From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #271 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Wednesday, July 22 1998 Volume 02 : Number 271 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 7/? BUFFYFIC: Capeside #11 BUFFYFIC: I Reached Out (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Long Distance (1/1) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 22:07:08 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 7/? Title~ Libidinous 7/? Author~ Shani Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all human actions Summary~ A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists. Involves characters from General Hospital, but yoiu don’t have to watch GH to understand this fic. I did change a thing or two around for you GH fans. Disclaimer~ All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. “I Don’t Know” belongs to Celine Dion and can be found on her “Falling Into You” cd. All characters of General hospital belong to ABC. Chapter 7, I Don’t Know Angel was trapped within his own body. He wanted to scream. He wanted to break free, but was unable. He had no control over his actions. His only weapon against his invader was thought. Even thought was difficult. It was as if he were suspended in nothingness. He heard what Arcanus forced out of his mouth. He knew the actions Arcanus performed using his body, but he felt nothing. Just numbing cold. Though he fought with everything he thought he had, Arcanus remained in control. For a moment, Angel shut his thoughts down. Only then did he hear the thoughts of Arcanus. ‘Give up, for you are weak. Once I destroy the Slayer, I will choose a new body, and we will rule together.’ Angel didn’t reply. ‘He planned to destroy Buffy. This demon planned to destory *his* Buffy and rule over...well, what exactly? The world, no, Arcanus is not that stong. Port Charles? It’s possible.’ Angel found a new motivation to fight. It was a stength he hadn’t recognized in himself before. He would fight for Buffy. He had an advantage that she didn’t, he could get inside Arcanus’ thoughts. Angel let himself drift. He drifted into his mind, a mind that was being controlled by a demon. Angel could sense Arcanus’ thoughts and memories. He had done quite a bit of damage in his time. ‘He escaped from Hell with me. How is that possible?’ He knew what he had to do. Buffy would face Arcanus eventually. Angel could try to regain control now, but knew that he would loose. For now, he would remain tucked away within himself, saving strength, storing energy, and gaining knowledge. He would stike when Arcanus was distracted, when he faced the Slayer. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 19:51:02 -0700 From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Capeside #11 TITLE: Capeside: the Hellmouth #11 Lycanthrope AUTHOR: Taygeta E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com DISTRIBUTION: Sure...just tell me where it's gonna go. RATING: PG SERIES: A Dawson's Creek/Buffy Crossover DISCLAIMER: The characters and any other reference to Dawson's Creek are the property of, creator, Kevin Williamson. The characters portrayed and in reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to its creator Joss Whedon, and it's owners Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, they do not belong to me and I am just borrowing them. No copyright infringement is intended. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Capeside: the Hellmouth #11 Lycanthrope By: Taygeta Buffy and Xander stood with widened eyes at the werewolf-type form that Joey held. Silence was probably the best word to describe it all…utterless, absolute…silence. Rustling leaves and pounding hiking boots on foliage broke the quiet and the two Sunnydale residents eyed the heavily-breathing Capeside Slayerettes with an expression that read, "What's going on?" "Joey…are you okay?" Jen asked cautiously as she looked at her appearance altered best friend. "I'm fine…just leave him alone," she insisted, "He didn't mean any harm…he thought we were going to hurt him…I was too close. He didn't mean to bite me, it just happened." "Um…all righty," frowned Xander as he slowly approached her, "We got that, but what we don't get exactly is…what happened to you?" "I'm not sure," she replied as she bit her lower lip, "It doesn't matter…as long as you let him go…let him go home." Buffy walked towards her and said, "He can go home…if you think it's okay…we'll let him leave." The human she-wolf smiled appreciatively and gave the werewolf that stood distantly away, a look, it ran off and far, howling as it left, "Thanks." "We better take you to, the Watchers," Angel said tentatively and she nodded in agreement. