From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #383 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Tuesday, December 1 1998 Volume 02 : Number 383 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Twilight (4/?) BUFFYFIC: Hopless Hope (4/6) BUFFYFIC: Twilight (6/?) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 20:21:57 EST From: Titanic437@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: Twilight (4/?) TITLE: Twilight AUTHOR: Shadows (Titanic437@aol.com) DISTRIBUTION: E-mail me for a fic-permit DISCLAIMER: They're not mind . . . they're Zeus', otherwise known as Joss. I do not want to upset the gods. Twilight - Chapter 4 "And the nightmare rides on" -Behold! The Nightmare, Smashing Pumpkins "I'm not going to school today." It was 3:00, and Buffy was having a nervous breakdown. Her nerves were shot all over because she kept remembering what had happened just a few hours ago. She couldn't believe that they thought . . . and she tried her best to think, to know, that they were wrong. On the other end of the telephone line, a sleepy Willow was listening to Buffy's laments with only half her brain. "But you have to go to school," she said, yawning. She stretched her arms, wondering if she was going to get back to sleep. "But how can I face them? Xander, Giles . . . they're hurt so bad. A-and I don't know what to do." She knew perfectly well what to do, but every single fiber of her being compelled her not to. "You have to accept that they are going through difficult times," Willow said. She had just spent an entire hour and half listening to Xander over the telephone at the police station, and for some reason, she was a little bit more sympathetic towards him . . . never mind, she knew why. "They've been hurt pretty bad Buffy . . . they're not gonna get over this easily. This is going to take a lot of time, and they might never get over it." Ah, Willow. Buffy had thought she could give her a pick-me-up; instead, Willow was just digging her deeper. "I guess I'll just avoid then both," Buffy concluded dejected, letting the phone go slack in her hand. "No matter how hard that would be." Willow yawned loudly into the phone. "For the best," she mumbled. Then, "Are you going to get some sleep?" "Yeah, and you should get some too." Willow hadn't mentioned that she had just gotten a brief 15 minutes of rest in between her two best friends' agony. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, Buffy hung up. Willow placed the phone back in the receiver and groaned. "Whatever happened to 'Dear Abby'?" she wondered as she slid back into bed, pulling the covers contently over her small body. She snuggled into her pillow and prayed to God that Giles didn't suddenly have the hankering to call on her so that he could unload his remorse. "Goodnight, Cow," she said, patting the beanie baby that slept on the side of her pillow. Then she closed her eyes. The phone rang. Willow said a very nasty word she heard her father say one morning not too long ago and threw off her covers. She stomped out of bed and yanked the phone out of the receiver. How was she going to be able to wake up for school tomorrow if she got no sleep? "Giles?" Willow asked sweetly, keeping her annoyance somewhat in check. "No, it's me, Xander." Willow's face went sympathetic and she sat down tiredly on her bed. "I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow after all." - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ - ---------------------------- Although his Aunt Janie and Uncle Todd had offered to take him in before they could locate his father, Xander had asked them and the officials if he could stay home for just a few more days, to be alone in the place that he would probably never see again. They had agreed: they were nice like that. But now, he wanted to be alone. He had gone straight to sleep as soon as he had gone home, flopping on the couch and only waking up to talk to Willow and tell her what had happened. Then he had stared at the unplugged TV, remembering how his mother had hated it, because it never worked. Only the one in his room had worked, and since nobody wanted to move it, Xander would have to put up with her in his room constantly, watching LIFE and talking to all her girlfriends and clients from work. It was one of his memories of her, one of the millions, but only one of the few that he actually didn't mind. Now, the large digital clock sitting atop the TV blinked "12:00" in large, glaring numbers. Xander's stomach rumbled hungrily, but nothing on earth could make him ever go to that kitchen again. So instead, he reached for his backpack, unzipped the front pack and began to munch the snacks he always kept there. He was happily munching on an Oreo when he realized that it was rather bland. He picked up the bag that it had come from and turned it over to read the date. Still fresh, he thought. Weird. He gobbled the rest of the Oreo up anyway, and wiped off the mess on his chin. Probably Nabisco had gotten something screwed up along the way, leaving him with stale cookies. "Oh well, chocolate always has a taste," he sighed, grabbing a half-eaten Hershey bar and peeling off the silver wrapping. He took a large bite of this chocolatey goodness, and let the candy stuff do magick with his mouth. Nothing happened. It was like drinking water-just no taste. Xander