From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #316 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Saturday, August 29 1998 Volume 02 : Number 316 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: IOHM (7/?) BUFFYFIC: The Good-Bye Girl (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 16/? BUFFYFIC: FB: Alternate Ending See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1998 08:45:37 -0700 From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: IOHM (7/?) TITLE: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo #7 Joyce AUTHOR: Taygeta E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com FEEDBACK: Yes...please...whatever the complaint DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first. RATING: PG SERIES DESCRIPTION: Buffy is blind, various POVs INSTALLMENT DESCRIPTION: Joyce's thoughts on the mattera DISCLAIMER: The characters any such reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, they do not belong to me. Copyright infringement not intended. AUTHOR'S NOTE: I think this is a *lot* better from my last installment. I actually was able to sit down, start, and finish this in 2 hours...that in itself is miraculous for me :) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Opacitatem Habitant Modo #7 Joyce By: Taygeta I remember holding her in my arms and thinking that she was the most perfect daughter in the world…my healthy, little baby with her ten toes and her ten fingers of her tiny, wrinkly hands and kicking feet. It was then that I vowed that I would never let anything harm her or hurt my little girl, but things have hurt her…things I can't even begin to understand. A mother is suppose to be able to perceive her child's life to some degree, but where was my perception? Where was my innate understanding? There must have been thousands of mothers before me…one for each innocent girl chosen…how could those that knew handle it? How could they stand idly by and watch their daughters leave their homes, not knowing if they would ever come back to be held, to be kissed, to be loved, again? I remember that two o'clock call vividly…awakened from my slumber and in the dark, I hobbled to grasp the phone beside me. The strained voice of Mr. Rupert Giles took me out of my cloudy state… …"Mr. Giles, what are you - " "Ms. Summers, I realize that this is rather late…very late, indeed, but this is a matter of urgency. Buffy…she's in the Sunnydale General hospital…s-she was attacked…s-she…please come right away," he stumbled hastily. "Attacked…who…what?" I demanded of him, "Tell me what happened? The very least you can do is tell me if she's all right." "Y-yes, she's all right, but it has been said…although not entirely confirmed - " "Just tell me…" "Ms. Summers…there's a chance that Buffy may become permanently blind…" …And I dropped the phone and froze as my mind processed what he had said. My daughter…my life…blind, that didn't seem *right* somehow. All I could think is my daughter's healthy, she was my healthy baby girl, and that it couldn't be as bad as he stated. Those thoughts were said over and over in my mind like a broken record that matched my breaking heart, in my hope that this insanity would just go away. I was prepared for the worst when I arrived at the hospital, but what I receive was a lot more than the worst. After all, I got the whole story about clueless and idiotic a mother I had been. The blood in her clothing, her strength, her late hours…so many clues…so many unanswered questions answered with the duties of her title…the title of Vampire Slayer. Vampires?! Vampires?! I hadn't thought of vampires since I saw "Dracula" years ago, but they were never real, only in nightmares too long gone to recall…too silly and wrought with superstitions to be believed. Yet, I believed that night and every day and night thereafter because in the midst of those hours of my dementia, that was the only concept that made sense to me…the only concept that was believable. Or rather, it was more that I was more willing to think vampires and demons hid in the shadows of our world than to believe that my daughter could not see. A long while after that, in those weeks where Buffy lay barely conscious and bandaged from head-to-toe, I was angry…at everything…at everybody, but mostly at myself and then at Rupert. I blamed him for not being there for my daughter…for being irresponsible, and I realized that he very much thought the same of himself when he said softly, "You're right…I am." The more I understood about that night, the more I understood that as her Watcher, he had saved her countless of times, loved her like a daughter, and looked after, and that it was vice-versa for Buffy. He wasn't to blame…no one was to be blamed for what happened. I know that now. Yet, despite all the knowledge I gained, I am still the mother of a young woman who is still very much like that little girl I saw her transform from. I can't help but think that by her want to fight those that did her wrong…that harmed her and her life, she would lose the life she was just beginning to learn to love again. I want to tell her to stop. I want to tell her to just leave it alone and live her life, but I know that no matter what I say, it's not going to stop her from fighting. I see the passion in her face and even catch a glimpse at her fiery spirit flicker in her blank stares and I don't stop her…I can't stop her. I love her…she's my daughter and whatever she decides to do, I'm going to be there to make sure that she comes out of this alive. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 13:22:59 PDT From: "Leslie S." Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Good-Bye Girl (1/1) TITLE: The Good-Bye Girl (1/1) AUTHOR: Leslie S. EMAIL: leslie_s_@hotmail.com DISTRIBUTION: If ya want it, just let me know where you put it. FEEDBACK: If you have a spare minute. RATING: PG SPOILER: Becoming SUMMARY: This is a Buffy POV story in an in-between scene that we did not see at the end of Becoming before she boarded the bus. DISCLAIMER: I acknowledge that Buffy the Vampire Slayer and associated characters were created by Joss Whedon. No copyright infringement is intended. (In other words, please don't sue me.) Many thanks to Melinda, Lynn, Kimly I stood by a tree across from the school. Thankfully, they were all there. Giles, Xander, Cordelia, Willow, and Oz, probably wondering where I was. In truth, I was wondering myself. With the pain I was feeling, with everything that had happened, I briefly wondered if perhaps Angelus had won. Was this actually *Hell*? For me it was. My life as I had known it had ended. I was no longer Buffy Summers-- daughter, friend, high school student, vampire slayer. I was Buffy Summers--outcast, murder suspect and fugitive. Part of me realized that the murder charges would be dropped. The Sunnydale Police Department was never known for its crack investigative efficiency. It, like the majority of all Sunnydale residents, was in denial. I was sure that Giles and the others would be able to convince them of my innocence. Sunnydale's finest would probably use the standard PCP/Gang scenario. Again, can you say denial? Being expelled? No real worries there. It's not like I'll *need* a diploma for slaying. It's not like I'm ever gonna have the chance to go to college and have a really great career. I once asked Giles if Slayers ever got to retire. It's not like I didn't already know the answer, but I wanted...No...I needed to hear it from him. I remember the look in his eyes. It was the same look that my mom had when she was telling me that she and my dad were getting a divorce. It was the look of a parent having to tell a child something very unpleasant and final. My mom, now that's another story. I'm sure that she didn't really mean to kick me out of the house. I'm really sorry that I did not have time to explain everything to her. But again, talk about denial... I hope that Giles can explain things to her. Giles. He was another reason I was across from the school and not hauling ass out of town. I needed him to know what happened. I owed him that. So after the bell rang, and everyone departed for their first classes, I made way to the school through the sewer tunnels. By some miracle, I found the right access tunnel and was able to get to the library through the stacks. Since it looked like nobody was there, I figured I'd be better off waiting in Giles' office just in case anybody suddenly had the desire for a book or a quiet place to study. Before I could get across the room to the office, Giles popped out carrying a cup and saucer in one hand, but I must have startled him because they went crashing to the floor. After a moment, he recovered and suggested I get into his office before anyone saw me, leaving the broken cup and saucer for the moment. I quickly made my way into his office and collapsed on the couch, dropping my bag on the ground. "Thank God you're alright. We were worried." Giles looked at me, waiting for me to speak. That's when the tears started. Again. I was vaguely aware of him sitting down next to me as he took me into his arms. It was odd to have Giles hold me like that, but I didn't fight it. He stroked my hair and murmured soothing words of comfort. For all I know, he was reciting the alphabet. After a time, I finally felt I could let go, even if I didn't want to. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. I took it and wiped my eyes and blew my nose. When I found my voice I said, "I sent him to Hell." "Angelus?" "No." I swallowed hard and tried to form the name. "Angel." "An...Angel?" Giles said tentatively, as I fought to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over again. "He pulled the sword from Acathla, and we were fighting. Just as I was abo-...about to kill him he doubled over in pain. At first, I thought it was a trick. But it wasn't. It was Angel. My Angel." I blew my nose again. "So there I am thinking that everything was gonna be OK. Then I noticed the vortex opening.......*OH GOD GILES. I HAD TO DO IT.* I had to." Giles wrapped his arms around me and just held me as I convulsed with tears. He rocked me back and forth telling me how sorry he was. I have no idea how we sat there, but I do remember that it was the first time that I had felt safe in a long time. When I was finally able to myself under control, I slowly pulled away. It was the second hardest thing I had ever done. I got up and started pacing the room. Giles knew I wanted to tell him something, as he was looking at me expectantly. "I came to say good-bye. I need to get out of Sunnydale for a while. So much has happened, you know?" "Buffy, I th-" "No Giles," I began cutting him off. "In case you forgot, I'm wanted for murder. Oh, and did I mention that my mother knows about me and kicked me out of the house??? And of course, let's not forget that Herr Snyder expelled me yesterday." "These are all things we can deal with Buffy. The others can attest to the fact the you did not kill Kendra. And well, I suppose it is time to explain things to your mother. As far as Snyder is concerned, he cannot expel you without first calling a board of review." "Please Giles," I pleaded. "I just need to get away for a few days...to sort things out." "Think about it for a moment would you?" "I have thought about it Giles. Besides, I didn't come here to ask your permission. I came here to let you know what happened and to tell you I was going." "I see. And have you thought about where you'll go?" I shook my head no. Giles