From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #400 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Tuesday, December 29 1998 Volume 02 : Number 400 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Christmas in Aspen (1/1) BUFFYFIC: "Snowball's Chance" (4/?) by Chase DeKota See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1998 10:25:59 PST From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Christmas in Aspen (1/1) Title: Christmas in Aspen Author: Andrea e-mail: anewbery@hotmail.com disclaimer: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc. They are not mine. spoilers: Everything up to Amends. summary: Cordelia's Christmas. feedback: Sure. Please. "Merry Christmas", Cordelia muttered bitterly to the empty room, pulling the covers over her head as her parents pounded on her door. She ignored them for another few minutes before finally crawling to her feet, grabbing her robe on the way to the door. "Can't this wait?" Cordelia asked, avoiding her Mother's eyes. No sense in facing the disapproving looks this early in the morning. "Cordelia…darling, it is Christmas and your Father and I would like to spend it with you." Her Mother looked at her, her eyes widening with hurt. Her Mother was the queen of guilt trips; she knew just how to lay it on, never too thick, just thin layers covering every word she spoke. Like a spider web, Cordelia thought to herself, and I'm the fly. Smiling reluctantly at her Mother she nodded. "Give me an hour." "I'll give you two." Her Mother answered, staring pointedly at the dark circles under Cordelia's eyes. Ignoring her Mother, she turned to her Father standing on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled distractedly at her as his cell phone rang. Answering it, he headed down the hallway, his wife and daughter already forgotten. Smiling brightly if not honestly at her Mother, Cordelia spun around and headed back into her room, pulling the door shut behind her. She fastened the lock slowly, her head braced against the cool wood. This had to go on record as the worst Christmas she had ever spent. She had known as they had driven towards the lodge that life had played another one of its tricks on her. No snow. Late December in Aspen and the ground was bare. Only two runs open, and they were barely covered in man made snow. She had been lucky yesterday to get one run in before it had started to rain. Although, she was getting better, the rain hadn't surprised her. Nope, she was getting used to being fate's plaything. Shaking her head in disgust she walked into the bathroom, deciding that a nice hot bath would help make this very un-merry Christmas better. If, of course, the water was hot. She wasn't counting on it though. Staring at her reflection in the mirror she questioned herself. "What exactly have I done that's so horrible?" Dropping her robe, she averted her eyes from herself as she slipped into the hot water. No need to stare at the ugly scar that was going to prevent her from ever wearing a bikini again. She leaned her head back against the tub, relaxing in the simple pleasure of being allowed to soak in a bath again. "This is good." She murmured softly, closing her eyes as the room filled with steam. This was better than the Christmas she had planned, before. She would have been so bored spending Christmas in Sunnydale. It was better this way, better that she had found out what a slime Xander was. Imagine the thought of Cordelia Chase, actually considering spending Christmas at home, just so Xander wouldn't have to sleep outside. Of course, he probably wasn't outside, she thought grudgingly, the Slayer and Willow would never let Xander sleep outside. Especially not in Sunnydale. You were asking for it just walking around alone at night. Sleep outside and you were begging the vampires to view you as an all you can suck buffet. Cursing herself under her breath Cordelia climbed from the tub, telling herself for the hundredth time that Xander Harris and his merry bunch of freaks were old news. She was not spending any more time worrying about him, or feeling bad every time she remembered his face when she made that crack about his family. And she was definitely not spending one more minute feeling like her heart was shattered. Cordelia Chase does not get her heart broken, and certainly not by the king of the losers. Then exactly why am I so sad? She asked herself, allowing a rare moment of rationality into her thoughts. She sat down heavily on the edge of the tub, holding her head in her hands. This was not how it was supposed to be, a little voice in her head whispered. Her eyes welled with tears that she struggled to hold back; there was no way she was crying over him again. Not ever. She stood up slowly checking the time, if she was late the guilt trip from her Mother would be unbearable. No need to add being late to the list of unpardonable sins she had committed lately. Her poor Mother was barely holding up under the strain of the whole thing as it was. The thought of her daughter being an outcast from the country club set as well as being marred for life was still keeping her up nights. Throwing on her clothes, she brushed her hair quickly, pulling it back into a plain ponytail. Glancing in the mirror she grimaced, stopping