don't even know why. Maybe I wanted to die. Maybe part of me still does. I was flippin' magazines In that place on Mercer Street When I thought I spotted her "Rupert." That voice, is it really- "It's me, Rupert. It's really me." I smiled, for the first time since she died I really smiled. I looked up into her beautiful eyes. "Jenny," I whispered, almost afraid to speak, lest she vanish from my sight again. "Everything's going to be okay now." Getting on a motor bike Looking rather lady like Didn't she just give me a wave? I reached out to touch her. As my fingers grazed her lips, she breathed, "I love you, Rupert." "I love you, Jenny." I awoke on the couch and felt tears appear in my eyes as I realized it had been a dream. A wonderful terrible dream. Salty tears It's three in the afternoon Has she disappeared Is she really gone for good Desperate to repress my emotions I went to the library. It was empty. Of course it was empty. Who in their right mind would be alone in a library on a Friday night. I could just picture Xander saying, 'You need a life, G-Man.' Cool air from the open window blew a few papers onto the floor. I glanced at the windows, searching for the one Buffy had left open. All the windows were closed. "Rupert." "No," I gasped, "You're not real. I can't- I can't handle this." "Forgive me." "I do, Jenny." I was sobbing outright, but I didn't care anymore. "I'm sorry too," I stammered, "If I had been there I- I- I could have protected you!" "No more guilt," the disembodied voice ordered, "That won't change it." I felt a cool touch on my wrist, but saw nothing. "No more tears." Cool lips touched mine. "No more pain." I felt her fingers touch my face for a last time. "Goodbye Rupert." "I love you." Anybody seen my baby Anybody seen her around If I just close my eyes I reach out And touch the prize Anybody seen her around My hands held only empty air. I wondered absently how I would go on without her. "I wish," I began, "We had gotten the chance to be together." I briefly thought how ridiculous I must look at that moment, talking to myself in the school library, but quickly banished the thought. "The worst was never getting the chance to say goodbye. You gave me that chance back, Jenny." "Hey, G-Man, who ya talking to?" Xander called, as he, Willow, Cordelia, Buffy, and Oz entered, disrupting the silence of the room. "Nothing," I said, bending to pick up the papers that had fallen, "Just memories." Lost, lost and never found I must have called her A thousand times Sometimes I think She's just in my imagination Buffy reached under the table to retrive the last paper. "Giles?" she asked, her voice shaking, "Where did this come from?" Willow took the paper from Buffy's hands. "The Ritual of Restoration?" Willow read, "Ohmygod, is this--" "Angel's cure," I finished. "How?" "A gift from an old friend." Lost in the crowd *End* Send questions, comments, flames, and phone numbers of James Marsters to GothGirl77@aol.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 00:16:16 -0400 From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Duty Title: Duty Author: Northlight email: uzenet@videotron.ca Content: Post Becoming 2 Giles angst Summary: Giles thinks about Buffy Disclaimer: They belong to Joss Whedon ::For on his shoulders rests the job of fitting us for war With nothing to give him the clue of what to train us for. And if he fails it is not he that pays, but you and I- And so he dies a little when he hears the Death Bell cry.:: - -The Face Within, Queen's Own by Mercedes Lackey Giles dropped down into his chair, his shaking hand rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He let his glasses fall onto the cluttered desk top, his hands collapsing down beside them. The voices outside his office had risen. The young voices, once so full of enthusiasm, were now marked with pain and sorrow. They were too young to know such pain, and Giles regretted that his abrupt departure had piled another bit of worry onto their already full plates. He should go out there, assure them that he was perfectly fine. Tell them that his heart wasn't being pummeled mercilessly by the emotions that he couldn't seem to keep at bay. But he couldn't find the strength to rise to his feet, much less lie to the only people he had left. Giles doubted that he'd even be able to keep his voice from cracking and the tears that he had held back for so long from surging to his eyes. He had known that being a Watcher wouldn't be easy. He had known that taking care of the Slayer would be a difficult task at best. He had known that the loss of their Slayers had driven some Watchers to suicide. He had known that in his head. But that knowledge had never truly reached his heart until now. And now Giles lived with the incredible, unrelenting agony of having failed his Slayer every waking moment. He couldn't even escape Buffy in his dreams. Buffy had been a duty -- an unwanted one at that. But he had grown to love his Slayer -- her courage, her compassion.. But he had failed her. And now, she was gone. Perhaps forever. She had depended on him and he had failed her. He hadn't prepared her well enough, he hadn't trained her for the possibility that had finally taken her from him. The recognition that he couldn't have known about the consequences that would arise from Buffy's