stood and went over to his desk . He took his keys, opened up one of the drawers, and pulled out a manila envelope. "Since I doubt that any argument I might make will dissuade you, you'd better have this." The envelope Giles handed me bulged at the bottom. I opened it and dumped the contents onto his desk . I was shocked to find a sizeable stack of used $20s, an ID bearing my picture with a false name, an index card with an LA address in on it and a key taped to it, and an open bus ticket to Los Angeles. I looked to Giles for an explanation. "You can never be too prepared. I always figured it would be a good idea to have a bolt-hole for you in case things got too rough. It seems I was right." "Good thinking," I replied as I shoved the contents of the envelope into various pockets. I examined the ID. The picture of me wasn't that great, but it looked real enough. "How on earth did you get this ID? Did Willow help?" "Let's just say that I wasn't always a librarian and leave it at that shall we?" I nodded and reached down for my bag. "Will you talk to my mom? Explain things to her?" "I had hoped it wouldn't ever come to that, but under the circumstances I suppose there is no choice. Now about the apartment...There is plenty of canned food and those frozen, uh television, dinners. The phone is in working order, so I expect you to call me when you get there. Understood?" "Understood. And Giles?" "Mm?" Giles responded, looking at his watch. "Thanks. For everything." "You're welcome Buffy. Now if you hurry, you can catch the 10:30 bus to Los Angeles." Saying good-bye, I hugged Giles one last time, reveling in the safe feeling it gave me. When I pulled away, I asked him to let the others know that I was OK, but not to let them know where I had gone. He nodded his agreement as he walked over to the door to make sure the coast was clear. I quickly made my way through the stacks and back into the tunnels. As I sit here now on the bus to LA, I look out the window reflecting on the past few months. I see the sign "Now Leaving Sunnydale-Come back soon!" and I think to myself: Maybe. - -Fin- **************************************************** Check out the Garden Patch (includes 4 whole fan fics I have written plus any works in progress) http://beavis.intercom.net/~lilsprout ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 19:07:44 EDT From: TruPhile@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 16/? Title~ Libidinous 16/? Author~ Shani Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all human actions Summary~ A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists. Involves characters from General Hospital, but yoiu don’t have to watch GH to understand this fic. I did change a thing or two around for you GH fans. This one’s basically fluff. Disclaimer~ All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. “There’s No Me Without You” belongs to Babyface. All characters of General hospital belong to ABC. ~Special thanks to Angie, who provided this song, inspiration and support. Chapter 16, There’s No Me Without You. “Turned ro dust? A cross...” Giles mumbled. “Buffy, can you describe the dream?” She gave a quick nod, then told them of her dream. Stefan and Nikolas joined the group and listened along with the rest. Giles was very excited about the news. He tried not to show it, but he’s a watcher, not an actor. The group once again dispersed, this time with more information. Willow went to her lap top, hoping that some techno-pagen site would give her the knowledge they so desperately needed. Buffy went with Giles, Xander, Nikolas and Stefan each on there own. Angel, however, didn’t move. < You told me everything would be cool Said I wouldn't always feel blue How come I feel like a wreck How come the skies are all gray How come my eyes are all red Why am I alone in bed> He couldn’t. In both dreams she had seen him unable to help her. The thought horrified him to say the least. He watched her. She was bent over a book, looking at something that Giles was pointing out. She looked up at him. She held his gaze for a moment, smiling through the fear and pain that she hid so well. Angel sat down at the table. *** “Angel?” “B...Buff? Buffy?” He asked, not trusting his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Buffy began to cry. He moved toward her, shaking his head. “I’m so proud of you, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” He said gently. “A...” Angel cut her off with a kiss. *** Angel opened his eyes, he hadn’t realized that he had fallen asleep. That dream, those memories... He had been able to touch her, to kiss her then. She hadn’t been worried or afraid. She hadn’t been in danger. Angel looked at her again. She didn’t see him this time. He watched her read the pages along with Giles. She looked so perfect, and he didn’t know what he would do if she were to get hurt. < You told me everything would be fine Why am I losing my mind How come I feel like a fool Why do I keep losing you Why do I love in despair When you're not there> There would be nothing that he could do. What would be the point of ever doing anything again? A tear tricked down his cheek. He felt something brush against it. Angel smiled. Buffy ‘sat’ on his lap as best she could in her current state. “It’s gonna be ok.” She whispered to him. “Everything’s gonna be alright.” < There's no me without you There's no meaning to life without you Tell me why should I care 'bout doing my hair When I can't stop the thinking about you There's no moon without you There's no Saturday nights without you There's no walk through the park No beat in my heart No I love you, No I can't live without you> Giles watched from the table he and Buffy had been at. Angel wasn’t the only one worried about Buffy. Everyone