frowned and checked the date on the Hershey bar-not stale, and not even close to the expiration date. Groaning, Xander got up and hobbled to the bathroom. Dutifully, he dressed his toothbrush and slowly and methodically brushed his teeth hard. Then he used Scope three times and scraped his tongue, just wanting to get rid of whatever was crapping up his junk food lunch, not even caring that he was hygienically taking care of himself, an action unheard of with teenage boys. Xander leaned over the sink and spit out the remaining Scope he had in his mouth, remembering this time not to swallow it. Since the water was already there, he splashed his face a little bit to wake himself up. Then, out of habit, he looked up to the mirror to check out his reflection. And didn't see it. For just a moment, Xander went to turn off the faucet, but then he was so shocked he turned it on to the highest power. He looked back up to mirror, his heart leaping to his throat. To his great relief, his reflection was indeed there. "See, Xander, your reflection's not disappearing. You're not a, not a . . ." He couldn't say the word, but he felt an immense feeling of relief. For a moment there he had been scared, but now- And then, right before his witnessing eyes, his reflection flickered, and then faded altogether. Xander stood gaping in front of the mirror for quite some time, and then his mouth just dropped five feet to the floor. He stumbled out the bathroom, unable to keep his eyes off the mirror until it was out of his sight. "Shit," he whispered softly. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ----------------------------- "So then he said 'It's purple, not blue', so Jake got so pissed off he ran out with Maria just five seconds later against her will. This can be big." Willow was seated at the computer with Buffy, the two females reading the synopses of their favorite soap operas at the official web sites. Of course, Giles thought they were searching for demon-oriented sites on the Internet, but girls would be girls. "Well, it is already big, but if Geoffrey would stop lying about this whole thing than Maria could finally get together with Tim," Buffy observed. She tapped the computer screen. "Next soap." Willow let go of the mouse and was typing in the Internet address of All My Children when the doors to the library burst open. Xander stormed in, and Buffy flinched reflexively, moving behind the computer for safety. Willow stood up and started with "Xander-" but he cut her off with a wave of his hand. "I can't see my reflection anymore!" Willow and Buffy were stunned, and Giles made his appearance at the top of the stairs. "What?" they all asked. "I-can't-see-my-reflection," Xander spit out rapidly, starting to pace back and forth, hands clasped tightly behind his back. "You all know what he, I, did, and I can't see my reflection, so am I demon or what?" His voice was rising. "I'm not in the mirror and I can't taste food! OK! What, do I grow fangs next?!" Giles mouth was the first to start working again. "Xander, are you on medication?" he asked tentatively, afraid Xander was going to blow up at him. "NO!" Xander yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. He stopped pacing for a moment. "Well, yes, but that has nothing to do with this! I was not in the mirror. You don't imagine that." "Xander," Giles continued, his voice warm. "Have you seen anything else strange that might have been the cause due to your medication?" Xander thought about this for a moment. "Well, I kept hearing voices telling me to eat Cap'n Crunch-but that's not the point! This is the real thing!" "Maybe Giles is right, Xander," Willow said gently. "You could be hallucinating that your reflection has disappeared. And maybe the medication did something to your tongue, or you're sick with something else. You were very weak, and you could've caught anything-" "Is anybody listening to me?" Xander yelled, exasperated. He marched up the stairs and passed Giles, till he stood in front of the mirror. He pointed at it and then stared at the three other people in the library. "Come see for yourselves!" Willow, Buffy, and Giles hesitantly came up behind him. They stared into the mirror. Three out of the four people standing there were reflected in the glass. "Oh dear," Giles said. End of Chapter 4 once I get over my writer's block, there will be a chapter 5 feedback is so majorly wanted! good or bad! be harsh if you must! ~Shadows~ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 20:25:51 EST From: RCCOLA503@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hopless Hope (4/6) Title: Hopeless Hope (4/6) Author: Meg R-C Distribution: Sure, but just tell me first Feedback: Pretty please with a cherry on top! Disclaimer: I own nothing. The basis for this story belongs to Anya, and the characters belong to Joss Whedon and the WB Rating: If you can watch the show, you can read this Summary: A sequel to Anya's Gone. Xander is dying and his final wish is for the gang to be reunited. Xander and I had been talking for an hour. Just talking, the way we used to. He told me what had happened to everyone: my parents, his parents, Buffy's parents, Cordelia, Miss Calender, Giles, and Angela. "The Anointed one thought it was an awfully good joke, turning her loved ones into the things she hated most. He thought that she would never