relationship with Angel didn't even attempt to make itself heard over the loud wailing of Giles' guilt. He should have been stronger for her. He shouldn't have given into Drusilla's mind games. Because of his weakness, Giles had cost Buffy her one chance at getting Angel back. His weakness had driven Buffy away. He missed her. Buffy's absence had created a void in his very soul greater than anything that Giles could have ever imagined. For two years, his life had centered around her and Giles found himself lost without her. Noticing the wetness on his cheeks, Giles roughly scrubbed away his tears. He had failed his Slayer too many times all ready. He would not fail her again. They would find Buffy, and somehow, he would make it up to her. ~End~ http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/7493/buffy.html ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 13:16:12 EDT From: ingrid29@juno.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion," part 26 (I think) DISCLAIMER: The characters from *Buffy the Vampire Slayer* I’m borrowing are not mine. That’s why they call it borrowing. Okay, that wasn’t funny. I’m running out of jokes, dammit! SUMMARY: Is this the end? Is this the end? Well, we’re getting there! Buffy finds out what the repercussions of her little adventure are. IF YOU HAVE NO CLUE as to what’s going on, and you haven’t ever seen "Reunion" before, that’s b/c I just resurrected my computer, and I haven’t posted in a millennium. If you would like previous parts, just e-mail me, and I’ll be happy to send them to you! NOTE: My stupid unstable computer wouldn’t start up last night again, and that’s my lame excuse for not getting this out last night. The rest will be coming today, I promise!! *** "Reunion," by Ingrid Part 26 (I think): "Blinding" *** He was coming up over the white hill now. She had to squint to see him; the quickly-melting snow was glaring back up at the sun, blinding her, and making her dizzy. He was a speck of black on the horizon. She remembered vaguely the felt of his warm black overcoat brushing her skin as his arms and the big coat enveloped her. But the feeling passed quickly like sunlight peeking through clouds, and all she could think about was how one little drop could keep it all rippling outward, forever. Even beyond where anyone could see, after they’d all gone away, it would still be spreading imperceptibly, always affecting something, somewhere. He was getting closer, but she just stood there anyway. The air was cold and empty around her. "Buffy?" He was running. She didn’t answer at first, but she looked up when he called her name. She didn’t want to know. She wanted to shut it all off now and go back home with *her* Angel. At the same time, some glowing shimmering crystalline reflection upon reflection on the line between snow and sky wouldn’t let her release the last of her hope. It hurt. But as much as she fought and cried, she still had relentless hope. "Buffy, are you okay? Where the hell have you been?" He locked her in his arms, breathing deeply. We’ve been looking all over for y-" "We?" she asked in scrutiny, trying to make sense of the universe through his posture and the tone of his voice. "I called Giles. I was worried, and he was so close and all… Then he called Cordelia and Xander, and things kinda got out of control. I was really worried. We were all worried…" "Where’s Willow?" He looked like she’d just punched him in the face. "Buffy…" What the hell was wrong with him? Her heart sunk. She was gone. Any number of things could have wrenched her daughter away from them- her worst fear realized. Or one of them. She had so many. Her daughter. Was that why she felt a hole somewhere in the fabric of things? Something was distantly aching. What could have happened- "Buffy, are you ok-" "Where is she?" She barely recognized the threatening sound as her own voice. "Buffy, why are you doing this? What’s wrong?" "Where is she?" "She’s dead. She died." "How? How did she die?" His lip was trembling, and he bit back something threatening to explode. "I killed her Buffy." There was blinding fire behind her eyes for a minute as Angelus’ sneer crossed her memory. She wanted to strike out at him. Then before she could move at all, that same light illuminated something else, and she nearly collapsed. He didn’t mean their Willow. He meant Willow Rosenberg. Their Willow didn’t exist. *** END, part 26 (I think) _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 18:21:10 EDT From: ingrid29@juno.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" part 27 DISCLAIMER: The characters aren’t mine. SUMMARY: Is *this* the end? No! I’m sorry!! Ok, anyway, Buffy and Angel are on the way home, and she finds out what’s become of the rest of the gang in this universe, but everything is not what it seems. IF YOU haven’t ever seen "Reunion" before, that’s b/c I just resurrected my computer, and I haven’t posted in years. If you would like previous parts, just e-mail me, and I’ll be happy to send them to you (That is if I can still start my computer up)! AS MY COMPUTER continues to crash, I’m becoming more and more disgruntled. If I suddenly disappear from the list for a year or two, you’ll know why! *** "Reunion" by Ingrid Part 27: "Reality" *** She remembered looking out the window on the plane as the white hills