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Fascinating," Giles muttered under his breath as he eyed Joey carefully and he glared at Ms. Calendar when she kicked his shin. She returned the look and turned to the matter at hand, "As far as I can tell, Joey, your body absorbed some of the werewolf saliva and took it through your blood stream. Although there wasn't enough of it to turn you completely into the creature you came upon, there was just enough of it to turn you into this." "Joey, can you revert back into your old state?" Giles questioned curiously, "It may work in the same sense as Dawson's transformation abilities of human and vampire." "Well, I don't know… how exactly does a vampire/human transformation work?" she asked with raised eyebrows as she glanced at Dawson. The blonde vampire sat beside her, his smooth skin altered into his rough ragged game face, and she observed him as he took a few breaths and the reverse took process. "It's all a matter of want for a vampire…it was hard for me to change from vampire to human again after the spell, but I wanted to look human again and it worked." "Okay, it can't hurt to give it a try," she said and she took a few breaths and felt her skin and face altering back to its normal self, "Do I look alright, am I severely and gratefully lacking in the fangs?" "Well it's a good thing to know that werewolf spit hasn't affected your vocabulary," Xander joked and everyone, except for Joey who laughed, gave him a look, "What? She laughed." "Okay," Buffy said as she gave Xander a light sock in the arm for his pathetic joke attempts, which by human standards was not so light, "Let me get this straight. Who do we now have on the Slayer Brigade? A witch, a wizard, a vampire with a soul, an almost wolf girl, two normal - if you can actually say that - teenagers, one college student, a librarian, a Computer Science teacher, and a slayer…is that it?" "Buffy," Xander said with a faint smile, "I think it's safe to say your secret identity is safe to us…all whacked out and not exactly of the norm nine of us." "Wonderful…" the Watchers muttered as they looked at the group of students in front of them and Ms. Calendar wondered if Slayer 101 was large enough to be an official class. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Xander and Joey roamed the graveyard armed with the usual crosses and stakes. It was another night of patrolling a few weeks later, and everyone had found themselves with a new Brigade buddy, except for Joey and Xander who were always pairing with each other as of late. After the werewolf incident, he had told Joey about his experiences inhabited by a hyena and wanted to know if she had any problems with what she had to deal and whether he could help. Although he usually joked about anything he said about his "amnesia" to the inhabitance, he remembered everything as vividly as day, but no one had been there that could relate to him that he felt comfortable talking to. He didn't want Joey to go through that, and in that alone, they had become better friends. "So, you feeling okay…it's a full moon, y'know," he asked in a concerned voice. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, "I'm fine, Xander, and the moon doesn't effect my changes, remember? I change on my own accord." "Right…I know, just wondering," he said with a shrug wishing he hadn't inquired in the first place. "You're a really sweet guy, Xander, when you're not falling, crashing, and saying stupid stuff…that leaves about 20 minutes of good Xander," she said and started to laugh at his "very funny" look. "No, seriously though, you are kind, but why on earth are you dating Druscilla? It seems to me that you have your eyes on a certain vampire slayer that you're too scared to approach." He sighed and sat down beneath a tree and she sat beside him, "Joey, I have tried. Maybe not on the continuous, but I have tried. The first time…God, I thought I was going to die, I just sort of tumbled, crashed, and burned the moment she told me, 'I don't.' Took me the entire summer to get over her…to move on, at least I thought I did. I was this close to pushing my feelings away, ignoring them, that I almost kissed my best friend, but luckily I didn't and that tension kind of fizzled out, sort of, but that's another story. Anyway, she came back and was definitely not herself because the last time I saw her she had killed this horrendous demon…kinda traumatized her for awhile. Even when she was acting her total worse - what she did…what she said - I never reached a point in my angry or my sadness to stop the way I felt about her. I couldn't ignore it, it just kept coming back, and even though I never said anything to anyone, even got myself a girlfriend in the process, it was there. Now about Druscilla, she's a nice girl once you get to know her, and I kinda see her as a friend, someone I hang out with at the Bronze sometimes, not really dating." "I'm not sure Dru thinks the same thing, but does Buffy know