in her tracks and putting make-up on. If she walked into the dining room with her face bare, her mother would probably faint. She entered the dining room exactly two hours after her parents had woken her, a cheery smile pasted on her face. Sitting down she looked questioningly toward her Father's empty chair. Her Mother shrugged, pointing to the bar, where her Father sat, his cell phone plastered to his ear. She turned back to her Mother, rolling her eyes. "Is it even possible for him to go one day without doing business?" Her Mother ignored her remark, concentrating instead on her drink, which was disappearing quickly. Crossing her legs Cordelia leaned back in her chair, another happy Chase holiday was well under way. Her Father came back to the table, laughing as he walked towards them. Cordelia looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain the joke. "I just got off the phone with your Grandmother." Her Father said, still chuckling under his breath. "And Sunnydale is in the midst of a snowstorm." "What?" Cordelia said carefully, sure that she had misunderstood him. "It's snowing in Sunnydale." He repeated. "Maybe we should have stayed home." "This is good." Cordelia said bitterly, standing up. Shaking her head in disbelief she spoke to no one in particular. "Is this some sort of contest? To see exactly how bad you can make my life?" Throwing her hands in the air she stalked away from the table, her voice carrying through the dining room. "Are you playing some strange game of cosmic one-upmanship? She walked rapidly towards her room, deciding that she wasn't actually going to leave it again for the rest of her vacation. Fate, the cosmos, whoever, they were going to have to play this game without her. She was done. They had all the fun they were going to have. Struggling with the door, she dropped the key twice before finally getting into the room. Swallowing back tears she slumped to the floor. How perfect. She got to spend two weeks in freezing, yet snowless Aspen, while back in Sunnydale everyone was enjoying the first White Christmas ever. How much more proof did she need that life was against her? Maybe it's a spell, she thought almost hopefully, leaning her head back against the bed. No, not a spell, more likely it was because of Buffy, some snow demon that had decided to attack. And, of course, everyone except Cordelia would be benefiting from it. If it weren't for the Slayer, she wouldn't have a variety of near death experiences nor been a witness to the mouth of Hell almost opening. Ignoring the voice in the back of her head that told her she wasn't being fair, that if it wasn't for Buffy, she's be long dead, or at the very least horribly disfigured, she climbed to her feet. Pacing around the room she wondered why she had ever let herself get involved with Buffy's world. It wasn't like any of them even appreciated her presence. And all she had to show for it now were extremely vivid nightmares, a hole in her side and her new status as a social pariah. And a broken heart, she added silently, her anger fading. No sense forgetting the best part, she had fallen in love with Xander Harris. And she had been cheated on by Xander Harris. Her stomach tightened at the thought of it, of seeing Xander and Willow together on that bed. A tear slipping down her cheek brought her out of her thoughts. Wiping it away angrily she walked over to the closet. She was done thinking about this. Pulling outfit after outfit from her closet she considered each one carefully before tossing it onto the floor. She needed something sexy, something that said 'Come and get it.' It was Christmas and she wasn't spending it crying over a loser who couldn't even be faithful. Who cared if Sunnydale was experiencing the best Christmas ever? Who cared if Xander was probably having tons of fun with Willow and Buffy? Who cared about any of them? Her face was cold as she muttered out loud. "I hope he slept outside. I hope he froze." Throwing her clothes around with even more determination, she tried to bury the part of her that still worried about him. The part of her that actually felt bad for throwing his post make-out confidence in his face. He deserved it, she told herself, not sure who she was trying to convince. She stopped her search suddenly, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at the green dress hanging in the back of her closet. The dress that even her mother had thought was too expensive. Cordelia had come very close to swallowing her pride and begging before her mother had relented and bought it for her. Her fingers reached out, touching the dress as she remembered how she had planned to wear it on New Year's Eve. How she had planned to dazzle Xander with her beauty and then maybe tell him that she loved him. "Idiot." She hissed to herself, pulling the dress roughly from the hanger and flinging it on the bed. Peeling her clothes off she slipped it over her head, not caring if she ripped the fragile material. Standing in the front of the mirror she glared at her reflection. Grabbing a brush she set to work styling her hair. "If Xander thinks I'm going to sit around crying over him, he's got another thing coming." Muttering to herself, she finished her hair and darkened her make-up. Trying desperately not