From: Lurline Russell Subject: JSF: Fw: chuckles - some repeat Date: 02 Sep 1999 07:28:43 -0700 **** Joseph Stout Family Organization mailing list **** --------- Forwarded message ---------- ALAN.ALLRED@MICROCHIP.com, jbrought@pinacor.com Message-ID: Did you know that "verb" is a noun? How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know? If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to "member" somebody in order to remember them? In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same? Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable? Is there another word for a synonym? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? What is another word for "thesaurus"? Where do swear words come from? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why do people use the word "irregardless"? Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?" Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof? Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug? Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? Why don't we say "why" instead of "how come"? Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "Crazy, man!" is a compliment? Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Why is dyslexic so hard to spell? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple? Why is it that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary? Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- To unsubscribe from the joseph-stout-family mailing list, send an email to "majordomo@lists.xmission.com" with "unsubscribe joseph-stout-family" as the first and only line in the body of the message. For information on retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Lawrence N Barney Subject: JSF: [Fwd: Fw: Bricks!!!!!!!!!!] Date: 14 Oct 1999 18:04:42 -0600 **** Joseph Stout Family Organization mailing list **** "Robert R. Hayward" wrote: > ----- Original Message ----- > Subject: Bricks!!!!!!!!!! > > > > > About ten years ago, a young and very successful > > executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago > > neighborhood street. > > > > He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 > > cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. > > > > He was watching for kids darting out from between > > parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw > > something. As his car passed, no child darted out, > > but a brick sailed out and-WHUMP! -- it smashed into > > the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH...!!!! > > Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and > > tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from > > where the brick had been thrown. > > > > Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed > > him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, > > "What was that all about and who are you? Just what > > the heck are you doing?" > > > > Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my > > new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot > > of money. Why did you throw it?" > > > > Please, mister, please...I'm sorry! I didn't know > > what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the > > brick because no one else would stop!" > > Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed > > around the parked car. > > It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the > > curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift > > him up." > > > > Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you > > please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's > > hurt and he's too heavy for me." > > > > Moved beyond words, the young executive tried > > desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in > > his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back > > into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and > > wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that > > everything was going to be OK. He then watched > > the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward > > their home. > > > > It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, > > 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE - a long and slow walk. Josh > > never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He > > kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so > > fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get > > his attention. > > > > Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the > > bricks of life coming at you. > > For all the negative things we have to say to > > ourselves, God has positive answers: > > > > You say: "It's impossible." > > God says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27) > > > > You say: "I'm too tired." > > God says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30) > > > > You say: "Nobody really loves me." > > God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & John13:34) > > > > You say: "I can't go on." > > God says: My grace is sufficient. (II Corinthians 12:9 > > & Psalm 91:15) > > > > You say: "I can't figure things out." > > God says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6) > > > > You say: "I can't do it." > > God says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13) > > > > You say: "I'm not able." > > God says: I am able. (II Corinthians 9:8) > > > > You say: "It's not worth it." > > God says: It will be worth it. (Roman 8:28) > > > > You say: "I can't forgive myself." > > God says: I FORGIVE YOU. (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1) > > > > You say: "I can't manage." > > God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Philippians > > 4:19) > > > > You say: "I'm afraid." > > God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear." (II > > Timothy 1:7) > > > > You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated." > > God says: "Cast all your cares on ME." (I Peter 5:7) > > > > You say: "I don't have enough faith." > > God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith." > > (Romans 12:3) > > > > You say: "I'm not smart enough." > > God says: "I give you wisdom." (I Corinthians 1:30) > > > > You say: "I feel all alone." > > God says: 'I will never leave you or forsake you." > > (Hebrews 13:5) > > ==== STOUT Mailing List ==== > Have you considered joining the Rootsweb Genealogical Data > Cooperative? > > http://www.rootsweb.com/ -- \=======================\============================================= \ Lawrence N Barney \ EMAIL:larry@xmission.com \ 378 E 9800 S \ WEB: http://www.xmission.com/~larry \ SANDY UT 84070-3551 \ PHONE:(801) 571-9661 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- To unsubscribe from the joseph-stout-family mailing list, send an email to "majordomo@lists.xmission.com" with "unsubscribe joseph-stout-family" as the first and only line in the body of the message. For information on retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message.