about any of this?" she inquired, "Have you approached her romantically in Capeside?" "I told her I loved her, which was probably the worst mistake in my entire life," he replied as he looked back on the incident, "Although I kinda wonder what would have happened if I had only turned back when she called." "Why didn't you?" Joey said curiously. He took a deep breath and began, "Because I was sick and tired of running to her every beck and call, even though for a second there I did think of going back, but than I remembered that s he was dead-set on loving Angel. So I kinda figured…what's the point?" The brunette froze and raised her eyebrows, "Wait a minute…she was in love with Angel, but she only knew him for like a month." "You swear not to saying anything?" Xander asked silently scolding himself for letting that slip, but he trusted her and when she nodded her head, he continued, "You see, we haven't exactly told you guys everything about Sunnydale. Um…back home, we had a vampire with a soul and that was Angel, and…uh…under some circumstances he kinda reverted to his evil self. He did some evil deeds as Angelus, including killing our Ms. Calendar, but you could tell that Buffy still loved him, even if she had to fight him. She's strong, Buffy is, and I think that before we got trapped in this alternate universe, she was beginning to get the strength to kill him." "So she was blinded by the image she knew of Angel and she fell in love with the one Capeside had to offer?" Joey finished and in the distance, Angel and Oz, who ended up in a patrolling pair, was hearing the entire story. The wild-haired wizard glanced at his friend, "So…the slayer chick's in love with you…what are you going to do?" "I - I haven't a clue, what to do," Angel said as he was trying to absorb all of this information, "Um…I guess I'm going to have a talk with her, but I'm getting the feeling that Xander's taking this all wrong. I mean, I'm pretty sure she's getting the distinction that I'm nothing like the Angel from Sunnydale…at least I hope so." As Oz listened intently to the college student, something caught his eye, "Uh…Ang…I think a swift exit is of the absolute necessity." "Huh…oh," came the reply as Angel's eyes widened at the group of werewolves a few feet away from them, "Run." They ran and paused at Joey and Xander, "Guys, werewolves." "Calm down," the she-wolf said as she underwent her rarely seen transformation, "I think I can talk to them…I won't let them hurt you…I promised." She approached the creatures confidently, but there was an air of wariness to her stride. One, apparently, a type of leader… which Xander thought was funny since he thought he heard Giles say something about them being typically loners, or maybe that was Sunnydale philosophy…walked towards her. They looked into each other's eyes as if communicating, and the three guys wondered, what exactly was going on. "Come home…you must come home," the creature's voice whispered in her mind with urgency. "But this is my home," Joey responded, surprised at how at ease she was in this telekinetic language, "I've lived here all my life." "But are you happy here, little one? Have the humans been able to dealt with your near transformation?" the elder wolf responded with much concern, "The Lycanthrope are more than willing to let you into our society." She smiled, "Yes, Elder, I am quite happy here…the people I love are here…and they won't treat me differently because of this gift you have set forth on me. This new found intellect and understanding for creatures other than that of mankind, and for this I thank you." "If that is your wish, child, so be it," was the creature's reply and before she broke their link she continued, "I bid you well in this life and you will always be welcomed…remember that…we shall always help one that is our own…" With that, Joey transformed back into her former self and the pack that lingered, slipped silently away with it's leader, returning to the darkness… _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1998 00:01:34 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: I Reached Out (1/1) TITLE: I Reached Out (1/1) AUTHOR: Melinda Frango EMAIL ADDRESS: Anexsin@aol.com DISTRIBUTION: It's up at Rebecca's 'Becoming' archive. http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Studio/7223/becoming.html Go check it out and let her know how much you appreciate all the work she put into it. SPOILER WARNING: After Becoming part two. RATING: PG, If you watch the show than you can read this. FEEDBACK: It would be greatly appreciated. Drop me a line telling me what you think of it. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or Angel. They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. SUMMARY: From Buffy's POV. An alternate ending to the ending of 'Becoming.' Be forewarned, it's not exactly happy, but something I'm sure many of us were thinking about. AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this a little while after 'Becoming' but I never got a chance to send it to this list. Sorry if you've read it already. :) ~~~~~~~~ I never would have lowered my sword if it wasn't the tears in his eyes that made me do so. I knew that even as hard as he tried Angelus would never be able to shed a tear. That's when I knew it was my Angel. When his face clouded over with concern when he saw the cut on my arm, I had no more doubts. Willow did this, I know she did. She restored his soul, I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay her. He didn't remember what happened, didn't remember what had been going on the past few months. When he does the pain and guilt will overwhelm him. I'll be there though. I'll be there to reassure him it wasn't his fault. I'll be there as he's been there for me. All thoughts flew out of my mind as he drew me into his arms in a tight hug. I couldn't stop the tears from leaving my eyes. It has been to long and I closed my eyes to savor the moment. The wound in my heart started to close up slowly; it started to heal now that I knew he was back, but it bursted open once again when I opened my eyes and saw the statues mouth open and the vortex begin to form. 'No, not now, please! I just got him back!" my mind screamed. I was so caught up in thoughts of having Angel back with me I completely forgot that Angelus had pulled the sword and inevitably the vortex opened and now needed to be closed. I would have to sacrifice Angel for the world. He didn't deserve that; to be sacrificed for the world. Angelus did, this is all his fault. Not Angel's. Why won't fate ever let me be happy? Have I done something so wrong that I had to lose my love twice? He drew away from me and looked into my eyes. He must've felt my body tense up, he always knew when something was wrong. When he asked me what was going on I told him not to worry about it. I didn't want him to know, didn't want to get into it. Not when I only had a few more minutes with him. I brought my hand up to touch his face. I memorized every detail, I would never forget this face. I was being selfish. I brought my lips up to meet his and kissed him. It would be our last kiss, but as he returned it he didn't know that. I told him I loved him as the tears threatened to overflow again. When he told me he loved me too my heart sank even more, he was making this so hard. He closed his eyes when I asked him to. He always had so much trust in me and so much faith that I would do the right thing. Please, God, let him forgive me. Let him know I never would have done what I'm about to do if it wasn't for the world. I drew my hand back and without hesitation I plunged my sword into his chest. His eyes flashed open and he looked at me with a betrayed look in them. I couldn't stand it. If he had to suffer, I was going to suffer with him. When he called my name and reached out for me, I bid a silent goodbye to my friends and family and I reached out and grasped his hand tightly as the vortex closed around us both. I saw the last glimpse of my world as it closed; my hand was still tightly wrapped in Angel's. We were in darkness, in Hell, but at least we were together. The End ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1998 00:01:44 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Long Distance (1/1) TITLE: Long Distance (1/1) AUTHOR: Melinda Frango EMAIL ADDRESS: Anexsin@aol.com DISTRIBUTION: Rebecca can have it for her 'Becoming' archive, if she wants it. SPOILER WARNING: After Becoming part two. RATING: PG, If you watch the show than you can read this. FEEDBACK: It would be greatly appreciated. Drop me a line telling me what you think of it. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy, Willow, or any other character mentioned. They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. SUMMARY: About two months after Buffy left Sunnydale, she contacts Willow via the telephone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hello," Willow answered, softly after the telephone rang for the tenth time. She had tried to ignore the insistant ringing, hoping that whoever was trying to contact her would get the idea that she wanted to be left alone. However it didn't seem to be working out the way she wanted it to. Ever since Buffy had left, she had felt. . . alone. Sure she had Xander, Giles, Oz, and sometimes even Cordelia, but they weren't Buffy. She couldn't talk to any of them the way she did with Buffy. Buffy always listened to anything she had to say, she was always there for her, even when she had problems of her own. And now without even a goodbye she was gone. She was angry about that. That Buffy had just left without saying goodbye to her, it made her feel unimportant in Buffy's