slowly gave way to green, and then the crowded airport terminals, and his hands guiding her in the right direction. It was almost as if she couldn’t process the world presented to her. How was she to mourn for someone who never existed? She thought of the two of them together; those same big hands that were guiding her now cradling the child. But he had no idea what was lost. She watched the signs on the road now. It was late, and it reminded her of going home after a vacation. That tired, deflated feeling. It was over, and now the unpacking remained to be done. "Now Entering Sunnydale," she read, and suddenly she sat up in her chair and looked at Angel. "Sunnydale?" "Yeah, where we live. Buffy, are you okay? I don’t understand what happened to you-" "You said Giles was close before. Where does he live?" "He lives where he’s lived ever since we’ve known him." "And Xander and Cordelia?" "Buffy, they’re down the block. Come on, talk to me. What’s the matter?" "And you talk to Giles. His leg didn’t get smashed. OhmyGodhislegdidn’tgetsmashed. And that’s why. But what about Corin?" "Corin? What are you talking about?" "The slayer, Angel. Where is she?" "The new slayer? You said they said she was in German-" "And Cordy’s not the watcher, but it’s supposed to be destiny, so how could that be? How could it happen like that? How could they change it? How could they let this happen? Spike killed my baby!" She was crying now, finally grieving. She felt the car still as he pulled over and pulled her into his arms. "You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong, Buffy." "What’s wrong?" She broke away fiercely, tears running freely down her face. She looked at the sky, black and starless, "HOW COULD YOU?" she screamed, but she couldn’t hear it. The sky had turned gold and it was all gone. *** END, 27 Hmm… I wrote this while listening to Radiohead’s "Exit Music (For a Film)" – I just got the CD, "OK Computer" b/c of a friend’s recommendation. I also recommend. =) _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 20:13:10 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Reflections 3/7 Title~ Reflections 3/7 Author~Shani Timeline~ let’s say between Go Fish and Becoming I & II--Becomings will not happen here Summary~ Angelus becomes Angel, but has some thinking to do before going to Buffy...if he decides to go to Buffy at all. Disclaimer~ The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended. Story for entertainment purposes only. Feedback~ YES, YES, YES, YES!! Please send all comments to TruPhile@aol.com “It says ‘...and he shall walk under the infuence and direction of evil. A man of a stone heart and a mind of clay. Written on his left hand a word of truth, love, and death. This the Slayer will fight. On the four-hundredth day following the Harvest, the Slayer shall fall to this creature of stone.’ I recognize this from an old Jewish myth. A man of clay and stone is brought to life by writting the hebrew letters aleph, mem, and tuff. I think they spell the word ‘emet’...it means truth.” Willow explained. “Yes, yes very good. Umm, do you know how to stop it?” Giles asked, his hopes rising. “You have to erase to letter aleph from the Golam’s hand. Th-that’s what I think it’s called. A golam. Anyway, by taking off the aleph, you’re left with the word ‘met’ meaning death.” Willow finished. “So...I have to fight a moving statue and the only way to ‘kill’ it is to erase some letter thing off it’s hand? But...it says I’ll die anyway...” Buffy’s voice trailed off. “We don’t know that you die,” Xander said, refusing to believe that Buffy would die anytime soon. “It says you fall. Maybe you just bruise your arm or something.” “Right, I bruise my arm. So, what do we do?” Buffy said, turning to her Watcher. “I’m afraid there is not much we can do. Why don’t you go home. Maybe you can catch up on sleep or God forbid your homework,” Giles suggested. “Sleep it is,” the Slayer said as she walked out of the room. She stopped. “Giles, when is the ‘four-hundredth day following the harvest’?” she asked, hoping that they had some time. “Tomorrow night.” the Watcher replied softly, unable to make eye contact with Buffy. As difficult as she could be, she was a good slayer, and a good friend. He finally managed to look up, only to see Willow, Xander and Cordelia staring at the swinging library doors. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Angel began to pace. As he walked past a set of shelves with glass doors, he caught a glimps of his reflection. Startled, he walked to it and stared at his image. It was beginning to make a strange sort of sense now. The dream in the field where he was watching himself in the mirror, the strange feelings, Buffy not being able to sense the demon last night in the grave yard, the hunger without wanting blood...he was human. But, how could that be? He took two stakes that he had in a drawer, from when he helped Buffy hunt--if you considered making out in a graveyard hunting. He put the stakes together, forming a cross. Nothing happened. He didn’t feel any pain holding the wooden cross. Taking a deep breath, he opened his front door. It was time to see Buffy. If he wasn’t human he would die, but if he was... ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #248 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)