to think of the fact that Xander probably wasn't thinking about her at all. She found the highest heels she had brought and slipped them on before stalking out the door. Cordelia Chase was on the hunt, and she would have Xander replaced in no time at all. She held her head high as she walked into the lounge, her parents smiling with pleasure at her appearance. "Cordelia, you look beautiful." Her Mother offered, her voice slightly slurred. "Thanks." Cordelia murmured. And you look trashed, she thought turning away from her parents to scan the room. She spotted her prey almost immediately, sitting in a dark corner in the room. His expression was knowing as he watched her move towards him. Sitting down in the chair behind him, she smiled faintly, hoping to appear mysterious. Right Cordy, she told herself, it's a little hard to look mysterious when you make a beeline to him. Desperate maybe. Her smile faded slightly as she leaned back in her chair. He laughed softly, sending chills down her back. Holding out his hand to her he spoke, his voice accented. "Karl Edstrom. And you are?" "Cordelia Chase." She whispered, taking his hand. He gently lifted her hand to his mouth, his lips brushing against it. Releasing her, he spoke again. "Did you enjoy the slopes today?" "I didn't see the point." She answered him, her hand still hovering in the air. "There was only one run open." "Ahhh." Picking up his drink, he motioned towards the waiter. "I'm afraid that I spent the entire day waiting in line for that run." "Oh." She breathed, before falling into an awkward silence. She was just out of practice, but she could do this. She had to move on, get over Xander. Forcing a smile on her face, she watched the waiter move towards them. "May I buy you a drink?" He offered, motioning to his cup. "I'm drinking coffee to warm up, but maybe you would like something stronger?" "Scotch, neat." She blurted out, falling back on her Mother's drink of choice. The waiter looked at her for a moment, before nodding his head. He brought their drinks quickly, and Cordelia swallowed it in one gulp, stopping herself from choking by pure will. She smiled at Karl as the liquor warmed her stomach. "Dance?" He questioned her a few minutes later, his green eyes almost glowing. "Why not?" Cordelia said, climbing to her feet. He led her to the dance floor, his arms holding her tightly as they moved. She closed her eyes and let herself pretend that it was Xander's arms encircling her, Xander's lips that were kissing her neck. They danced for hours, only stopping for Cordelia to get another drink. By the time the lounge was closing, she was encased in a rosy glow, and positive that Karl was the perfect person to help her forget Xander. He walked her back to her room, pausing outside of her door to kiss her, his lips cold against hers. She stiffened, feeling the difference between his lips and Xander's, before forcing herself to kiss him back. Opening her door, she invited him in, determined that she would exorcise Xander from her mind and her body once and for all. Karl followed her silently, sitting on her bed while she took of her shoes. She sat down next to him, curling her arms around his neck as she kissed him. His lips met hers, harder than before as he pushed her backward onto the bed. "I can't." She said suddenly, pushing him off her as she sat up. "I'm sorry, I know I invited you in, but I just broke up with my boyfriend and..." Her voice trailed off as she stared miserably at the floor. "I can." He answered her, his voice low and harsh. She turned to look at him in surprise, a scream following as his eyes glowed in the dark room. "Oh God." She jumped up from the bed, heading to the door, but he caught up with her before she had taken two steps. Spinning her around she looked up into his face. Into a vampire's face. Cordelia choked back a sob, wishing that Buffy was here. And why wasn't Buffy here, it was her job to kill vampires. Cordelia whimpered as his lips brushed over her neck. She was going to die. What would Buffy do? Think Cordy, think. There has to be a way out of this. Her knee came up before she formed the thought, catching him solidly between the legs. He moved back, growling loudly. Cordelia took the opportunity and ran towards the bathroom. Throwing the door closed behind her she locked it frantically, looking around for a weapon. If the vampires in Sunnydale were anything to go by, the door wouldn't be holding him long. Cordelia looked around in a panic, wishing that she was in Sunnydale right now. Spotting her hairbrush she picked it up as his hand broke through the door. His hand was peeling away the door as she realized that the hairbrush wasn't going to do her any good. She needed something sharp, like a stake. "Or like a towel rack." She whispered to herself, pulling the towels off and using every bit of strength she had to break it. Holding the thin piece of wood behind her she backed into the corner as he entered the room. "Come on Cordelia." He spoke calmly, his face returned to it's human form. "We were having such fun." "It's a shame it's over." She shot back. "Not for me." He laughed as he morphed once again, standing over her before she could react. "You vampires are all the same. No variety, no wit." Struggling to look