continued to glance over at the pair, thought they all felt differently about what they saw, they all wanted her safe. Their friend, their soulmate, their Slayer. < So blue for you So deep in love with you So hard to say bye-bye When you know how hard I've tried I, I, I tried baby No No No No> ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1998 15:17:12 -0700 From: NightHunter Subject: BUFFYFIC: FB: Alternate Ending I was cleaning out some old files in my hard drive and found this it was an alternate ending to the Final Battle thought that some of you might like to see where I could have gone. If you read the first ending let me known which one you liked better NightHunter Final Battle (3/3) Alternate Ending The watcher task force lead by a very angry Buffy and Xander surrounded the place of the new vampire Lord. Preparing for an all out assault on him because no one takes their children. The door to the place opened and a legend of Vampires surged forth. With one purpose on their minds total destruction of ever last human. The Watchers attacked in masses using new weapons designed for the purpose of destroying only Vampires the Sun Guns. Soon the battle was joined hundreds died in the assault. Buffy surged forth into battle, only to be stopped by a flash of light. Fizzgag the last of the feline mages appeared. "Buffy it's time. Prepare yourself for the Final Battle who's out come will decided the fate of not only this world but the very Universe." Said Fizzgag Then in another flash on light Buffy and Xander find themselves inside the throne room of The Master. The sight that greeted them was of their children. Hanging from the ceiling by a rope over a ring of fire. "No!" Yelled Buffy using her Slayer speed to leap high into the air grabbing her children. But, just as she began her descent she feels an arrow pierce her heart. "NO! DAMN YOU!" Yelled Xander his anger so great, that for the first time, he no longer tried to fight. His inner demon letting all of his rage out. In a yell so powerful, that the battle that raged outside came to a halt. The Master looked on as a transformation begin. Giant Wings begin ripping out of Xander's back. His hands became like steel claws. For the first time in many millennium The Master knew fear. The last vestige of humanity faded from Xander's eyes leaving only rage. Letting out a primal scream, the creature that had been Xander leaped high into the air, his leather wings flapping fast. The Master was driven back, as he falls the creature lands on top of him. It's claws digging deep into his undead flesh. Until, finally nothing but small strips of decaying flesh were left. But still, the creatures rage was not sated. Using it's great strength, it tore through the steel walls of the place. Descending into the court yard it's claws ripping apart ever vampire it could find. Until finally, there were none left. As it's rage continued to burn, it felt a familiar presence behind it and turned to see Willow carring two very scared little girls. "Xander you have to come back for their sake." Said Willow tears flowing down her face As Willow approached him he growled. Then, in as flash of pure white light Buffy appeared in front of him. Her hand touched his face all the rage and anger disappeared leaving only a crying Xander. "God Buffy! I need you, I can't do it by myself." Cried Xander "Xander your not alone, ever, look!" Replied Buffy pointing to a crying Willow. When Xander turned and looked he saw everything clearly for the first time, Willow was always there for him wanting to be noticed. "She'll be there for you all the time Xander." said Buffy slowly moving to Willow. She said, "Look after him Willow and treat our children as your own. Then I'll know that everything will be alright." "I will Buffy, you were the best friend that I ever had. I love you." Said Willow tears running down her face. She started to brake down then she felt a strong arm embrace her. "Well, go on, Good-Bye Buffy, I will never forget you" Said Xander holding Willow and his children tight against him. As the light started to fade Xander swore that he could see Angel. Waiting for her in the tunnel of light. He felt himself hoping that the real Angel was waiting for her. As they turned to start home Willow looked down to find a crystal band around her arm, then she heard a majestic voice. "As one passes so is another chosen. Go forth my child and know that the time of evil is over." Said the Voice Then as everyone looked on. The sky was ripped asunder as a place of pure white light descend. As the light dimmed, everyone could see them, thousand upon thousand of Angels. And for the first time all over the world the peace that so many had fought and died for became realized. The Human spirit had over come. The forces of Good had been victorious in this the Final Battle. This Armageddon. **************************************************** Well, I have finally brought to an end what I started in Her Darkest Hour. When I started this I was never sure where I was going. I begin to see that maybe some thing's were never ment to be. So, things change, Buffy in death is with the real Angel. Xander and Willow have each other, though where they will go. Only time will tell and they'll both have their hands full with Buffy's two girls. Will I ever come back to this Universe? Well never say never. Special Note: To those of you who read My first story Her Darkest Hour a few things were changed from the original draft. Buffy's mother is killed, not in a coma. It had a much darker ending but when a pissed off Slayer holds a wooden stake to your heart-well, you re-write. ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #316 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)