stake them, and he would have a slayer-proof army. Or if she did stake them, he figured it would break her, either way she would become weak enough for him to kill. "But she did stake them, one after another they came, and one after another they died -- all by her own hand. And she didn't break, she just kept fighting harder. "She was seven months pregnant when she faced the Anointed One. He had tried to bite her womb, and that was his final mistake. Nobody messes with the Slayer's kids." Xander paused to smile, "She flew into such a rage when he tried, none of the vamps could hold her. "She must have taken out twenty vamps single-handedly that night -- including the Annointed One. In the end he was cowering at the tip of her stake, the coward we always knew he was." Xander finished with a satisfied smile on his face, lost in the memory of the death of the creature that had caused him so much pain. Had caused me so much pain. I'm not a violent person, but after almost five years of feeling the demon stirring within me I'd grown bitter. I wish that I had been there when that sonuvabitch turned to ash as his kingdom collapsed aroung him. That would have made the rest of my eternal life. "Willow," Xander's voice had grown quiet, and I noticed how much more tired he had grown in the last hour. How could I have missed that? I should go, let him rest. "Yeah?" I couldn't tear myself away. After almost five years I finally had him back, and knowing that I would lose him again in a week or so, I couldn't leave after just an hour. "Promise me something?" "Anything." I would do anything for you Xander Harris. I will never break my promise, for the rest of my immortal life. I wouldn't let him down, I wouldn't dissapoint him again. The day I break his promise is the day I take a stake to my own heart. "Promise me you'll never leave Buffy. No matter what she does, no matter what she says, you'll never leave her. If she leaves, track her down, follow her. Especially in sixty years or so when Hope dies. Don't let her close up and dissapear, because that will destroy her." "I promise. But Xander," I heisitated, "Buffy won't be alive when Hope dies. As a Slayer her life span is at most twenty-one. Buffy is, at twenty-two, the oldest Slayer in history." I stopped, waiting for his reaction. To my surprise, he smiled. Shaking his head, he told me, "Willow, Buffy's immortal. The only way for her to die is if Angel swings a sword covered in his blood and decapitates her. 'And the Eternal Slayer shall rise, and naught shall destroy her but the sword bearing true love's blood swung by true love's hand', was the exact phrase the Codex used. Buffy was immortal. Shock ran through me like fire. I would never lose my best friend, my best friend would never die! No more worrying that she would come home because of demons, no more worrying that this good-bye would be the last. Only Angel could kill her, and he never would. Looking down at Xander, my joy faded. I was wrong, my best friend was dying. While before I left Buffy and I had grown close, Xander was still my best friend. And he was dying, and in two weeks he would be gone. There was no joy in eternal life, because then you were always the one to say good-bye. Now Buffy would have to live with her pain and sorrow over lost friends, and a lost child forever. For all eternity she would be damned to hear the sickening snap as her baby's life ended. And someday, in very few years, she would have to say good-bye again, this time to Hope, her last remaining daughter. It was a cruel twist of fate that made Buffy the Slayer, and an even crueler one that forced her to live a life of immortal pain. Even after all these years Xander could still read my thoughts. "That's why I need you to stay with her. Just because her body is immortal, that doesn't mean her heart is. She doesn't let on, but I know she's taking my illness badly, and I know that she has somehow rationalized a way to blame herself. What I'm asking you is to keep her alive, not in body, but in mind, heart, and soul. She's going to crack, she keeps it all bottled up inside. I'm asking you to be there when she does, to pick up the peices and glue her back together." I looked him straight in the eye, knowing this would be the easiest and hardest promise I would ever make. Buffy was my friend, and I loved her, and she needed me. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I promise." And with that Alexander Harris, twenty-two year old Sunnydale resident, the last remaining Slayerette, the man who would give everything for his friends, and the only man I ever loved, close his eyes, and faded away to a happier place. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1998 03:43:38 EST From: Titanic437@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: Twilight (6/?) TITLE: Twilight AUTHOR: Shadows DISTRIBUTION: E me at Titanic437@aol.com DISCLAIMER: No, your Honor, I never claimed that these were my characters. That woul be lying. I was falsely accused, sir! They're out to get me! The voices . . . Twilight - Chapter 6 =09=09"Locked up in here =09=09 Thinking silent, dormant thoughts =09=09 Which I never dreamed I would ever be thinking =09=09 But now I'm alone and everything's changed =09=09 It's cold and dark and lonely =09=09 And they'll never be anybody but me who'll understand =09=09 What's happening all the sudden, 'cause I'm unique =09=09 And no matter what they say, that's not a good thing at all." =09=09 -Left Behind, =A9 Luisa Matos, 1998 "Xander woke me up around two in the morning. Said that my mom would be worried. Said-" sniff, "-that I should go home right away while I still ha= d a mother. He said, 'Who knows who Angel'll kill next in the name of Buffy?' = So I said good-night, and then left him alone in his room, and I called him jus= t now with the pay phone, and he's not there, so, we need to find him." Willow sat in front of the computer, furiously pounding the keyboard as sh= e surfed the Internet and her favorite sites to try and calm herself down. Unfortunately, she was just pounding the keys harder and harder until she = was sure the next time she hit that "e" key it was gonna fly off the keyboard.= All her pent up rage at the powers at be were being taken out on this poor old Macintosh. It didn't deserve her pain. Finally she just let her hands rest on the keyboard, although they kept twitching frantically whenever the word "Xander" floated through her mind. Next to her, Xander put a comforting arm around his girlfriend. "You know, Buffy's not here today either," he said soothingly. "Maybe they both felt like they needed days off, far away from everything, you know?" "You mean they've run away?" Willow shrieked, almost jumping out of her ch= air. Oz set to calming Willow down, explaining what he really meant. "Yes!" came the sudden muffled cry from the back of the library. Willow an= d Oz turned around to see Giles come running out of the stacks, a thin little b= ook that said "Journal" in faded gold lettering on the cover. Giles came up be= hind the two lovebirds and pointed to a passage on one of the open pages that w= ere hidden from Oz and Willow's view. "This is it!" Giles said excitedly. "Two matching cases! I can't believe I found them, and in Reginald's Watcher di= ary of all places!" He set the book down, and suddenly acquired a serious expression. "Of course, though, this is a serious matter." The two Slayerette's and the Watcher leaned in to read the passage, which = went somewhat like this: ** Dear Journal, =09=09=09I am dreadfully sorry that I must report dire news today. It has = nothing to do with my Slayer-in-training, Elisabeyta. No, she is doing quite well in = her studies and training, and has done an exceptional job in keeping the vampi= re activity in our small town well under control. If ever called, she will in= deed make a great Slayer. =09=09=09No, what I am writing about it a sad event. As you may notice, th= is page is dated a week after my last entry. It is because of what has happened-with Jacob and Seth. Time after time I was warned to never let my training Slayer to have any friends, family, or acquaintances, but I am always weak to Elisabeyta's wh= ims- she is so gifted and outgoing, and she deserves to live somewhat of a norm= al life, especially since she is not on full duty yet. But this was a mistake= , a mistake that could have been avoided, and now the results are quite dreadf= ul. =09=09=09As written in my journal entries of the past month, Elisabeyta ha= s angered one vampire in particular, one who goes by the name of Greenwalt, though I doubt that it is truly. Lately, he has stepped up his advances on her, but= my Elisabeyta is much to clever to be caught off-guard. Alas, her two friends= , Jacob and Seth, were. =09=09=09Elisabeyta had caught quite a fever from patrolling he night befo= re in a chilling wind, so she was spending the night with her mother, who dutifull= y took care of her as only Mrs. Goody could. Jacob, Seth, and young, sweet Abigail were taking over Elisabeyta's duty, and Greenwalt, to put quite bluntly, drained the boys' of blood until they were at the point of death. Luckily, Abigail and I were able to take them home and miraculously, the b= ite marks disappeared, the boys healed in less then three days, and all was we= ll. =09=09=09All * was * well. Nothing is ever well when dealing with the occu= lt. Jacob and Seth began to exhibited oddities, such as strength they had never possessed before, the inability to taste food, the fading and then overall disappearence of their reflection, and several other symptons, one which w= as a horrible sunburn from the sun that disappeared completely when the sun set= and twilight settled in. All of us-Elisabeyta, Abigail, I, and the boys themselves-knew that Jacob and Seth would soon be vampires. =09=09=09When the sunlight bothered them too much and they were fully avai= ble to transform their faces into that horrible visage, we chained them into the basement below us and waited for the sun to set, in case they were demons,= for we did not know if they would have souls or not, since throughout the orde= al the boys were still very much the same, except for an increase in intelligence, which I would recommend to many of the village people around here. =09=09=09As I was saying, we chained them up and then waited till twilight= . Then Elisabeyta and I crept downstairs, and discovered the two boys completely passed out on the floor. For a moment there we thought they were dead, but Jacob woke up, and soon Seth followed. Neither exhibited signs of the demo= n taking over their body, so we led them upstairs. =09=09=09What a horrible mistake. Jacob suddenly turned