confident, she was rewarded when he paused. "You're weak, you never could have faced a vampire and lived." He was on her again before she knew it, his lips curling back as he bent to her neck. She moved her hand around as fast as she could, knowing she had only one chance to live. If she missed his heart, she was dead. Using everything she had she pushed the towel rack into his chest, holding her breath until he moved back, his face surprised as he exploded into dust. Cordelia didn't move as the dust settled in her hair, and on her dress. Leaning her head back onto the wall she closed her eyes, her breath coming in huge gasps. She was alive, she had faced a vampire alone and survived. Slipping down to the floor she started to cry, rocking slowly back and forth. She wasn't aware of how long she sat there, wasn't aware of anything except that she was still alive. The sun slowly lit the bathroom, coming in from the tiny window above the bath. Standing slowly, she glanced at the ruin of her dress, covered with tears and dust. Pulling it over her head she threw it in the trash can as she stepped into the shower. Letting the hot water rush over her, she laughed to herself. "I won." She thought of Buffy as she got out of the shower; this was the Slayer's life all of the time. It wasn't a freak occurrence or a mistake in judgment. Buffy faced death every night, and Cordelia had never given her any credit for it. No, instead she had blamed her for every bad thing that happened to her. She had even blamed Buffy for Xander, something that Buffy had nothing to do with. She dressed slowly, lost in her thoughts. When she got back to Sunnydale, she was going to talk to Buffy. Apologize to Buffy, and maybe even thank her for everything she did. Cordelia sat down on her bed, picturing Buffy, Willow and Xander. They weren't bad people, no matter how much she wished they were. If she was honest with herself she knew that a very big part of Xander had always belonged to Willow, and to Buffy. He had called her after she had seen him with Willow, begging for another chance and she had ignored him, letting her hurt feelings and her pride keep her from the person that she loved. Xander hadn't wanted to stay with Willow, he had wanted to be with her. "But for how long?" She whispered sadly, her eyes bright with tears. She wanted all of Xander, wanted him to love her completely and she could never have that. He had a connection to Willow that she could never touch. Oz could probably accept that, she thought, he could love Willow completely even if she never felt exactly the same. Cordelia felt very small inside as she realized she couldn't. She didn't have the strength to be able to handle it. For her, it had to be all or nothing. Climbing into her bed, she pulled the covers up around her neck, staring at the ceiling while tears slipped down her face. It was nothing. ~end. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1998 06:37:12 EST From: ChaseDKota@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Snowball's Chance" (4/?) by Chase DeKota TITLE: Snowball's Chance AUTHOR: Chase DeKota EMAIL: ChaseDKota@aol.com FEEDBACK: Please. Don't make me beg, 'cause I will. DISTRIBUTION: Just let me know. RATING: PG-14 SPOILERS and TIMELINE: The story pretty much carries itself. Haven't seen "Amends" yet, but I'm pretty sure this is just prior. Or maybe just after= . Spoilers all the way through "The Wish" just to be safe. SUMMARY: Thus far - Benefit concert at the museum. The Scooby Gang has b= een 'volunteered' to help with it. While chasing a strange girl she met durin= g patrols, Buffy discovers that Ethan Rayne is back in town. DISCLAIMER: The world of BtVS belongs to 20th Century Fox, with nods to Jo= ss Whedon and company; I'm only visiting it. 'Mac' and her magick appears courtesy of J.J. Benike. Many thanks to my beta readers. To those who've offered feedback on previous parts: Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!! And please, keep it coming. It inspires me. =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Snowball's Chance By: Chase DeKota Part: 4/? =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D =93Well, it isn=92t here now.=94 His tone was matter-of-fact. Case close= d, end of story. =93I=92ve checked every book in here and---=94 Ethan paused, looked indig= nant, muttered something impolite, and cast a glare to the unseen, unheard other half of the conversation. =93What isn=92t here?=94 He froze. A very annoyed-looking Vampire Slayer was standing in the doorway, arms crossed. =93Why are you up to this time?=94 While waiting for an answer, Buffy quickly glanced around the cramped litt= le office. Books were scattered about the room and stacked on every level surface. Probably all belonging to the =91Dr. Adams=92 whose name was stenciled on = the door. While she was quite sure Ethan had been talking to someone else, there was= no one but the two of them in the room that she could see. Unless the missin= g party was simply hiding, but that seemed unlikely. There simply wasn=92t = any place to hide. The reason Buffy couldn=92t see anyone besides Ethan and herself was becau= se they were indeed the only two in the room At that time, anyway. Meanwhile, Ethan was silently weighing his options and finding them very limited. He removed the glasses he was wearing, as if expecting to be hit= in the face in the near future. It was a smart move because he would be. His first thought was to just run for it. That was his usual reaction in situations such as this, anyway. Today that choice was, of course, implausible. The only exit was blocked and the small room didn=92t even o= ffer space in which one could safely hide. Besides, he had to find.... =93You know, you still haven=92t answered my questions,=94 the Slayer rem= inded him. =93I=92m getting impatient, and when I get impatient, I start get violent.