eyes. "Willow?" the voice on the other end of the line asked, hesitantly, unsure. "Yes, who is this?" Willow questioned, not recognizing the voice. "I-It's Buffy." Time froze in that instant. It had been almost two months since the Slayer had left Sunnydale and now right out of the blue, when Willow least expected it she decides to call. She snapped back into reality when she realized Buffy was calling her name. "Buffy? Oh, my God! Where have you been? Are you okay? Where are you? When are you coming home? What happened?" Willow rambled off every question that her mind had been asking. "I'm fine, Willow," Buffy assured. "I can't tell you where I am or you'll come looking for me and I don't want to be found, and I don't know when. . . or even if I'll be coming home. Willow sighed. "Tell me what happened," she pleaded. There was a long silence before Buffy answered, probably gathering her thoughts or building up the courage to tell her best friend what drove her away. "It was awful, Willow. I feel so empty inside. Like I don't have a reason to be anymore," she confessed. "D-Did the spell work?" Willow could hear Buffy let out a small whimper. Whatever happened must've have been terrible. "It worked," she replied, hoarsely. "And then I had to send him to Hell to close the portal. I got to kiss him one last time, I told him I loved him, and then I. . ." Buffy paused before continuing. "He had this look of betrayel on his face when I shoved the sword into him. He trusted me and I betrayed him. You don't know how badly I wanted to go with him. If he had to suffer I wanted to suffer with him." Willow listened from the other end of the phone; tears streamed down her face. She could feel her friends pain, her anguish, her loss, her guilt. She cried for Buffy's beaten soul and for Angel's, who didn't deserve to be put in Hell along with the demon. If only she had done the ritual earlier. "God, it hurts, Willow," Buffy sobbed. "I miss him. I got him back only to lose him again. I can't stop thinking about him, that damn look. God, I killed the man I love." "Buffy, it wasn't your fault. I'm sure he doesn't blame you. Come home, we can find a way to get him out. Please." "No, I can't. I couldn't face him. What would I say? 'Sorry for sending you to Hell, wanna go see a movie?' No, I. . . I just need to move on. I need to start over," Buffy explained. "Buffy stop running away. We need you. Angel needs you," Willow replied. "The last thing any of you need is me. I've put you in enough danger already. I already lost Angel, and I'll be damned if I lose any of you as well." "We choose to do this, Buffy. Any danger we become involved with is by choice. We know the risks and we choose to take them, to help you. And if we die doing so, at least we'll die knowing we've saved the world on occasion," Willow defended. Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She figured it would be easy to call Willow and let her know that she was alright, and now she was making her feel guilty about leaving. Willow is her best friend, one of the very few who understood her, who stood by her through thick and thin. The one who always took her side when the subject pertained Angel. It was Willow who restored his soul in time for her to say goodbye, and now Buffy was feeling uncomfortable talking to her. "I have to go. My bus is here," Buffy said, looking for the quickest way out of the conversation. "Tell everyone that I'm sorry and that I love them." "You never said goodbye. Did I mean nothing to you that I didn't even deserve a goodbye," Willow blurted out. "God, no Willow. Your my best friend. I just needed to leave, to get away from everything and if I came to say goodbye, I know I wouldn't have been able to leave. Besides goodbye sounds so. . . final. I don't want this to be final." "We miss you. Xander, Giles, me. We want you to come home. Let us help you through this." "No, I need to think about things, be by myself for awhile. It has nothing to do with you, don't believe that any of you drove me away," Buffy stated. "I really need to be going now. I'll call you again . . . sometime." Willow didn't answer, she swallowed against the lump forming in her throat. She nodded, but then realized Buffy couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'll see ya," she settled for. She heard a soft goodbye in reply and then the wail of the dial tone. "Goodbye," she whispered into the dial tone. She sat for a moment with the receiver cradled to her ear before hanging it up. She layed down on her bed abd began to sob. Buffy hung up the telephone and with a strangled sigh she ran her hand over it before leaving the phone booth and onto the bus as she made her way further from Sunnydale and her friends. The End ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #271 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)