on us and began to= attack Elisabeyta, showing us that indeed a demon had taken over him. Seth, who seemed to have kept his demon soul, tried to pull Jacob off of her, but Se= th was always the week one. The three of us watched in horror as Jacob turned around and neatly ripped of Seth's head, turning him into dust. Abigail ke= eps complaining of nightmares, and I am sure that hers shall never go away. I = know that mine never shall. =09=09=09Soon after that, Elisabeyta killed Jacob, knowing that it was no = longer her childhood friend, but a demon who had killed the true Jacob. She has not talked about this incident since it has happened, but I know that this wil= l forever leave an imprint on her life. And I know that she will never, ever befriend anyone outside of Abigail and I. =09=09=09The most important thing that I want to stress to Watchers of the= future is one thing: do not let the Slayer have a life outside his/her sacred duty. = The results are indeed horrible and forever leave you broken and different. I repeat once again: * do not let the Slayer have any other kind of life oth= er than the one she was born for *. It is a downward spiral from there. =09=09=09Signed, Reginald. ** Underneath the Watcher's signature was some more text, written in the neat script that ladies of the olden days used to write in: ** =09=09Since Reginald is long gone, and if I have my way, I shall be gone t= oo, I feel that I must comment on this subject for future slayers. Yes, you will lose each and every friend you make. And the ones who are lucky enough to survive, like Abigail, you constantly watch day and night, afraid that you will lose them because of your incompetence. Please, so not put yourself through the misery I have experienced first-hand. Live your life as it was intended, so it does not have to end as mine did-at my own hand. =09=09May Abigail Stevenson and Reginald Thorpe rest in peace, as may the = lost souls of Jacob and Seth Wilder, whom I shall miss long into my afterlife: =09=09Elisabeyta Susan Goody ** All three of the persons in the library fell into respectful silence as th= ey finished the journal entry. Then Willow's voice quavered, and then a sound managed to escape from her mouth. "We need to find Xander right away." - --------------------------------------------------------------------------= - ---- - --------------------------- "The world is a vampire, sent to drain Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames And what do I get for my pain? Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game." Xander slapped the car radio for the fiftieth time, glaring at the stupid machine that was putting him through the ringer. "Oh sure, go ahead," he s= aid sarcastically to the piece of machinery, "make me more depressed." Xander muttered something intelligible and then gripped the steering wheel to his mother's car tighter, causing the Jaguar to swerve nastily on the deserted back road. He straightened it again and then tried once again to shut the = damn radio * off *. The knob was completely broken, and the Smashing Pumpkin's song poured out= of the speakers: "Even though I know - I suppose I'll show All my cool and cold-like old job Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage (2x) Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal But can you fake it, for just one more show? And what do you want, I want to change And what have you got when you feel the same." The chorus played once again, and Xander stopped the car suddenly. He bang= ed his head against the steering wheel about five times. "I'm a wreck," he sa= id, shutting his eyes and sighing. "I deserve to be a wreck." The song continued on the radio station, and Xander tried to tune out, although the song was so damn catchy and so true in describing him at that very moment. "Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage And I still believe that I cannot be saved." Then the song ended, Xander thanked God loudly, and then revved the engine= up again. He did a dangerous U-turn that should not be done in a little back road, and headed back towards the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign he had passe= d awhile ago. A commercial was playing on the station, and Xander sighed in relief. "Now= all I need them to play is 'The Unforgiven' and it's my best day ever." When the familiar strands of music started up, Xander said several four le= tter words and hit the radio so much that it finally broke, although he receive= d a nasty swollen hand in exchange for complete silence. The road was bumpy and curving, and there were potholes as far as the eye could see. And he had driven quite a ways from Sunnydale, and would have t= o stop at a rest area to get more gas. Xander didn't mind that though: he wa= nted to delay his return as much as possible. "You are a * wreck *," Xander repeated to himself, squinting in the bright sunlight as he approached the familiar sign that that a rest area was up ahead. The sunlight was beginning to hurt his eyes more than usually, and = he felt so damn HOT that he had ripped off his shirt a while back. "And you'r= e a vampire." End of Chapter 6. Feeback needed. Feedback craved. Feedback devoured, good or bad. Feed me! ~Shadows~ ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #383 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)