= =94 To show she meant business, Buffy took a couple of steps forward, putting herself within striking distance. =93Let me try this again,=94 she said, =93what are you doing here.=94 Ethan responded with smooth, characteristic confidence. =93I decided it w= as time for a career change,=94 he said, smiling in a way that said he was lying t= hrough his teeth. There was very little movement from Buffy and no way he could=92ve seen it coming, other than the fact every meeting with the Slayer held a predeterm= ined punch to the face. Or so it seemed. The force behind the blow was slight, just enough to send Ethan back again= st the wall. It, like so many others, was only meant to solicit straight information. =93One more time: why are you here?=94 Buffy held her fist up. Another = snide remark and she wouldn=92t go so easy. =93If you *must* know...I=92m looking for a book.=94 The girl rolled her eyes and shook her head, disappointed. =93I at least expected a better excuse than that, especially from you.=94 She started t= o pull her arm back to put momentum behind the blow and Ethan tried to retreat, slightly panicky. It was quite a move, considering his back was already t= o the wall. =93No, really!=94 He motioned to the numerous volumes piled on the desk, = the table, the floor. =93Just a book. As soon as I find it, I=92m gone. I promise.=94 Buffy feigned consideration. =93Why don=92t I believe you? Couldn=92t be= because of our track record, could it?=94 But what was she going to do? For all she knew, Ethan was impersonating someone - given the uncustomary-= for- him tweed suit and all. How would it look if she was caught assaulting a =93visiting resident=94 to the museum? Mentally, she listed her alternati= ves, from tying him up (with what?) to alerting the museum authorities (and the= y=92d believe her, *Buffy Summers, ex-murder suspect* right?). She frowned and hated the decision she made. It was too much like giving = him the benefit of the doubt. Or at least trusting he didn=92t high-tail it a= s soon as she left. For the record, that was precisely what Ethan planned to do. She needed to confer with her Watcher. There was no sign of a telephone i= n the office but she could find one in the lobby. The bus back to school di= dn=92t leave for another -- 5 minutes!! Buffy checked her watch again, just to b= e sure. She must=92ve lost track of the time somewhere. She had to go. They=92d take attendance, no doubt. Principal Snyder would look at his clipboard and call out =93Buffy Summers?=94 and be met with silence. Snyd= er would know she had left the auditorium ( a definite no-no - volunteers for the concert were supposed to be working, not wandering through the museum at will). She was already on the =93most wanted=94 list of Sunnydale=92s tro= ll- principal. Missing the bus would not help. Buffy glanced at the man watching her carefully as he ever-so-slowly made = his way towards the door. She raised an eyebrow and he froze, trying to look innocent. =93Just get out of town,=94 Buffy said. Ethan gave her a look that was a = mixture of surprise and confusion, but nodded compliantly. Probably hadn=92t expe= cted to get off so easily. Buffy didn=92t have time to say anything else. She turned and hurried to = catch her bus. The door swung shut behind the departing Slayer. A girl dressed in black = was leaning against it. She didn=92t fade in or appear with a flash of light;= she simply was there. =93Do you have any idea what she=92s going to do to you= when she finds out you=92re lying?=94 She grinned, gleefully imagining all sor= ts of unpleasantness. =93I wasn=92t lying...completely.=94 Ethan straightened his tie and rando= mly selected a book off the desk. He opened it, thumbed through a few pages, = then tossed in back into the stack. =93It=92s not here.=94 Mac agreed. =93No, it=92s not. As I was trying to say before we were interrupted, I found it---=94 She stopped, tilted her head, and frowned. =93Hold that thought= . We gotta move. Now. She=92s coming back.=94 Ethan was out the door within seconds. He headed for the exit and his car= . =93What were you saying? You found what?=94 Mac glanced around the room and the lights clicked off. She caught up wit= h Ethan and finished her earlier account. =93I said I found the third book.= It *is* here in Sunnydale. I knew it was.=94 She smiled, obviously pleased = with herself. =93Well?=94 =93It=92s not far from here, actually. We could even swing by Sunnydale H= igh and pick it up today. It=92s in the library.=94 =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #400 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. 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